Last spring when COVID hit I went on a furlough status with work. They said we would have jobs to come back to but really who knew anything at that time. Rumors about closing were flying around. My lease was up and I decided to play it safe and move in with my parents.

My father is a grandiose narcissist, my mother is zero self esteem, queen pickme/enabler, and my younger sister who lives nearby is a covert narc.

Needless to say this was a hard choice for me. In the end, it turns out my fear of poverty was stronger than the fear of my father. I figured I could at least stay and pay off my student loans in about a year and get outta dodge!

There's been some up and downs but overall I'm handling things okay. My parents do make my life more stressful. I long for my old quiet apartment and how pretty the trees looked after snowfall. My therapist is keeping me sane, thank god I have her.

I often get down on myself because I'm 31 and moved back in with my parents. I feel embarrassed as well, although my friends have been nothing but supportive and I'm so lucky to have them.

Sometimes it makes me feel like a poser HVW. I want to be an FDS woman and I do my best to view this sacrifice as leveling up but it can be hard. I try to tell myself it will be so much better for me in the long run....however I can't help but feel like a failure sometimes. I wasted so much of my 20's going to schools and studying things I didn't care about. Wracking up that student debt. Building up baby boys....two of them needed me to teach them how to use a microwave *facepalm*

I build my confidence up by positive self talk:

"You are stronger than ever, younger you would never enforce that boundary with dad!"
"You are taking care of your health, fitness, and gaining knowledge for a side hustle, you got this!" "You're sacrifice will be worth it, being debt free will release such a burden from your shoulders!"

"You ARE an FDS woman because you are strong and can get through this!"

Are there other women here in unfavorable situations who struggle in a similar way? Let's help each other out!