Feels nice being a late 30s invisible MGTOW monk

burnett-lignon · 2021-05-28T19:38:06+00:00

I am 70, fast approaching 71, and I find life has gotten easier as time goes by. Things that used to worry or anger me mostly have no effect at all. I stay very busy working on house remodel projects, but know that I benefit from the experience more than the accomplishment itself. I have a small but valued group of friends and get joy from nature and animals more than anything else. Take care of yourself, particularly your health as you go your own way, and best wishes for a long and peaceful journey.

30203forever · 2021-05-28T20:09:02+00:00

I can definitely relate except I have 10 years on you. Totally invisible. Was walking from supermarket with my huge shopping backpack and the faces on those people in cars were like "poor guy, he doesn't even have a car and has to carry all that". Well, I call it "exercise". Plus, unlike those couch potatoes who live paycheck-to-paycheck and in the consumer debt up to their eyeballs (and that includes "their" cars), I'm financially-independent and do not even have to work. Actually, leaving my job in couple of months and moving down South. And all that because I made a fateful decision NOT to get married or even allow a camel into my tent 20 years ago. It's called "Going MGTOW" nowadays ;)

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-05-28T21:08:45+00:00

Very nice. Congrats on getting through the hard part. You sound at peace.

I think it's a great lifestyle (monk) and have been living it for many years myself.

p.s. The only caution I'd have is about the "invisible" thing. You probably aren't as invisible as you feel. You're actually at the period where most men hit their SMV peak. Women are still going to be interested in you.

orangekrush19 · 2021-05-28T19:05:13+00:00

This is all great to hear but personally I don’t like to read “my heart is now void of love”. I hope there are people in your life worthy of loving - family, friends, animals. Don’t let a rotten romantic relationship turn your life into complete detachment, just let it refocus who is worthy of your attention and companionship

InformalCriticism · 2021-05-28T21:30:35+00:00

I use the same language to describe a complete abandonment of social expectations for mating practices - peace and order. The opposite is handling the chaos and hostility of the sheer incompatibility between men and women.

I'm actually very disappointed that I never trusted myself in my adolescence. I would sometimes find myself telling people that I didn't think men and women were compatible and that I didn't believe in marriage, but I was under so much pressure to play the game that I had to learn the hard way that my instincts were right all along.

Philosophipster · 2021-05-28T21:51:11+00:00

Stealth is wealth. Same goes for all things you do. Focus on yourself, never reveal your intentions or wealth to anyone. It’s not strange to be a monk, yet invisible.

Used to be you had to be religious and find god to have that calmness at a monestary. Now you can just make your own money and be quasi-independent from society. In time you’ll find new passions to enjoy and new goals to attain ;)

Troutyorks · 2021-05-28T18:31:43+00:00

That’s been my life since birth

thegreyone3000 · 2021-05-28T19:39:05+00:00

This is the way

Wildhouse83 · 2021-05-28T21:51:55+00:00

Being invisible is far better than being a Chad/Tyrone.

ConvergenceMan · 2021-05-28T20:35:39+00:00

first clear signs of wrinkles on face. Attraction of youth starting to fade away. Basically walking outside and invisible.

I can just about guarantee you that it's not them that have lost interest in you.

It's you that have lost interest in them.

KING_CPB · 2021-05-28T22:26:37+00:00

There is no such thing as love. It's lust.

mchief101 · 2021-05-28T19:44:12+00:00

It took me 2-3 years to get over a heartbreak as well. I feel numb in accepting any feelings or emotions now. I wish u the best OP

Naus1987 · 2021-05-29T00:37:08+00:00

Being invisible is awesome, and so many people act like it’s a curse. I love being able to be me without worrying about others, lol.

My happiness is dependent on myself and not others.

UnearthlyDinosaur · 2021-05-29T03:21:45+00:00

I know what you mean about alternative reality.

The people who have kids and a family, I feel like they are a different species than me. I don’t know how they deal with that.

I also am glad I will never have feelings for a woman again. It sets you up for failure and getting used. When you’re MGTOW they cannot take advantage of you

Safe_Arachnid_5254 · 2021-05-29T06:03:46+00:00

I am too. I'm wrinkled and in my mid 30s. I'll look like Gordon Ramsay in the next 5 years if I don't do anything about it. I don't have any kids and never got married, though I had a playful engagement at one point.

I've spent the past decade traveling alone and have been all over the USA. Most of it was as a truck driver, a very solitary job, but I also had an RV and a camper van. Most of my dating consisted of talking to people via chat message through dating apps. We never video chatted, called each other, or met. Since I stopped traveling this year, I've banged about 20 different chicks. I would probably get laid at least once every 3 months when I was a trucker (or at least go to an AMP). I did go abstinent for about 2 years, though, but a lot of it had to do with depression and a relative's death.

I feel more calm, too. I've spent years just not giving a fuck about what I look like because I was so busy working. I'd go without shaving my beard for weeks and it's patchy as hell. I didn't even shower or change every day. I just got used to being in public as a probably ugly person, and still went and did whatever it was I wanted without fear or shame of how I looked or how I sounded. I was much more concerned with what I was doing.

I stopped traveling about 6 months ago. I've been working on my education and just chilling for the most part. I've spent most of it alone, a lot of it drunk, and some of it high. I don't feel depressed or lonely. I've played video games, worked a temp job, and lucked out and got about $40k plus unemployment and some other stuff. I haven't worked in months because I have so much savings and money coming in.

I've just been getting out more in my newly found relaxed state and just take my time when I do things now. Instead of ordering through the drive-thru, I'll go in and eat. If I go shopping, I'll take time to see if the clothes will fit. I try to stop and smell the flowers. I actually started doing this when I was traveling after I started getting into photography. I just started taking a bit more time to live in the moment instead of rushing through everything, life included.

I was heartbroken, too. It wasn't just from a woman, but that was a big part of it. A lot of it was childhood and life in general. It took a long time to get over it all, but I think I have developed some wisdom in the process.

I don't feel the need to be loved now, and I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. I do take care of myself better, though, and am trying to get as healthy as I was in my 20s. I eat a lot better and even got new clothes that fit well. I am working on my grooming and mental health, and got some vitamins and skin care medication. I think it will be a major confidence boost and recommend you do it too. Just do it for yourself and not to impress anyone else, especially women. I bought clothes I like because I think I look good in them. I want to feel confident and want other people to feel jealous because I look so good.

I'm just concerned because you sound like you're getting detached from reality, and that can be a big problem. If you disassociate too far you might get into an accident or worse. It's not a good way to deal with your problems, and I think your problems may have pushed you to detach a little too far. If you feel like you're that over women, then why not talk to some and see how you respond? If nothing else, just get some female attention. Even if it's from a massage parlor or an escort, it might loosen you up. You're just dealing with someone you hired for a service so who the hell cares what they think?

I want to mention that things with other people generally take place on a basic sensory level. How you look, what you sound like, how you smell, etc. These have nothing to do with who you are and can easily be changed. You could hit the gym, take steroids, get cosmetic surgery like botox, get speaking lessons, etc., and I'd recommend you consider doing them. It will be a major self-esteem boost, but you'll also come off to other people as who you really are (or really want to be). You spent a lot of time and effort on the sensory level to reach that, so I would think that's who you want to be. At least when you look in the mirror at night you see who you want to be and how far you've gone to work on it. That's something to be proud of.

Grandpa_MGTOW · 2021-05-29T00:09:36+00:00

MGTOW is freedom. MGTOW is peace.

Such_Temporary_9597 · 2021-05-28T18:38:31+00:00

PQF peace quiet freedom

Germantaffer · 2021-05-29T06:14:03+00:00

The strange thing is, even if I don't know you at all, I'm smiling now reading your lines and enjoy your excellent way. I read all this terrible postings here about human beings, who are exploiting m e r c y l e s s other people with high moral standards. I see, that you are safe now of those exploiters. You decided for a way without fast Dopamin, without any kind of drug. Of course it is sometimes boring, but it much better than being a mo*** searching for the next shot or getting some attention. Like a lab rat clicking desperately on the button to get more Dopamin. Congrats!

iamjesus1991 · 2021-05-29T07:04:05+00:00

I'm 30 and feel invisible. I've always felt this way. At first, especially in my teens, I hated it. Not anymore!

BubblyBath7 · 2021-05-29T08:14:14+00:00

Now is the perfect time to involve yourself with philosophy and come to conclusions about being (brings great change in perspective).

There is history, politics, great works etc to explore with your time! Hobbies you didn't know existed and are perfectly suited to your bodily gifts.

Classes to attend and connect to others through shared interests.

anthonyhceo · 2021-06-25T04:19:29+00:00

A few years ago, I had a nice chat with my 86 year old uncle, he went Monk and stayed that way. He had a couple kids that he didn't raise with floozies from bars, but otherwise, he was a lifelong bachelor. Confided in me that he's real lonely in his old age, feels he should have settled, if anything to have some company at home in his old age. Says it aint all its cracked up to be when you get past 75.

Speaking of which, I ought to pay him a visit, he lives 90 miles away from me. My Dad's been wanting to pay him a visit too, feels sorry that his brother stayed a bachelor and never settled down. My Dad said that back in their prime, my uncle would hook up with the easy ones, and/or the chubby ones, see them for a while, then skip town.

MASH12140 · 2021-05-31T10:59:04+00:00

Since being single I’ve saved huge amounts of money. By age 40 I will be in an amazing financial position. No more expensive dinners, handbags, birthdays and the rest of it. I have my own money to do what I want when I want. It’s such a freeing feeling.

[deleted] · 2021-05-29T16:56:58+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-05-28T18:38:35+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-05-28T21:30:28+00:00

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yamahantx700 · 2021-05-28T23:19:36+00:00

If your relationship was over 15 years long, a 3-4 year recovery is quite normal.

As for adapting, just create goals for yourself. This applies to anyone at any stage in life. Set short, medium, and long term goals. Update them as you achieve them. Without a challenge, there can be no reward.

somewherebeyond12 · 2021-05-29T04:51:36+00:00

I feel the same exact way. I screen shot this and will keep it in a safe place.

Weird how someone can feel exactly like how i do.

Calmness and peacefulness after a gut wrenching betrayal.

Flexed23 · 2021-05-28T23:14:09+00:00

What advice do you have for old age/retirement if you don’t get married/partner up with a female and have no children. I have a small family and I worry about years and years of lonely holidays, bdays, no real family to trust, lean on if I need help. At 43 I learned that you cannot simply count on friends to always be there, especially as they have families and responsibilities. Plus, people change. I don’t hang out with any of my HS and college crew anymore. We grew apart in our late 20’s and some were not the people I thought they were…selfish, not loyal…ect, I was adopted and I know when my 76yo parents pass away my extended “family” will not look for me or care where I am. They never treated me like the REAL blood family kids growing up.

I ask because how the country is going, in 25+ years there may be no $ for social security, Medicare and other services for the elderly who have no next of kin or spouse. And I work in healthcare and know how horrible people are treated in nursing homes. You need an advocate who is not paid to care about you. That only works if your looking for a prostitute. Lol.

And even if your elderly but, healthy how will U fill your days? I have volunteered with elderly who have no one and need companionship as it’s psychologically and they say medically helpful to have a companion opposed to being lone 24/7 365….and only interacting with people providing u services or your doctor. I went to a movie alone for the 1st and only time in 2010 after a break up with my first fiancé (had 3) and I felt like a lose, like everyone was staring at me. And I’m a good looking guy, ex personal trainer who still lifts hardcore and body builds…without my training I wouldn’t know what to do with myself the last 6 years after I broke up with my final fiancé. Doing things alone gets boring. Especially going out to eat alone…which I won’t do at a real restaurant. Who wants to order a $75 steak to go from a top steakhouse and waste that beautiful cow?

Maybe a MGTOW app like a dating app but, just for friendships? Or if u need a 2nd for dinner or a sporting event you can make it like Tinder. Sex optional. Lol hahaha. I couldn’t resist that last part.

Am i crazy to think this way? I do worry about my life when I get old enough to be called an old man. I have met too many lonely seniors who are miserable but, just grin and bear it. Plus, loneliness as you age can help accelerate dementia. Think about being alone with dementia. That scares me.

Chicxulub420 · 2021-05-29T00:02:11+00:00

I'm sorry about this man, things will get better for you

neil_anblome · 2021-05-29T01:33:02+00:00

I was on my own for a few months over lockdown and I didn't obtain serenity, more like cabin fever.

Title	Feels nice being a late 30s invisible MGTOW monk
Author	mg-tower2
Upvotes	1
Comments	63
Date	May 28, 2021 6:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/nn41pg/feels_nice_being_a_late_30s_invisible_mgtow_monk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/feels-nice-being-a-late-30s-invisible-mgtow-monk.799473 https://theredarchive.com/post/799473

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