I could use a little encouragement to take the first step.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-02-22T17:58:01+00:00

If she really wanted you to stay, then she'd stop dishing out crap to you. Don't for a minute think she's going to do that long term. She only wants you to stay because she doesn't have a Plan B. Yet.

I finalized my divorce 3 years ago after initiating it. I've been a happy man since. My only regret is not doing it sooner.

Important_Entrance_7 · 2021-02-23T03:52:58+00:00

Agreed. Do it when your ready or you will reconsider and stay for another year or two and she will do it on her terms. The older you get the harder it is to restart on the other side.

MartyMcFly7 · 2021-02-22T18:52:02+00:00

I wish my wife was begging me to stay. It's a real blow to the ego to be married for 25+ years and have them fall out of love with you. But I can understand why she did (we've really grown apart over the years and it's difficult to appreciate each other).

If you haven't tried couples therapy, you could give it a go just to see if it changes anything. If not, you can easily walk away knowing you tried.

But every situation is different, so you have to judge for yourself whether or not you think the grass really will be greener on the other side.

sicrm · 2021-02-22T19:35:46+00:00

did you just pick a lawyer or did you sit down and have a discussion about what a divorce would actually look like?

also consider asking your lawyer about a post-nup, how effective they are where you live, and if they’re still hold up if you get divorced right away.

Third_Eye78 · 2021-02-23T03:07:56+00:00

I told my common law wife a month and a half ago but I had been thinking about it for 3 years. A young child kept me around longer than it should have been but it was a really tough decision. I got tired of being miserable at home and now I’m a lot happier. Life is short man, time to get back to being happy.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-02-23T23:50:45+00:00

I'm finalizing my divorce. My wife desperately wants to keep me for sure.

She doesn't want to behave differently, however. She wants me to change to accept

her behavior, because she isn't doing anything wrong in her mind. 95% of the time I'm totally miserable with her, fighting constantly (she has Borderline PD).

I can tell you that being alone is 1000% better than being with her. I'm lonely, but I'm not miserable and constantly stressed out by whatever she's doing to get attention that minute.

voyagerblue · 2021-02-23T03:12:55+00:00

Who cheated?

TubeToUranus · 2021-02-25T01:42:17+00:00

Do you have kids? If not, just do it. If so, think about your kids.

capn_KC · 2021-02-23T01:32:26+00:00

Read Divorce Remedy. Put your passions on hold. We don’t begin a marriage just to end it.

Title	I could use a little encouragement to take the first step.
Author	PushinNShovin
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	February 22, 2021 5:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/lpuvbm/i_could_use_a_little_encouragement_to_take_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-could-use-a-little-encouragement-to-take-the.817395 https://theredarchive.com/post/817395

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