RPW, how many of you are ex-feminists?

porcellus_ultor · 2014-01-28T23:05:34+00:00

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Bakerofpie · 2014-01-29T01:34:14+00:00

I used to be in a very passive way, but I don't think it was a conscious choice. Every single person around me was (except my father), so I thought that's just how things are. As I grew up I was very unhappy, and after awhile started trying to find a solution. I found married man sex life and started there, eventually reading other material as well. At first I was offended, but once it sunk in I could see the truth in it.

I feel embarrassed by my previous self. I was (and in many was still am) bitchy and entitled. I'm shocked my husband didn't leave me, and married me no less.

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-29T01:40:09+00:00

I was a pseudo-feminist for about five minutes. Haha. I'm still about choice, but that's the only part I relate to at all. I think it's great that women have the option to get an education, to work or not work, to vote, and to have the same basic legal rights as men. That's where it stops for me. The women who fought for those things already won... What is feminism fighting for now??? For us to be literally equal to men in every way? Not going to happen, and thank god for that.

I fell into a trap of making friends with some feminists and that was what first got me started thinking about it. My hubby broke me of that reeeeeal quick, though.

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-29T02:07:37+00:00

reformed feminist here! Raised by a feminist Mom to never depend on a man! I found the Red Pill by way of Return of Kings and was at first offended. BUT, once I really considered what the articles were saying, I had to admit, there was something to it. I feel really badly about the way I treated my husband and I'm grateful that he stuck with me. I have three young sons and I hope A LOT more people take the red pill before they are out there looking for a wife. It really is seeing the way young girls are being brought up today that has made me so opposed to feminism and become more accepting of the Red Pill.

morganlane · 2014-01-29T02:12:36+00:00

Ex-feminist checking in. In true solipsistic fashion, I previously saw gender-based oppression only through the eyes of myself and my own gender. I liked to think that I understood that men were oppressed as well, but not nearly as much as women. I realize now that is entirely untrue.

I do believe women have historically been oppressed, and while the rise of feminism granted women the legal equality they deserved, it also caused a huge ripple-effect that has damaged men and women alike. Thus, we're left with the mess that is the whole reason RP even exists.

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-28T22:48:44+00:00

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FleetingWish · 2014-01-29T02:17:22+00:00

I don't think I ever called my self a "feminist", but I definitely let sink in the things that feminists were saying. In particular, looks shouldn't matter. I wasn't attractive and I knew it. The thing was though, looks don't just matter to men, they mattered to me. I always thought less of myself because of the way I looked, and thought my life was destined to mediocrity.

throwaway_redpill2 · 2014-01-29T22:52:39+00:00

I still consider myself "feminist," if you can even call it that, in that other women are very free to do what they want to do - cut their hair short, be all butch, ride on the carousel for years, whatever. I'm not going to bother trying to infringe on their rights to do so. What happens when they hit the wall is their business. Does that count?

I've also always strongly felt for the right for women to be... well, women. If I'm not complaining about a "strong independent woman" 's choices in life, she has no right to judge or shame me if I aim to take a few years off my lucrative career to raise children, and if she does, she will absolutely be judged and shamed by me in return.

Where does that put me? Exactly where I started out as a young girl, to be honest. No change in viewpoints. I'm pretty laissez-faire about many things, and I just now have the vocab to describe how I feel.

2014-01-29T08:04:10+00:00

I was feminist the way lots of other apolitical people are. Just sort of accepted feminism as good, without thinking. But several things, including manosphere and various people I met, proved that feminism was about more than legal equality, and has a massive dark side.

drop_commentator · 2014-01-29T15:21:24+00:00

I used to be a super-embarrassing tumblr feminist.

I see it on one hand as part of growing up on the internet and being all young and impressionable-like. I was not very strong at thinking for myself at the time I discovered tumblr and its bizarre brand of social justice.

On the other hand, it's pretty unfortunate because I feel like it socially stunted me in a lot of ways and really annoyed the people around me--I lost a lot of friends and missed out on potential friendships, especially starting college, because I was so miserable to be around (such was the extent of my feminism, even 'average' people who generally support feminism couldn't tolerate me!)

Well, the damage is done and that's that. Now I'm sort of repairing my personality I suppose, trying to become an interesting person without falling back on the rude, entitled way of behaving that came with that phase.

Nonmedicated · 2014-01-29T00:14:30+00:00

I still identify as a feminist. I pm'd a mod before posting in here since I have happily chosen a traditional marriage setup and this subreddit has been suggested to me in the past. The mod said I was welcome as long as I followed the rules of the subreddit, and I hope I'm not breaking the rules by answering this question directly.

DelphineSerafine · 2014-01-29T03:16:30+00:00

I was a full-on, women are oppressed, I don't need a man in my life, and I will never give up my life, my choices, my way for a man, jeans and sweatshirt with sneaker wearing, feminist/feminazi.

Growing up, I'd always been taught to be ultra independent, taught that I never ever had to get married if I didn't want to, and if a man, with whom I was in a committed relationship with tried to have any "influence" over my career, to dump him immediately.

Then, I met my now-husband. And well, I look back on the way I used to behave, and I cringe at how selfish I was; how it was always all about me, and any partner was sidelined, and decisions were made for me and not for us.

Nowadays, I have the feminine hobbies and interests, I have my not so feminine hobbies and interests, but I also put my husband first. Decisions are no longer "what's best for my career?", but "what's best for our family?", and I defer to what my husband thinks is best for our family, for us.

margerym · 2014-01-29T00:25:10+00:00

Yup. A lot like you were, too.

MrsStrom · 2014-01-29T13:48:04+00:00

Well, if by feminist you mean that women deserve basic human rights like the right to be physically safe, the right to free speech, the right to own property, and the like, then yes. I am a feminist. But if you mean that all men are evil rapists and must be kept down in order to raise women up and that femininity is weakness then no.

I also believe that women have the right to choose to have a career, and that she also had the right to "suffer" the consequences of those choices. Marriage, children, career: pick two.

drugdoctor87 · 2014-01-29T15:15:40+00:00

I used to be a "feminist". I even cut my hair short (worst mistake ever) and was lazy (gained a few pounds). This was after a pretty bad break-up so around ages 19-21. It also didn't help that I live on an incredibly liberal campus.

I was rejecting my feminine side, but to be fair, I was a late bloomer.

During this time, I was also depressed. I couldn't understand why guys wouldn't just accept me "the way I am".

Then I grew my hair out, started working out, starting realizing the value in paying $$ for good, feminine clothing. And then I started actually getting interest from guys that I was attracted to, and my depression and feminist viewpoints melted away.

Hard work pays off, now I'm in a very happy, successful LTR with a man that is perfect in my eyes.

TL;DR - as a feminist I was unhappy and depressed. Starting accepting that being feminine is good and that I truly am attracted to men that act like "captains" in the relationship.

2014-01-29T15:22:06+00:00

Ugh I am! My mother is a mysogynist feminazi. I'm sure it will take me years to deprogram myself from these thoughts but I'm on my way! My mother had her heart broken and turned into a cold shell of a woman. She hates men in general and especially my father, her ex husband. She recently flat out said her career was more important than raising her three kids. Mind you she has always hated her job and not been all that great at it anyway. But I guess it made her feel 'successful' in a masculine way. I found the red pill on my own after several weak relationships, I started questioning who I am and what I want. I was told I should have my own career, money, and life independent of a man. Lame! I want a husband, kids, a home, and a fully stocked kitchen so I can cook amazing food all day! Oh and a garden! I wish I'd grown up with this mindset, I'm 27 and I hope it's not too late for me to find the man I want.

Akordia · 2014-02-14T16:24:36+00:00

I was a feminist until I learnt what the word meant...I was heartbroken to learn it did not mean one who embraces her feminine side.

2014-01-29T04:59:17+00:00

I was feminist until I got with my current SO. Then, he showed me TRP (a subtle hint that he didn't like my feminism) and asked me what I thought about it. True to my usual vague self, I simply said, "It was interesting." Let it sink in for a while and then started rooting around for more info. I reformed quickly considering I always questioned feminism a little.

Now, the reasons I was feminist: (WALL OF TEXT COMING UP)

1. My mother.

My mom, from a young age, started telling me that men were awful and that I needed to avoid them at all costs. She even recommended I become a lesbian and also recommended Hooters to make money in college (granted, I would totally have the physique for it). She had her reasons (my dad and younger brother), which I completely understood.

It took a lot of time for me to realize she was wrong.

2. My friends

My friends were all feminists and hardcore so. None of them (except one) had a boyfriend, but that one also put out fairly easily. For a long while, I didn't either after breaking up with a psychotic ex. They influenced me to continue to stay in their little "single ladies" misery circle until I got a much more real boyfriend (a hardcore alpha). Boy, did I begin making unconscious changes to RP behaviors! And it really screwed them up.

3. My hardcore alpha ex

I fell deeper into feminism with my ex. Despite the fact he was really hardcore alpha, he didn't like the idea of me being super feminine and wanting to be a housewife for him eventually and all of that. He didn't like the idea of me wanting to take care of him when he got sick. He was very DIY and goal-oriented.

His behavior totally threw me off and drove me deeper into feminism because I thought I was being "weird" and "wrong" for wanting to have a traditional relationship. After he broke up with me because he couldn't "see me" enough (a.k.a. we couldn't have sex), I lost it. I was boiling with rage AND sadness even though I didn't let him know.

I stayed highly feminist until my SO.

4. Tumblr

Tumblr feminists. What else do I have to say?

These ladies also drove me to start renouncing feminism, though. I started to see the errors and insanity, which is part of what drove my SO to show me TRP.

pinkantlers · 2014-01-29T09:58:35+00:00

Yep! I used to be a feminist, but I think the 'feminazis' that people fear are few and far between tbh. Now I'd probably describe myself as pro-womens-rights, rather than an 'active feminist', as I do believe there are a few areas where women do get a raw deal, especially in other parts of the world, and I have and still do work on campaigns against rape and domestic violence (against both sexes!). However, I really don't want to discuss that here, it is not appropriate and I don't want to be at loggerheads with the rest of the RPW ladies.

I'd like to add though, I agree with most stuff that RPW says about relationships. Being an idealist about the world as feminism encourages made me incredibly unhappy. I was miserable, and saw misery everywhere, that I couldn't do anything about. Now I'm trying to be more of a realist, including about relationships, and my place in the world. I'm happier and am doing really well. Hope that makes sense :)

I came to RPW partly because online feminist communities made me feel ashamed for wanting the type of relationship I do, and wanting to make my man happy. I think that says a lot.

Title	RPW, how many of you are ex-feminists?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	66
Date	January 28, 2014 10:37 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1wes11/rpw_how_many_of_you_are_exfeminists/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/rpw-how-many-of-you-are-ex-feminists.84206 https://theredarchive.com/post/84206

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