"I want a nice guy... As long as he has a good schlong!"

Sumpm · 2021-04-16T18:34:28+00:00

Assuming she doesn't have kids, I don't see a problem with this profile. She even has reasonable penis expectations.

bskeevy · 2021-04-16T15:23:20+00:00

What does she mean she doesn’t want anyone who’s been in SAG? I’d think anyone in the Screen Actors Guild would be kind of a catch.

me_at_myhouse · 2021-04-16T15:38:33+00:00

Plot twist:

She's describing herself.

Mundane_Worldliness7 · 2021-04-16T15:27:18+00:00

Don’t foreclose the possibility that she herself has kids though.

michael1962-01 · 2021-04-16T17:19:12+00:00

5" ? That's barely average?

xkulp8 · 2021-04-17T02:35:34+00:00

Remember, if she feels the need to list requirements that seem childishly simple to meet, there is a 100% chance she has fucked men who did not meet them.

2021-04-17T12:05:17+00:00

I'm in! should I cash her outtside?

ShuichiKazu · 2021-04-16T15:09:13+00:00

What does this marvelous tragedy of a woman has to offer except for her washed up cooch.

I mean a 5 in schlong doesn’t seem unreasonable and at least there isn’t a height requirement so any takers for this wonderful woman.

Oh who am I kidding she’s going to die alone when she can’t even use proper grammar.

Joaquino7997 · 2021-04-16T19:01:11+00:00

I think her profile would be far more appealing if she just had the words "don't message" in it.

TheIncredibleNurse · 2021-04-16T23:40:37+00:00

5 inches thats it, not a lot to ask

justvaporwave · 2021-04-17T02:41:30+00:00

MmmmHmm sistah go get you a KING... TUH!

kyledontcare · 2021-04-17T04:38:05+00:00

No grills? So she doesn't like BBQ?

tokixdoki · 2021-04-16T16:16:58+00:00

sounds like she’s been watching to too many music videos. liked everything but the bad cred that comes with it 🤣

Gaiinahat · 2021-04-17T02:33:18+00:00

Translation: I'm looking for a gang banger with several baby mommas who just got out of prision, with money enough to afford gold teeth, and not smart enough to outwit my 3rd grade education. Must also be big enough to fill this blown-out pussy that can't feel anything below 5 inches.

JohnnySkidmarx · 2021-04-17T02:40:54+00:00

My balls are sagging pretty low. Do you think I have a shot with her?

igotthedrops · 2021-04-17T16:39:20+00:00

This is super reasonable and do-able

What’s the catch?

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