Certain fan communities show how toxic relationships have been normalized amongst young women

Partypuppers · 2021-04-30T00:23:56+00:00

I also watched Shadow and Bone and had to take my younger sister aside to tell her that the way they depict the relationship between Alina and the Darkling is not ok and that it was a creepy dynamic. I found their kissing scenes soo awkward anyway as Ben Barnes is like 39 in real life and Jessie Mei Li is 25. They look years apart on screen and don't look like a good couple at all!

I'm glad they made her realise that he was an abusive asshole in the end. On the flip side I thought Mal was pretty HV, though in typical guy fashion I've heard men refer to him as a 'simp' 🙄

Give me a 'simp' over an abusive asshole anytime.

Edit: I haven't read the books so my opinion is based on my perception of the show only.

2021-04-29T21:37:30+00:00

[deleted]

CatSweets · 2021-04-30T02:04:25+00:00

Not really related to the topic of the post, but I was dying to comment here about Shadow and Bone because I identified Alexander was a villain right in the beginning, since FDS made me aware of his LV moves:

He takes Alina to his "special place" of when he was a child and tell sob stories about how he was sooooo cursed for being "related" to the black heretic, despite barely knowing her
He keeps telling her how he thinks she's special and they're destinated to do great things together
Flirts with her all the time then acts surprised when she kisses him
After he abuses her and takes control of her powers, he tries to justify it was for her best - and when she doesn't fall for his lies, he shifts the blame saying "fINe, Make me yoUr ViLlAIN ThEn" all teary-eyed, like, who are you trying to fool??

Thanks to FDS I can spot a LVM early even in fiction lol

astrawberryparfait · 2021-04-30T01:51:42+00:00

I'm so glad you brought this up about Shadow and Bone. Funny enough, I just spoke with my mother about all of this and we had an in depth conversation about everything from the nature of the relationship and the age gap of the actors. We were both appalled. Two very different generations of women are not having it with this series!!

I am a huge fan of Young Adult books but ever since I found FDS, it is increasingly difficult to find a book with an independent heroine who doesn't fall prey to some sad boy with a tragic past + inexcusable/abusive character traits the author has the audacity to call "charm". Ick. Bad Twilight vibes.

honumaluhia · 2021-04-30T00:41:55+00:00

PLEEEEAASE. I was thinking this all day and it bothered me so much.

The Darkling: is hundreds of years old, manipulates and gaslights Alina, uses Alina for her powers for his political gain, is a freaking narcissist, and is literally an evil villain who murdered thousands of innocents—but apparently it's HOT and SEGGSY?

They make attractive actors play abusive men to make it seem normal and audiences accept and overlook it because these men are good-looking.

This phenomena is societal gas-lighting of abusive men and a romanticization of toxic relationships. Growing up consuming media that teaches girls that this is desirable behavior from a romantic partner grooms them for future abuse.

Let me say it again: Our society is grooming girls for abuse.

shmarhar · 2021-04-29T23:03:55+00:00

Also see Twilight, 50 Shades of ~~Grey~~ Nope

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-04-30T00:31:24+00:00

Yes! I felt this way about Varrick and Zhu Li from Legend of Korra. He treated her like garbage for the entire season, and then when she finally stood up for herself, he proposed to her, and the show treated it like a happy ending. I remember throwing my remote at the screen and yelling “girl, he’s not coming around—he’s making a power move!” Christ on a Bike, why did every straight relationship on that show suck ass? The (male) writers even admitted that they weren’t planning to develop a romantic relationship between Korra and Asami (though they didn’t mind basking in the “woke points” when they did), they only did so because the audience hated all of the male love interests’ toxic behaviors, and having her remain single wasn’t an option (of course 🙄). It makes me sad to think that if the show was aired now, most the audience wouldn’t have a problem with the two male love interests’ behavior.

barmitzvahmoney · 2021-04-30T01:23:00+00:00

Lmao have any of you seen gossip girl

Title	Certain fan communities show how toxic relationships have been normalized amongst young women
Author	hedevaries
Upvotes	146
Comments	28
Date	April 29, 2021 8:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n1e1d7/certain_fan_communities_show_how_toxic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/certain-fan-communities-show-how-toxic.760191 https://theredarchive.com/post/760191

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