For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.

sassyheather · 2021-01-25T08:13:55+00:00

I didn’t only lose him to that, but it was part of it all. I had just moved to the country where he lived for my studies and we were finally done with our LDR.

Soon enough I figured that he doesn’t put much effort in finding a job even though he was said to be a valued specialist: bachelor and master in the IT area, almost fluent level of the country’s language and fluent in English, sounds good right? For some reason he kept getting “no’s” from interviews and just whined about being jobless. He also whined about low salary when he went to a certain interview and always sounded like he didn’t really wanna try and be there.

When I suggested he applied for new places, he said things like “I applied for 2 new places and am waiting to hear from them” and made it sound like “waaaah I already went to not 1, but 2 interviews and they didn’t take me, now I want to stay home and play games”. It was like he did the whole application and interview process as a favor to anyone, instead of actually wanting to find a job.

A guy he was friends with had promised him a job and I had to NAG my ex to call this guy and ask about the job and when he could start. My ex kept saying “He will call me” and I said “Why don’t you show initiative?”, he kept being like “Why should I, he said I could have a job and he’ll call me when it’s time to start” which now really sounds to me like “Oh no, I am so scared to work, what if I call and he asks me to move my lazy ass and start working, nooo, it’s better to wait”.

When I was home after university and asked what he had done, it was along the lines of “I went grocery shopping, went to the gym and played games”. Nothing wrong with gym and shopping but it started sounding like he was a trophy wife. I had to keep nagging him about applying to new jobs and calling HR at the ones he had applied for. His mother also had to call and keep reminding him, asking about his interviews and whether he considers going back to our home country to have it easier to find a job there.

Flowermashup · 2021-01-25T13:29:15+00:00

I tried to "communicate" for a really long time. We just stopped being intimate, he stopped showing affection, he was always somewhere else and he would always be playing games. I came home once after I've been working for 12 hours, I called him and told him to make me something to eat, he didn't. Asshole started yelling at me how he ain't going to be my maid just because I was working and then starts yelling at me again how I never mop the floor.

He didn't even know what foreplay was. Sex was awful, I was always in pain because I was never wet enough. I used to send him articles about foreplay and why it's beneficial in a relationship. Wanna know what his answer was? "I have a dick, I don't understand why I have to do anything else."

One day I had enough of it. I found my own place, waited until he went to work because I was scared of him, packed my things and left. He called at first to threaten me, saying how he knows where I am. When that didn't work he called me crying about how he knows where he fucked up and how it is all going to change if I just give him another chance. Blocked every number that he used ever since. Never saw his dusty ass again.

pinkfleurhappiness · 2021-01-25T12:11:10+00:00

My (sort of friend) let her partner name their baby so she could get a kitten. He named the kid an awful name from a game and she never got the kitten.

fds_greenbean · 2021-01-25T15:27:14+00:00

I entered the relationship knowing he was a gamer, and I was too. We were both in a bad place. Lesson learned: never look for romantic companionship in a time of need or while you're emotionally suffering.

I was depressed but I always had hope for something better and eventually went back to school. I thought he would want to level up and experience all the hallmarks of building a successful life together but found after moving in with him, in a different state, that he was content working two days a week and playing nothing but League. I ended up working and coasting along because I couldn't afford the out of state tuition after moving. I was angry often that he didn't care, that he was filthy, that he didn't brush his teeth, that he wouldn't hold me in bed because it was more comfortable for him to lay on his back. For some reason I still wanted to have sex but he refused, telling me he's asexual. I asked him to seek therapy but he never did.

I was too stupid and too angry to understand he wouldn't change. After an argument he put his hands over me like he wanted to hit me but held back. You can guess what eventually happened, but I was numb and thought it was better than going home. Leaving one abusive home to return to another would have just been a step back.

The last few months were the turning point and it's been like dominoes, one falling after another. This Thanksgiving he hurt me and I told a good friend what happened...so my friend drove eight hours on Christmas to let me celebrate with his family. When he dropped me back off I didn't want to let go hugging him. It got me to start truly wondering if I could leave and how.

Earlier this month my boyfriend left his room open and sitting on the bottom of his desk near the door was a masturbator. I don't think I'd ever felt so repulsed - not hurt or betrayed, but disgusted to my core. Sometimes he'll take it to the bedroom - he just leaves it laying in the open. I looked it up and it's one you can use with a partner over an app. I can't imagine who would use it with him unless he's paying someone. It helped me realize he's a porn addict, not asexual.

The final straw was an argument we had about how I need to stop sleeping in the living room because he can't get fast food or play video games loudly in the middle of the night without waking me. I told him I wouldn't be in the living room if he hadn't beat me. His response exactly: "it's been two years, you need to get over it." Two years since the broom, not his fists. Since then I haven't talked to him unless necessary. I used to worry about his future. In that moment I didn't feel guilt for him anymore. It was like a gift. I'm in the process of leaving now.

I know this is long and rambling, but I need to make this point very clear: I didn't lose him, this was a person who hadn't changed from the start. I sought a distraction and remedy for my trauma and had no idea what stability and health looked like in a relationship between two people. I lost a large part of my life because I lacked guidance and was controlled by my fear of leaving. The signs were there from the start. Any game that you can't put down on the spot is a poison and addicts won't change. These games aren't hobbies to men.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-01-25T14:52:19+00:00

GamerMaiding... it's a fast train to hell. The only thing I'll add to all of these stories is that: a) if you drag an gaming addict out of the gaming hole, he may end up even more lost because his entire sense of self is rooted in gaming; b) he will resent the hell out of you for doing it; c) there are no resources like Al anon for women dealing with game addicts and there oughta be.

hateitherexx · 2021-01-25T17:26:07+00:00

Honestly it was a small fraction of everything, we were both college students, so I didn't expect for him to fit the whole financially independent part of what I wanted, but because I was it was a bit annoying that he'd spend a lot of money on League of Legends for skins and buying people skins, I got red flags really quickly. He was pretty lovely the first few weeks we started talking, and then it flipped 180°.

He started to make fun of how much I cared about school over video games and wanted to be on a phone call every single second of the day because he said I should appreciate that he is an emotional man (he was narcissistic).

When he started to say he wanted me to cosplay for him and "send pics of you dressed with barely anything or nothing at all" or that I should look more like certain characters I thought he was joking because it sounded so insane that he was this disgusting.

it was when we were playing together that same day when I was new at the game and I died, he lost it and yelled at me like I had just killed someone in real life and he called out each insecurity that night. Talked to him after and he said "it's just a game, you should be able to take a joke."

No, I can't take those kinds of jokes, so I blocked and deleted that "joke" of a man, and he flipped all his friends on me (which were more my friends than his) and continues to call me the love of his life that was toxic and bitchy because I saw through his bullshit. He called me everyday after I did that and blocking his number didn't work for some reason and said the least I could do was help him heal.

The worst comment he made was how he said he probably could do better at law school than me, he is a communications major, and I am really dedicated to school, so that was pathetic. He said that because I was assaulted and r*ped that I was used (he had pressed me about my past and I got triggered, cried, and I told him)

Boyyy that was a messy month that kept me back from healing from other things in my life. League is a toxic community as a whole and it took me one month too long to get that.

Please be careful ladies, the right one is YOU, so when someone comes to fill your cup in a different way than you can, that's what you deserve💘

AnnieandFish · 2021-01-25T18:22:37+00:00

These are some terrifying stories, but I would note that for people who enjoy playing these games from time to time, there are some players who are nothing like these guys.

I dumped one ex who sat in my apartment and did nothing but game all day (League and WoW for her), but her personality was already deficient without the gaming, and it would have been awful in another way without it. I only “lost” her in that she took credit for the breakup a few days later.

That having been said, I had a fantastic group of guy friends I used to play league with, and my fiancé has a couple hours out of the week that are set aside to play WoW with some friends while they talk. My experience with the game was something I cherish, but I know there was a lot of luck to finding a wholesome group like that. I also have no doubt that if I told my fiancé to quit WoW, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But that’s a group call he and his friends hop on weekly, and I can just do anything else for a couple of hours while they catch up.

If you’ve been practicing FDS for a while, the red flags that correspond to a gaming addiction should be apparent during vetting. I should imagine a pretty clear gap between the person who tells you he adores you every day, and outlines the time he’s free to do anything you’d like because work schedules are ambiguous right now versus the one who’s been promising to do something helpful for weeks and hasn’t, or the one who wouldn’t look away from a game for his naked SO.

Thesseli · 2021-01-25T13:56:46+00:00

The big difference between men playing games and women playing games is that when women do it, it's as a hobby or a diversion, while men will put job-level effort into it (instead of actually having a job).

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-01-25T20:45:25+00:00

My first year in college there was a guy in one of my classes who became obsessed with me (“Tommy”)

We were both the same age. Both played video games. He was part of my friend group. But he was so afraid of making any move. Eventually he helped a few of us, including me, get a job at the software company he got hired on with as techs.

Tommy eventually got the courage to ask me out. But when I asked where, he didn’t want to go out because of his anxiety. He didn’t want to walk or hike because of his anxiety and working out around me. He didn’t want to do anything in public anywhere with anyone. He invited me to his parents house where he lived (not unusual at that time for our age). He just wanted to buy me gifts (gift cards, my wish list items) which was EXTREMELY NICE of him. But I always said, “I just want your time”

And it was never the right time. Always a new game coming out. Work to take off for a game release. Etc etc etc.

He would always choose gaming over me. We are in our 30s now and he has the same exact schedules.

Good dude. But... he is wasting his life away

Title	For all the women who “lost” their LVM/NVM to League of Legends, WoW etc. post your stories below.
Author	dancedance_83
Upvotes	123
Comments	32
Date	January 25, 2021 2:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l4e42a/for_all_the_women_who_lost_their_lvmnvm_to_league/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/for-all-the-women-who-lost-their-lvmnvm-to-league.734678 https://theredarchive.com/post/734678

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