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MensLib goes full misandrist (once again), ignores that the majority of domestic abuse is perpetrated by women.

Atchoum150

March 11, 2020
235 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/fgf0h5/patriarchy_and_power_how_socialisation_underpins/
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Post Information
Title MensLib goes full misandrist (once again), ignores that the majority of domestic abuse is perpetrated by women.
Author

Atchoum150

Upvotes 235
Comments 47
Date March 11, 2020 2:50 PM UTC
(6 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/fgybga/menslib_goes_full_misandrist_once_again_ignores/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/menslib-goes-full-misandrist-once-again-ignores.857069
https://theredarchive.com/post/857069
Red Pill terms in post
feminism
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Comments

[–]BornFreeWE 60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Male Feminists are worse than female (there are many good though).

Simple reason: They want to impress the female feminists with 'how good they follow the agenda/narrative'. To do that they push other men down, badmouth men. With that they validate the misconceptions female feminists have about men/ men's issues.

Instead of offering a male perspective they just say yes to every prejudices.

They do a great disservice for men AND equality.

[–]5c0rp10_191 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

most of these poor fools are just leaves caught in the wind.

[+]malachai926 -50 points-49 points-48 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Um, no. They do it because they actually believe in it, not to impress women. Believe it or not, some people do things for reasons other than trying to get into someone's pants. Not that I expect people with the maturity of a teenage boy to understand that, though.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Um, no. They do it because they actually believe in it, not to impress women.

Then that's even more pathetic, listening to someone with male guilt oozing from every orifice and spiking their evangelical-like preaching.

[+]malachai926 -15 points-14 points-13 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

No, what's pathetic is you putting your selfish nature on display and demonstrating how little you understand the concept of empathy, that you think people support the rights of women because of some sort of self-flaggelation rather than because they simply want what is best for others. Honestly it's incredibly telling and not unsurprising to see a men's right activist struggle so mightily in understanding a concept like empathy. That's pretty much exactly why you and your movement have become an absolute joke.

[–]SJimPickins 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

so where is your empathy for men's issues? Glass houses.....

[+]malachai926 -11 points-10 points-9 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Hard to care about dirty dishes in the sink when your house is on fire.

[–]RacelessSexlessName 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Welcome to the Moron tag. "Wahmens have it worse" people can suck my dogs dirty asshole.

[–]WorldController 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You don't come off as an empathetic person at all. In fact, you're extremely haughty and abusive. It appears you're just paying lip service to empathy here for ideological reasons. Like a typical fauxgressive, you are just politicking.

[–]malachai926 -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Bullshit. Progress in politics will always come at the expense of others. The point is to identify who can take the expense and who needs help the most.

[–]WorldController 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That just confirms my point, doesn't it? You don't care about empathy or integrity. All that matters to you is your political bottom line. You're just politicking.

[–]SJimPickins 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

no no, you are having a go at someone in their own specific sub and demanding empathy for your political and social ideology while exhibiting none yourself.

Its like going onto a Bernie Sanders sub and demanding respect for Trump in their own sub when you are the outsider and invader of their space

[–]BornFreeWE 33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Believe it or not, wanting to impress someone (eg. teacher, parents, supervisor, groupleader) does not equal 'to get into someone's pants'.

Strange that YOU make this connection and accuse ME of that.

[–]random_tripper_ 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The two things aren't mutually exclusive. Wanting to please an authority figure you respect doesn't make it bad motivation either.

I do see plenty of people on MensLib in that thread calling out the tones of the article and noting that it does erase DV where women are the instigator. Honestly, the biggest problem I have with how it's been censored. There was a really good discussion going that had users calling out either op, or one of the other people in favor of the article. The person defending the article got pretty ad hominem and was lumping all men into a bucket. I'm reasonably certain the mod posts saying those things were directed at guy defending the article.

It frustrates me that they delete those posts because it's really indicative of the infantilization of women coming from many feminists (particularly male). I'm pretty sure that protective stance coupled with insisting women can't be abusers (or their abuse is a result of 'masculine' traits being assumed), is sexist towards women. It really is pretty indicative of the attitude of "patriarchy" (hate this term because it often gets conflated with "men in general" here) and how even these feminist men are still not practicing what they preach.

[–]Nath43673 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

The highly active moderation on that subreddit is a double-edged sword. Ostensibly it is to prevent conversations from being derailed and to maintain a space where conversations can take place.

But with the amount of removing that goes on some threads, it is likely impossible that the biases of the moderators don't take hold, even in subtle ways.

eg. one rule is designed to prevent discussions being caught up in semantics, but I've seen posts deleted for challenging feminist vocabulary (even politely) while other posts defending it, with the same or higher level of semantic pedantry, remain.

[–]PorkBomber 17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The law is so fucked up in some places that legally men can neither be the victims of domestic abuse nor can women be the aggressors of domestic abuse. Equality my ass.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Bunch of manginas that hate themselves, no surprise lol.

[–]darkbluexanadu 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

FTA Coercive control is a very particular kind of domestic abuse. It’s not a “reaction” to stress, nor is it triggered by alcohol or drugs. It’s an ongoing system of control, in which the abusive partner seeks to override their partner’s autonomy and destroy their sense of self.

Sounds an awful lot like feminism to me..

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Anyone here have stats on how many women are killed by domestic violence vs men who are?

My understanding is that it is mostly women, but I don't have any data to back this up.

Personally I thought the article was Garbage too, largely because the analysis doesn't really make sense when you look at actual rates of domestic violence between men and women, as noted by OP.

That said, outcomes matter (at least to me), and it is worth contending with the fact that women are much more likely to die at the hands of men than vice versa.

[–]jp_mra 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

300 studies showing it's about 50/50 in terms of victims, but 75% of those who initiate DV are women:
https://web.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

[–]Oncefa2 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

68% are women.

58% of people requiring medical care are men though.

And when you include assisted suicide (women berating men and telling them to kill themselves), more men in total are killed than women.

Sources:

https://imgur.com/a/6Hx9dJt

https://search.informit.com.au/documentSummary;dn=759479315231736;res=IELAPA

https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.5042/jacpr.2010.0141/full/html

More here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f4rvop/some_sources_on_the_severity_of_domestic_violence/

[–]Demonspawn -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Anyone here have stats on how many women are killed by domestic violence vs men who are?

This is an interesting question, because history matters as much as the answer.

Answer: Far more women are killed by their partners than men are killed by their partners.

History: The two rates used to be quite similar with women killed by partners having only a slight lead. Society pointed to the number of women killed in DV and laws were enacted to protect women from DV. After those laws passed, men killed by partner dropped like a rock. Why? Because a woman didn't have to risk a counterattack or jail to get their partner out of their lives... they only had to claim they were scared of him as they called the police.

[–]RacelessSexlessName 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Now if only they would make that work the other way around too.

[–]RacelessSexlessName 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The overwhelming majority of men claiming to be victims of domestic violence are actually perpetrators.

Holy fuck...

[–]blueyb 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

r/SorryIHaveAPenis strikes again

[–]thereslcjg2000 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

r/SorryIHaveAPenis

Disappointed that isn't a real sub...

[–]furchfur 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought everyone knew that "Menslib" was run by females. It is a "5th column".

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -39 points-38 points-37 points 6 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

While it is definitely higher than zero, it is not a majority.

Might want to get your facts straight before making public posts about them.

[–]jslnk 31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

More than 200 studies would refute that.

The article simply shows that men are less likely to report.

https://web.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

[+]Atchoum1501 points 6 years ago [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10927507/Women-are-more-controlling-and-aggressive-than-men-in-relationships.html

Most recent studies show the same pattern.

[–]BornFreeWE 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

WTF That is from 2014... The facts are out for 6 years and still everybody thinks the other way around...

[–]Demonspawn 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

WTF That is from 2014

You think that's bad? There used to be a site (dvstats.org) which contained 30 years of research studies showing women were equally or more aggressive in every Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS) study. That site went down near 10 years ago.

We've known this for 40 years.

ETA: Here is the "replacement" for dvstats.org as it contains many of the studies that the site allowed you to search. Notice that some of the studies in that bibliography date from 1979. Like I said: we've known for 40 years.

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -34 points-33 points-32 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Does this prove that men are the MAJORITY of domestic violence victims?

No?

Okay, then uhhhhh care to explain why you posted this? Do you not understand how conversating works?

[+]Atchoum1502 points 6 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link

Does this prove that men are the MAJORITY of domestic violence victims?

It does.

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -27 points-26 points-25 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Ah yes the classic "bury your head in the sand" defense.

How about you come back with an actual quote PROVING that they are a majority of victims and THEN try to make a claim. Claims without evidence accomplish as much as the men's rights movement has. Which is, you know, absolutely nothing.

[+]Atchoum1503 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

The title claims that the majority of the abuse is perpetrated by women and the article I gave you says so too, and most of other recent research as well. What’s your problem?

[–]aussietoads 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What’s your problem?

It's hard for him to see clearly with his head stuck up where the sun doesn't shine.

[–]BornFreeWE 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Quite passive aggressive. What is up with you?

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -8 points-7 points-6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

On the contrary I'd say I'm being very actively aggressive.

[–]BornFreeWE 12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Then treat your toxic masculinity. Getting aggressive about a discussion on facts is worrisome.

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -8 points-7 points-6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

OK Dr. Phil.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

While it is definitely higher than zero, it is not a majority.

Irrelevant. These men are still either denied crucial supports or services or are living in areas bereft of them.

[–]IYELLALLTHETIME -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmm, I guess I always thought that saying accurate things rather than inaccurate things was relevant.

[–]random_tripper_ 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It should be noted, that the title isn't about men being victims more often. Lesbian relationships have a very high level of DV or IPV.

It should also be noted, that domestic violence instigation by a woman where the man responds in at the same level, the woman is much more likely to be severely injured. Because of things like the Duluth Model, it's not a very well researched area. It's very easy to believe that when men are consistently victims of DV (or coercive control even without physical violence) and when given no tools to leave the situation (much less having the abuse validated) that the man then escalates to physical violence. This probably would have been recorded a single DV incident with the man as the instigator.

[+]IYELLALLTHETIME -6 points-5 points-4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

And it should also be noted that, as a serious contributor to this sub, you're a complete scumbag.

[–]random_tripper_ 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ya know, I didn't realize you were the downvoted guy. I'm just gonna tap out since you are more interested in attacks than trying to understand where the disconnect is between our understanding of DV.

[–]icefire54 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

https://stevemoxon.co.uk/partner-violence-mostly-by-women/

https://stevemoxon.co.uk/partner-violence-femalepredominant-aetiology/

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