Inspired by an experience I had last Friday night. I went to a close friend's house for dinner and met her boyfriend for the first time. He was very personable, polite, friendly and easy to talk to. She's over the moon about him. Great, right?

Until I noticed that my friend was frequently going back and forth to the kitchen all evening, grabbing dishes, making drinks, serving sides, and this man never once offered to get up and give her a hand.

Later, after a few drinks, my friend confided in me that she's already told him she's in love with him (they've been seeing each other a few months) and he merely responded that his last relationship was ten years, so he can't say it back yet... even though he seemingly has no issues about it being 'too soon' to use my friend for sex, company, house dates, etc. You get the picture.

The moral of the story?

Don't be fooled by 'niceness'. Niceness is a superficial veneer and meaningless if there is nothing of substance beneath. It's easy to be 'nice.' Anyone can make pleasant conversation and actively not be an asshole for 3 hours. But true kindness is demonstrated through consistent actions over time.