And she wonders why none of the males in our friend group take her seriously. [slight rant]

HappySnowGirl · 2014-06-20T16:47:36+00:00

I'm not denying the benefits of youth, but stuff like this makes me so glad that I'm an old married lady with other old married lady friends.

eatplaycrush · 2014-06-20T17:54:00+00:00

Yeah. This is why I'm 22 and have had one genuine female friend since I've basically been with my SO. I dropped all other friends because of this exact reason. I may be young, but I am not mentally young and I could not stand being associated with people who have the complete opposite values and goals. I care about my family and being financially successful in our unit, but they care about hooking up and wasting away their youth with that type of stuff and partying.

I feel very lucky to be where I am. It's fine to judge your friends. It's fine to let them know exactly how you feel. The real friends will standing out after that. I understand not everyone my age wants to drop that, but those people aren't an asset to your life or your current/future partner's life. I only want assets and only one female out if everyone I've ever known proved that.

2014-06-20T22:05:54+00:00

k, if you have a tendency to "whoops, fell on another penis that I didn't really want to!" while you're drunk, you need to quit drinking >.>

This whole "I was drunk!" avoidance of taking responsibility for your actions needs to go, go, go. Plis.

m_sobol · 2014-06-20T17:03:54+00:00

Judge her, but you don't have to condemn her publicly. We should judge people not out of malice, but to weed out the fools from poisoning our lives.

Is she the type of person you want to associate with? 4 guys?! I'd say the chance of social circle drama blowing up is high.

I'd distance myself from the explosion. Two steps back, one step forward, and you'll be far away while she won't even notice. Text her less and stay busy, but sometimes invite her out for casual coffee.

gabilromariz · 2014-06-20T17:09:16+00:00

Being rp while young and in college can be pretty lonely, i know those feels :)

It's hard to see people you love make mistakes when you know what's the right thing to do and want to help. Try to think of it like the hardships of motherhood, at least it's what my mom tells me when my sluttier friends bum me out

When you see a baby lunging in for a mistake you want to pick him up and go "no, stop eating dirt". But how else is he supposed to know dirt tastes terrible? Try to make sure the baby doesn't get hurt but they need space to make their own mistakes

When they see the error of their way and how you're not doing it, they'll come for advice, it's part of growing up. That said, I'm sorry your friend hasn't grown up that much yet to see her own wrongdoings

Maybe try the "what do you want from life?" talk when she's ready. Until then, try to listen and make her reflect on what she did. Stuff like "how did that feel?" or "How are you feeling now about what you did last night?" until you get the answers you're looking for or she asks you for advice.

Bakerofpie · 2014-06-20T18:28:39+00:00

I don't care how many people my friends sleep with or judge them if they want to go slutting around, but this is just silly high school BS.

SQQQ · 2014-06-20T18:40:42+00:00

the take away here is that your guy friends arn't stupid. they are happy to bang her for fun n invite her to parties. but deep down they all know the real slut that she is.

just make sure u don't end up like her

IllDoMyBest · 2014-06-21T16:51:50+00:00

There is good advice in the comments here; I agree that it could be nice to tell her about your dislike of her behaviour in matters such as this. It can be tough, but since you consider making it more clear that she shouldn't come to you and talk about such things then it might be what's necessary. Who knows, maybe she will take it to heart if she cares greatly for you? From the way you talk about her in your comments, you seem to care greatly for her. If it goes wrong, then she's probably not a person worth keeping in your life.

I've been in somewhat similar situations myself, so I'll tell you what I did - the outcome was what you fear, however. I don't know if it'll be of any use to you, but at least I tried to share my experience :)

1: I was good friends with a girl in my early teens, and I cared very much for her. One day she asked "Guess what I did?", and for some reason I knew she'd lost her virginity. We were about 14-15; I didn't celebrate it, but tried not to be dismissive since she was a good girl. It all went downhill from there. I wasn't strong enough to tell her "I don't want to be friends anymore", so instead I gradually stopped contacting her.

2: About 17, best friends since about 14, known each other longer. We were opposites in terms of goals, values etc., but I still cared GREATLY for her and we were genuine friends. She knew what I thought of sexual promiscuity, and was ok with that. Then things started happening, and one incident in particular made me reconsider our friendship (betrayal of trust etc.). While these things happened I met my SO, and it was as clear as day that she wanted him, too (we weren't together yet, and I can't blame her). I eventually cut her off in a similar way as with #1 after talking with SO about whether or not she should be part of our lives.

DanteAmaya · 2014-06-20T17:24:22+00:00

I'll be damned if I didn't lay down the law a few times with my friends who needed to hear the truth. Your passive responses to her antics are only seen as encouraging. You're playing up to her emotions, encouraging her to talk about it.

My friends know when they talk to me that I'm going to be honest and completely judgemental if it's about something like this. And I expect the same from my friends. Who else is going to give you the harsh truths if not your friends?

Just looking at that one screenshot, i would honestly be wondering why she is sharing her exploits with me? What does she want to hear? What is she looking for? Validation. I don't take shit tests from my friends. She obviously came to her own conclusions with much help from you, but you missed an opportunity to go: "OMG! Did you use protection?!?! What if he took pictures!?!?"

Maybe I'm wrong here, but she doesn't sound like a friend you want to have if all she's going to do is look to you for validation.

2014-06-20T18:38:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

proprioceptor · 2014-06-20T20:07:59+00:00

You shouldn't be having to do this much damage control. Has she put you in a position like that before?

aaron_the_just · 2014-06-23T21:18:42+00:00

Geez. Even the thirstiest of guys know better than to try to sleep with all the girls in their social group.

venusfelix · 2014-06-20T20:45:47+00:00

What is she bringing to your relationship? I am not saying she is an evil person, but it is unlikely that she has other behaviors you want to emulate. Doesn't seem like someone I would want to have close to me.

2014-06-20T21:52:28+00:00

At 19, I'm just lucky all of my friends are virgins purely because of crap attitudes (except for one who has a heart condition and the other who's very self-conscious) so I don't have to deal with this kind of bull from them, otherwise I'd have to do some serious work not to call them out on that kind of thing.

Better approach is the gentle approach when dealing with this kind of behavior. Slipping some RP subtleties in there all while reminding her she's not a horrible person just so her feelers won't be hurt.

Unless it happens too often and you're just tired of that. In which case, feel free to move on and find a new friend.

Bbyybbbaby · 2014-06-20T22:29:18+00:00

Yeap. This is why my only friend is my sister and another couple.

May I ask why you are still friends with her?

2014-06-21T05:53:00+00:00

Hey I'm 21 too. This can be rough as our generation has been raised with extreme feminists. I have a friend kinda like this too. Well she's more of an acquaintance. The only real female friend I have is 29 and married like I am. It's hard not to judge because you see the effects. I'm pretty brutally honest with those who know me (probably why I don't have many female friends) and I tell this acquaintance "Hey you're dressing kinda slutty, I don't think this will attract the kind of guy you want. The people who will respect you want that not every guy gets to see what should be for your husband only." She meets people she's met online, long distance, saying they are her boyfriend. She's not very realistic, she's 27 now and has been around. And she's a pastor's daughter. Its like she's still a rebelling teenager. I just don't understand. I mean it's hard not to judge on what someone wears because that is something they put on, a choice on how to appear to the world. Your friend who sleeps around is also giving out the appearance she's a slut and will most likely be treated like one .

alcockell · 2014-06-21T21:45:51+00:00

Guy here

I have the very track for you to recommend to her...

BBC4 had a Billy Joel night last night... and this was part of his set. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KkJAsB9rQI Billy Joel - Big Shot.

God - reminds me of the idiots I was looking after at college balls I worked at back in the 90s. 5 years in St John Ambulance means you learn a lot.

Title	And she wonders why none of the males in our friend group take her seriously. [slight rant]
Author	wearing_yoga_pants
Upvotes	12
Comments	36
Date	June 20, 2014 4:31 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/28nhso/and_she_wonders_why_none_of_the_males_in_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/and-she-wonders-why-none-of-the-males-in-our.84604 https://theredarchive.com/post/84604

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