(Might be a UK specialty) I briefly shared a house with a guy who fancied a mutual female friend. I have male friends but he and I never clicked.

In a group setting someone described her as “ginger”. Now, I and relations have similar colouring, we’ve all been bullied for it. I didn’t clock the comment it as an insult. But he leapt into defence mode -

Him : Hey, don’t call her that. She’s a redhead!

Me: Um, she’s still ginger. In fact, she dyes it a shade more than her natural colour.

Him: But she’s not “ginger” ginger.

I gave him some benefit of the doubt but eventually -

Me: Look, she’s fine and embraces it. The only reason you’re insistent is because “ginger” is code for a playground bully target, but “redhead” is a porn category and you want to fuck her.

What a double take. They eventually did date for a bit but she’s always laughed off the whole relationship. Anyone with or who knows someone with mixed race or black skin tones will easily recognise the “ebony” “chocolate” or coffee-related comparisons will know it. It can happen on both sides but it’s such a tell.