What do you say to sexist remarks?

purasangria · 2021-01-24T23:19:15+00:00

Ignore. That's the most potent weapon against men, and it can't be turned against you because you literally did nothing.

Also, men HATE to be ignored, so this is using the best weapon that infuriates them the most, and they can't say shit about it without coming off as a whiny little manlet.

"She's ignoring me!" What, is that all you got, manlet? 🤣🤣🤣

West-Cook · 2021-01-24T23:50:48+00:00

If it’s one on one I generally blank on them, because there’s no use in calling a sexist a sexist. If it’s in a group, I’d respond as if they were being completely serious. Like “make me a sandwich.” “No thanks, I’m not your mom”... actually, I haven’t gotten the nerve to say the last part, but have genuinely straight faced tell a man “no” before to that request, and it got a reaction from the other men in the vicinity as if I’d delivered a sick burn. Idk, I feel like they were performatively on my side regarding the sexist remark thing only because I stood up to the guy first. If I had let it go completely, they would’ve probably treated it as business as usually.

Thankfully, at least halfway through college I had curated my social circle to avoid men who would say something downright sexist to me or any woman, at least in front of others or to me personally. Occasionally my uncle or family say things I either blank out or straight out say no thanks to. (Like, when they tell me I should be having babies soon... “no thanks uncle, I’m good.”)

2021-01-25T01:55:08+00:00

Cut them off.

I cut off male family members for "jokes" like this.

These guys don't even know how to do basic grocery shopping.

Men abusing women out of these hobbies doesn't make the hobbies more masculine. It just makes a lot of men bullies.

You are literally just living your life healthily.

Good on you.

Mcccy · 2021-01-24T23:45:45+00:00

I call my two huge German Shepherds to come :) Love seeing them go from 'smirk' to 'just sh#ted my pants'

pickadaisy · 2021-01-24T22:49:43+00:00

Hmm. Maybe for sanity purposes, I’d play dumb and respond as if it was meant to be a joke.

“Make me a sandwich.” Ha, that would be nice, huh? If you’re making one, make one for me.

“Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?” Why? Did I leave my gun/rod/knife/keys in there? Mind grabbing it for me while you’re making me a sandwich? 😂

“Female drivers, eh?” Right? I feel so much safer with less men on the road.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Probably making me a sandwich in the kitchen.

“Another dishwasher forgetting her place.” You know us women, so darn forgetful. Isn’t it crazy the U.S. has a female VP now?

“Aw, your daddy let’s you use his gear?” (LOL. So many porn sickness joked for this one...)

Whenever I’m forced to be around a lot of sexism/racism/etc., I just don’t let it show that it bothers me, I step into the joke, and in my head I usually laugh to myself about how stupid men are when I’m able to distract them or pull a sarcastic one over on them.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-01-24T22:59:26+00:00

I usually either completely ignore them, or if I like the person (family member etc.) I explain why it's not okay to say that. If they're like: "It was just a joke." I look straight in their eyes and then ignore them lol.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-01-25T11:04:15+00:00

Genuinely apologise and ask them to repeat themselves because you couldn't here them properly, when the moment has passed they might feel stupid repeating themselves- if they do, either interrupt them saying "wait, I think I just heard a (insert believable noise)" then apologise again and say "what were you saying?" hopefully by now they cbf, also if they repeat themselves say, "you're mumbling can you speak clearly?" if they say "oh never mind" Insist that they tell you what they were going to say but appear genuine, if after all this shit they still want to make that throw away sexist comment, respond like you are confused / unimpressed and bored. like, riiiight.. kewl. Then excuse yourself and leave.

ReignOnYou95 · 2021-01-25T03:24:50+00:00

I usually act unbothered and flip it around on them

cloudless-blanket · 2021-01-25T18:38:29+00:00

I am an avid hunter and I am currently learning how to ice fish.

Oh my god! You are so freaking cool! I was just thinking about how I want to learn how to hunt and fish (for food not for sport). Talk about maximum independence.

I'm not sure what the circumstances are when these men make these comments--like if they are out hunting with you or anything, but all I can see is this transpiring:

Man: "Pfft shouldn't you be in the kitchen? Where's your boyfriend?"

You: calmly aiming the gun at an undisclosed target "He...upset me." fires

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-01-25T06:28:37+00:00

I love the humorous comeback suggestions people are making.

The way I see it, humor is a serious political tactic and we should all be students of serious political tactics. The Serbian resistance group OTPOR! used humor to take down Milosovic and use of humor is in the bible of non-violent resistance by Gene Sharp that's been used as a guide by resistance movements around the world. https://www.berggruen.org/ideas/articles/to-defy-a-dictator-send-in-the-clowns/

So it's not an idle or "negative" exercise to think up comebacks and respond to repression in a prepared and performative way. Done right you can make yourself laugh and live longer for it. Great quote in the linked article:

The greatest enemy of authority … is contempt, and the surest way to undermine it is laughter.

--Hannah Arendt

temproaryusername · 2021-01-27T03:07:53+00:00

Lots of good comments here. For myself, it depends on the situation. If its a stranger in passing, I always say EXTREMELY LOUDLY TO DRAW ATTENTION TO THEM "Whats it to you asshole/And if I do/am, what are you gonna do about it asshole?" In all my life, I've never had a guy with the balls to come back at me once I've drawn public attention to him. And if you get strange looks from onlookers, just explain "Can you believe what that guy just said to me?"

If its in conversation, I get really still, wide eyed, and stone-faced. I always ask them to explain. "I don't understand. Why would I be in the kitchen? Why would my dad loan me his gear? Why would I make you a sandwhich?"

"Well bc we all know girls don't xyz!"

"No I don't know that all people know that. Why do you think that? Where did you hear that from? Do you really think that about women?"

And just keep going. The more you draw attention to a man who says bullshit the more flustered he gets. You can also come back with your own "jokes": "Ohhhh.... a joke. You mean like how your dick is so small its actually inverted?"

doofcustard · 2021-01-25T06:11:21+00:00

Sarcastically, "ooh that's original. I've never heard that one before"

Title	What do you say to sexist remarks?
Author	astrawberryparfait
Upvotes	62
Comments	15
Date	January 24, 2021 1:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l3pj1d/what_do_you_say_to_sexist_remarks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-do-you-say-to-sexist-remarks.734713 https://theredarchive.com/post/734713

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