25 year old male, still waiting for life to begin

SimplyKaz · 2020-04-15T23:14:11+00:00

Your life began 25 years ago. You're more than a quarter done already. You may dislike your life but you are living it. If you're not happy, change it.

Your phrasing makes me think you're waiting for that "lightning strike moment" where you'll suddenly feel like you're content with your life. If you do that, you'll be waiting a long time. You'll end up in your late 40s, with a dead-end job and no real direction in life. You'll be wondering what the fuck you did with the past 2 decades. You talk about "chore after chore with little gain". That's life, friend. Change is a gradual process; you don't just wake up one day a different man. You either put in the effort, or you settle for a life that's just "comfortable". Nothing more.

Think hard about what you want to do with your time and then plan for it. Work backwards from your goals until you know exactly what you need to do to get there. Then work at it every day. Just chip away a little at a time. Then one day in the future, after a lot of hard work, you'll realize that you're living the life that you want to live. But only if you put in the work, starting right now.

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

seven5four5 · 2020-04-15T20:29:25+00:00

I'm 30, I think a lot of it has to do with while growing up, your constantly being told, "you're special, you can achieve great things, you're not living up to your potential, if only you tried harder, etc." So I guess you kind of get this sense of entitlement that turns into resentment because most of us are average (duh) and busting our assess have only achieved an average lifestyle, which a lot of people feel is in decline. I went through this, especially after dropping out of college. I had so much resentment towards my parents and teachers. I kind of get into it every once and awhile still, but have to remember I have it pretty good as far as finances and assets go. My marriage is in the shitter right now, so maybe I can shed that lie as well and have a kind of renaissance. You have to find your truth and quit waiting for someone else's definition of life to fall in place.

justforanswersok · 2020-04-15T21:29:13+00:00

Makes you wonder why we were so anxious to grow up doesn’t it ? This is adulthood, welcome.

DangZagnut · 2020-04-15T20:14:03+00:00

I wonder when it's gonna happen or what it's gonna feel like. It seems a lot of people, male or female, are just miserable. It's hard to say exactly why.

Life doesn't begin, life stays exactly where it is. You have to put energy into the system for it to change. "adulthood" isn't something that you just graduate to. You've been that for 7 years.

If you feel stagnate and miserable. Change. There ya go.

My life isn't that bad, there are plenty of moments of happiness but in general it's a lot of working for that wage, social games and chore after chore with little gain even after 7 years of adulthood.

There you are. An adult. If you think it changes, it doesn't. You eventually reach a point where you stop being carded at a bar, but that's about it.

If you want change you have to supply it. It doesn't really matter what it is, whatever you want, the world is yours to explore.

daniellederek · 2020-04-16T01:14:24+00:00

Step 1. Pay yourself first

Step 2. If someone asks you to do something ask yourself. What is in this for me? Will I enjoy it? Will this favor be repaid?

Step 3. Never loan money without collateral. See step 1.

Step 4. Stop working for things. Too many people get hooked on things, then they need a bigger house garage, aircraft hanger to store things. Remember you only take up 12 sq ft when asleep.

Step 5. sleep, seriously sleep till you are rested.

Step 6. Eat real food. As in meat that you know where it came from and what it ate. Vegetables that still have dirt on them from being picked yesterday.

Step 7. Be active at least 4 times a week. Heart rate up 20 mins continuous , that's all it takes.

Step 8. Dont worry about anyone else's opinion ( unless they are paying you very well).

retal1ator · 2020-04-15T23:21:27+00:00

I'm 30 and I perfectly know what you are going through. I genuinely think that life is miserable, especially once you grow a little older and start to deeply understand how things work.

Your employer is literally stealing your best days from you for pocket money, the state is taxing you to pay for things and people you'll never interact with, and years start to fly by without you being able to catch up.

The reality is that most of us are destined to be average wage slaves, condemned to a life of mediocrity. And things have deteriorated a lot for the average joe in the last decades, both economically and socially. If you take out of the enjoyment of family or at least the mirage of it, there is little left.

The only way to push forward is to have a goal, a dream, something to keep you occupied and focused. For most people, a partner or a family are a great way of having a sense of belonging and if you want to go monk mode and avoid those things you have to work harder to find substitutes for it.

People need purpose and a sense of improvement otherwise they go crazy... probably the only cure for the modern world is going back to spending more time in touch with nature and slow down a little bit. If you're monk mode and don't want a family I think you'll benefit a lot from working part time and maybe moving out of the city.

kevisazombie · 2020-04-16T01:34:37+00:00

You need to find a life's purpose. A craft, a career, a hobby, an art form, start a business, break out of wage slavery, write a book, find something to work towards to leave a legacy in this world. Until you find that your purpose is finding it. Once you find your purpose you'll gain satisfaction from working towards it and have something to look forward too through the mundane times.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-16T08:58:32+00:00

Pursue excellence. Go after something difficult.

Put aside the quick dopamine fixes and pursue something that takes effort to achieve.

Sorry, that's all I got. Life will be boring if you live from one micro-dopamine-hit to the next. Even pulling hot women after a while can get boring - yes, even as a young beta-chad... "It almost happened to me!"

You have to go outside your comfort zones and push yourself to try something challenging. You need a challenge. One that will take months, or even a year or two to realize.

Don't do baby steps. Those are not for everybody. Sometimes a man needs a real challenge to rise up to.

901735 · 2020-04-16T09:39:56+00:00

25 year old male, still waiting for life to begin

And? When will you "begin" it?

ManOfHope567 · 2020-04-16T17:14:31+00:00

While waiting, I'd say enjoy it!

TomahawkSuppository · 2020-04-16T16:33:47+00:00

You don’t wait for lightening to strike. Only women do that and most of them sit around an whine about how their lives suck.

CaptainTarantula · 2020-04-20T14:40:52+00:00

Self improvement will really help your quality of life. If you want a purpose, teach other's what you've learned. You can also donate to charity, adopt a dog or cat, make masks, mow old people's yards, keep an eye on your neighborhood.

Konchdrone · 2020-04-20T14:54:05+00:00

I would suggest looking into stoicism or epicureanism as a starting point to changing your outlook on life into something more helpful. Like you, my life was stagnant until I was about 25, but then I turned everything around and got married etc. It wasn't the best move to get married, but at least I was able to move forward in some way. Rember that no matter what you do, you will die and lose everything you worked to acquire. Keep that in mind when deciding what kind of life you want to live. It's easy to be selfish and materialistic, hoarding reasources for yourself out of fear, but when you die what does it bring you?

Also, I would say that you shouldn't look to any one thing or person for salvation from your situation. Women come and go, and nobody cares more about your life than you. Check out George Bruno's YouTube channel for some inspiration.

Good luck.

Bourbonandcigars06 · 2020-04-21T04:00:30+00:00

This may be hard to hear but only you are responsible for you. You can chose to sit back and wait for some lucky opportunity to come your way. Others cannot provide you self fulfillment but can sure keep you down or try to take it away. You have to fight , people will try to hold you back, if you hold back you are already defeated

Truth be told, you- yes you are in charge of your future. Sit back if you want

Maybe military, college, tech school for side work, learn how to manage your finances, learn new skills at work and force yourself to be interested. When you show motivation, opportunities will find you. Take ownership of life and responsibilities

Am older and felt same when younger, went into Navy into very technical field, got out, got into computers and automation. Keep bettering yourself and challenging yourself. I give a lot of credit to military as I didnt know better before. It was military and work ethic, technical curiosity has led me to great career that actually enjoy

Don’t think others will take you by the hand without showing drive, without showing or wanting to contribute and help others achieve what they want

Once you show drive, responsibility and ownership, others will seek you out. In this path it’s led me to finding things that interest and challenge me. You can’t do that - watch me. Be responsible with your finances, always learn new shit, dont get anyone pregnant, don’t get married and invest your money.

Jnogrem · 2020-04-22T20:48:27+00:00

Don't wait for life.. go out and fucking take it.

TheApricotCavalier · 2020-04-23T05:32:39+00:00

> It seems a lot of people, male or female, are just miserable. It's hard to say exactly why.

Poor social environment. People can live through some truly dreadful physical environments if they have eachother; right now people live in an awesome physical environment & dreadful social one.

I think its generally agreed that social isolation is a growing problem, my personal theory on the why is that the well is being poisoned. People today are pretending to be your friend for personal gain (gold diggers the most famous example, but not the only one) & making it harder to find someone. Also, people are just kind of...worse, in general

>Any older guys who have advice on where to begin?

Get money is the only advice I can give. It won't fix your problems; but without it your problems wont get fixed.

MGTOW_BEASTMODE · 2020-04-16T16:08:11+00:00

Born
School
Work
Retire
Die

That's it basically for most men.

I got out at the near end of my life but I'm still financially free and happy!

akihonj · 2020-04-16T07:53:28+00:00

A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.

Stop sitting around waiting for your life to begin, do that and it will be over before you've even had a chance to start it.

Take this time to think of the things you want to do, set plans in motion to start doing them and then when this is all over and life returns to normal carry out those plans and stop at nothing, do what you have to do to see those plans through.

It's really simple, do you want to learn to fly a plane, well what do you need, money and a teacher.

Use this time to research how much it's going to cost, how you'll get that money together where the nearest class and teachers are etc.

When this is over get it booked and do the course and get your pilots license.

Nobody is going to write you a letter asking if you want one and then send it to you, you have to do the work yourself.

Glenduil · 2020-04-15T20:38:39+00:00

Go find it. By the time I reached 18, I’d already lived in 3 states. Then I went to college and joined the Navy.

Life will never find you. Life is simply a condition of living. If you want adventure, you have to go get yourself one. The military worked for me (college didn’t but I went back much later).

BlackSandstone · 2020-04-15T21:53:15+00:00

Without a higher purpose clear in your mind, the everyday and mundane will naturally fade and lose its flavor. The only thing I can suggest is you take a few days - maybe a few weeks - to study from great thinkers and writers, see what shapes of higher meaning you can recognise, and pursue one of them.

It's the odd situation of having achieved both stability and self-sufficiency, the question becomes now what? - a question wise minds have burnt themselves out trying to answer, and one that few people can even afford to ask in the first place thanks to burdens of children (and women).

At the moment, mine is "turn what has happened to me, and what I have outlived, to the benefit of my fellow men", which in practical terms is funding food banks and helping out the Covid situation as & when I can.

oodtoon · 2020-04-15T22:38:02+00:00

I was in a similar situation to you and I actually stumbled upon Jordan Peterson. He’s a psychologist and he sheds light on proper values in life and how you should conduct your life. He’s got great lectures on YouTube. Very helpful and insightful.

Take responsibility for yourself and that will immediately give your life meaning. It’ll help you figure out what adventure you want to do too. Clean your room. It’s no joke, man.

[deleted] · 2020-04-16T00:42:34+00:00

[removed]

redditloginfail · 2020-04-16T00:51:32+00:00

I think it's normal to feel like that at your age. It's part of the instinct to expand human territory i guess.

People feel like BIG things should happen or life is passing them by. I had a lot of big, crazy changes go on in my life prior to 25. It stressed me terribly. I think i aged about 100 years from age 18 to 38.

I'm not saying stay in a rut, but FOMO can lead people to stupid decisions as well.

Since you're young and don't have obligations tying you down, maybe purse volunteer opportunities in causes you believe in.

mutageno · 2020-04-16T09:35:02+00:00

Start thinking about long term goals. Also spend time with family and friends. Talk more to your grandparents. Ask them things.

Assuming you are western, Stoicism helps a lot. An easy start is Daily Stoic but the old works are even better.

GulfCoast_Ty · 2020-04-16T03:26:24+00:00

I'm 34 and I feel the same, I keep telling myself maybe I'll feel more complete if I do xyz. Maybe if I travel some, did that went to Japan in 2016 and been traveling around the US since 2018. Maybe if I get my dream car, did that I been driving it for 2 yrs now. Maybe if I buy a house, did that this past November and I still feel like something is missing so next is trying to find a job I'll be happy with but it feels like I'm never going to be satisfied.

I'm currently not working bc of work place issues and Covid-19 so I'm trying to reflect and find out what I want out of life and I'm drawing a huge blank.

MoneyJunkiesRus · 2020-04-16T04:12:16+00:00

Try to minimize your expenses and live more cheaply (thus freeing yourself from working more hours). Then you can pursue more of your hobbies (which I recommend being more outdoors hobbies) . Your hobby can absolutely be rebuilding and reselling computers but don't be trapped inside 24/7, it's not healthy for you.

Garage sales sell items for sometimes over 50% off in many times near mint condition.

JackSkell0255 · 2020-04-16T05:39:00+00:00

You begin with yourself.

I’ve read a couple of your replies. Look at your life from above, like it is not your own, like standing up two stories looking looking down at yourself.

What do you see? I might see somebody spending the best hours of the best days of the best years of their life not fully maximizing their time. I have done that – I have tread water, going nowhere, achieving nothing, barely barely keeping my head above water.

I am in my very late 40s. I tell the young people that I work with that they have to live life like a shark – always moving forward, in their career, in their life, and in their investment in themselves.

Part of the reason that you feel this way is that you do not have a life plan. Where do you want to be in 40 years? What needs to be in place 20 years from now to make that happen? What needs to be achieved in 10 years to make the 20 year goal? What do you need to do for the next five years? What do you need to do tomorrow?

You may fail at your goals, but in producing movement, you are already ahead of the game. Ignore the things, and the people, that would keep you from achieving your goals. Screw the “social games”.

If you burden yourself with a woman, with children, with a mortgage or other debt, you make it really hard to achieve movement or even keep your head above water.

In 20 years, you may not choose to remain MGTOW, But but failing to follow these basic tenets make it impossible to achieve success, and you take unnecessary risk as well.

People who take no responsibility or agency for their own lives are the same people that says “life happens“. Don’t have life happen to you – make life happen FOR you. Your life can serve you, or it can serve others.

Always be moving, always be improving, always be planning. The 50 year life – coasting plan is dead. Seize life by the throat and get the success and contentment that you earn and deserve.

proactive-defense · 2020-04-16T05:52:45+00:00

It's your life, what do you want to do with it? What do you think will fulfill you?

Material objects probably aren't it. What do you consider as "gain"?

[deleted] · 2020-04-15T20:14:25+00:00

[removed]

25 year old male, still waiting for life to begin

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Title	25 year old male, still waiting for life to begin
Author	Frinkst21
Upvotes	22
Comments	50
Date	April 15, 2020 8:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/g1zoft/25_year_old_male_still_waiting_for_life_to_begin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/25-year-old-male-still-waiting-for-life-to-begin.808823 https://theredarchive.com/post/808823