Should you mate-guard your man?

KombuchaEnema · 2021-03-04T16:36:35+00:00

Personally I find “mate guarding” behaviors to be a bit shameful and embarrassing. If the goal of a woman is to be feminine, graceful, and submissive, then mate-guarding is just about the last thing you should be doing since it seems to be a very masculine action.

Also, you risk looking insecure if you misjudge the intentions of other women. In my opinion it should be the responsibility of the man to establish proper boundaries with any woman who attempts to cross them.

It makes me cringe when I see a man allowing a woman to obviously and clearly flirt with him only for his girlfriend to come flying like a bat out of hell to put a stop to it. It makes me think he doesn’t respect his girlfriend and that his girlfriend is trying desperately to cling to him so he doesn’t just leave with another woman.

If a high-value man gets what he wants and puts a stop to things he doesn’t want, then a high-value man would put a stop to any flirting.

If I had to “guard” my man because he wasn’t capable of setting boundaries, I would assume that he wasn’t truly my man. I disagree that men want to watch women fight over them. A low-value man might enjoy the spectacle of watching his woman make a fool of herself to keep him around, but a high-value man would not do such a thing.

Of course, there are ways of mate-guarding that are so subtle as to be almost unnoticeable. For example, if a woman has been subtly flirting with your man (perhaps in a way he doesn’t recognize since men generally seem oblivious to subtle flirting), then you can always make sure to show how close you are whenever you’re together. Kisses on the cheek, handholding, and even touching his knee/thigh are subtle ways to remind other women that he is committed to you.

However, I still think mate-guarding borders on being masculine behavior.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-03-04T16:38:13+00:00

Yeah I don’t know about mate guarding. If it’s something like being affectionate with your bf/husband in front of a woman who is clearly interested in him, that seems reasonable.

Fighting a woman when your man is the one who strayed just seems dumb.

Personally, I would never stop a man I’m with from sleeping with other women. He’s free to do as he wishes. He’s just not free from the consequence of me not wanting to be with him after that. He’s an adult and can make his own decisions, I can’t make them for him.

stayPositive890 · 2021-03-04T19:14:52+00:00

I always say this. If a man wants to leave, he will leave. Even if he remains there physically, he would no longer be present emotionally. There's nothing a woman can do when he's made up his mind.

I'm not a fan of mate-guarding. We should be committed to our partners, but give them the freedom to walk away. There's no point trying to force someone to stay when they'd rather stray.

MommyLovesTheBabies · 2021-03-04T20:34:50+00:00

You shouldn’t need to guard your partner. You and your partner should set boundaries yourselves and be responsible for avoiding inappropriate behaviors with others individually. If you feel the need to guard your man, there’s a problem with his behavior or maybe you have a problem with trust or insecurity. It’s not healthy to feel like your relationship is threatened by other people. If you’re both actually committed to each other , no other person is a threat.

spotted_kat · 2021-03-05T17:55:26+00:00

No, if you’re with a good man you won’t need to he is capable of setting boundaries.

I work with a LOT of men, many of whom are 15-30 years older than me. A lot of my job requires closed door conversations or 1:1 meetings. Most of these men are married. I’m married. We will end up spending a lot of time alone together because of the nature of the work.

Most men go out of there way to make sure IM comfortable, are genuine and respectful and the boundaries feel very natural. Many are chivalrous without an ounce of flirtation, and easy to talk and work with. The environment is professional. I can tell when they admire my beauty or get flustered or a bit distracted by it, but these are admirable men whose wives do not need to “mate guard” them because they guard themselves.

A few men will be visibly uncomfortable, crack jokes, leave doors open, I’ve even had one go refuse to ride in a vehicle with me alone. In those cases they are either heavily policed by their wife because they struggle to naturally implement boundaries or have a history of straying. They are trying so hard to police themselves because they don’t have good boundaries. In those situations I find I almost never naturally feel respect or admiration for the men and have to work to have high regard for them.

A few men have zero boundaries and will be inappropriate if given the opportunity and then I have to deal with it (and do vigilantly for the sake of my own reputation). Mate guarding won’t help a man anyway who is not interested in being committed to his wife/woman.

aussiedollface2 · 2021-03-06T04:30:41+00:00

There’s no harm in being sensible about things, ie. don’t hire a young live-in au pair who looks like a supermodel lol, but to actively have to mate guard your partner signifies to me that potentially there’s a lack of boundaries with the mans behaviour xo

sushi_30 · 2021-03-04T19:40:33+00:00

Mate-guarding your man reeks of insecurity which, hey, been there, lol. But is it something we should actively do? NO. A man should set boundaries with other women because, ahem, he's a grown ass man. If he can't do that, why would you want to be with him? That's beta bitch shit. We don't want betas.

Mate-guarding from men is different, but it comes from a place of protective love, not ownership. I mean, a little bit of ownership can be sexy, lol, but the foundation is the same: adults create boundaries with the opposite sex, then we communicate those with one another, adjust if needed or bounce.

lovetarie · 2021-03-04T15:15:31+00:00

What are some examples of behavior that would be considered guarding her man? While I definitely don’t think other female friendships is appropriate if we are in a committed official monogamous relationship leading to marriage... but I never heard of the term “guarding your man” May you explain? Thank u !

TwelthGate · 2021-03-04T20:46:26+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by mate guarding.

Obviously, no man wants an insecure or controlling wife. So in that sense, mate guarding would be a no no.

On the other hand I think some men do appreciate a little light-hearted posessiveness. If I'm at an event with my husband and he's talking to a pretty woman, I will probably cross the room and join their conversation for a moment. That kind of thing.

jayfactor · 2021-03-04T15:56:15+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Should you mate-guard your man?
Author	torowawei
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	March 4, 2021 2:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/lxm0g3/should_you_mateguard_your_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-you-mate-guard-your-man.752448 https://theredarchive.com/post/752448

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