Can i turn my life around at 21

firewaterdirt · 2017-05-24T21:45:21+00:00

There is no doubt that you can. If you want to be successful you need to start with basic shit first. Its natural that you will be awkward if you sit in your room all day so try figure out things that you can do. A good start would be joining a gym > talk to people at the gym > try talking to girls at the gym and use that skill moving forward. Also you need to work or study.

The main key is that you need to be really fucking proud of yourself no matter how small of a victory. Three years ago I had ZERO friends and spend the weekends by myself being absolutely miserable. I pretty much sucked at math and flunked highschool. Now I am 21 and got two group of friends that I can hit up every weekend, and I am doing well education wise. When I barely passed my math courses I was fucking esthetic meanwhile some cunts would cry if they didn't get top grades.

The best part is that they for some reason my friends really respect me and get bumed out when I can't go out.

Learning how to climb out from pretty much living hell and learn to be happy and get along with people gives you a massive advantage. You will learn some really cool insights that most "normal" people have zero clue about, which is why I think my friends are cool towards me.

[deleted] · 2017-05-24T19:06:02+00:00

Are you kidding me? Your life hasn't even begun.

trainwithlino · 2017-05-24T19:23:28+00:00

Dawg your life hasn't even started.

QE-Infinity · 2017-05-24T21:07:52+00:00

Did it at 29. Worth it.

Never-quitting · 2017-05-24T19:12:04+00:00

Yes you're barely a quarter into your life. Do you know how many people post on trp saying "they wish they found this in their twenties" well congratulations you did.

Things you can do to start. Lift, read, find hobbies you enjoy doing, the rest will work itself out.

desno · 2017-05-24T21:49:32+00:00

"best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the 2nd best is today"

There's already some good advice so I will generalise mine. It's all about discipline and consistency. Little but often. Don't expect to move mountains day one. Just do a bit every day and you will get to the point where you look back and realise how much you've changed. This takes many months, even years. You have to be in it for the long haul

SmoothBeliever · 2017-05-24T19:38:46+00:00

You look at for a map

BullshittingNonsense · 2017-05-24T22:04:09+00:00

I've heard 45 year olds be called kids by old men. YES

-MAurelius- · 2017-05-24T19:22:11+00:00

no, it's all over now. all downhill from here.

RedKekistani · 2017-05-24T19:51:23+00:00

Absolutely. Don't expect someone to tell you exactly how. People can give concepts but ultimately it's up to you to put in the work to see what works. No one will make your life better for you, you have to struggle and keep moving.

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you have problems with validation, meaning you require external validation instead of validating yourself. Maybe it's something you are not aware of but this is a central part of being happy, being able to understand how the craving of external validation drives your whole persona. You have to understand how that craving of external validation drives your personal goals covertly. You may think you want something but really what you want is people to validate you for having achieved that certain thing. So just make sure what you are doing is truly for you and not for you to feel good about validation.

dregofsociety · 2017-05-24T21:11:28+00:00

I wish I could go back to that age. Your life hasn't even really started. Seeing the world, making money and having people depend on you. Every year that goes by you'll look back. Thinking I should have, could have etc.. and you ignore the present. Don't love a life looking back, learn to live today working for tomorrow.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-05-24T19:54:53+00:00

Do you know how you get good at talking to people? PRACTICE.

There are lots of books about how to be a good talker, listener, etc. Start reading and just go out and start talking to people.

JohnnyJohnson11 · 2017-05-24T19:58:21+00:00

I just turned my life around this past year. I'm 25 years old. I look back on my life and wonder how I ever lived that way. First thing you have to do is stop beating yourself up emotionally. Start working out and take one step at a time. Change will not happen over night. It will not be easy but it will all be worth it. I'm still working at it till this day and will continue to work on it for days to come. Get the fuck up and do it.

mallardcove · 2017-05-24T21:30:19+00:00

I was wondering where /u/dukebro1234 and /u/Pastatuna1234 went

BrodinsOats · 2017-05-24T22:05:41+00:00

Boy if you knew the journey I've been on from 21 to 28. Worlds of change, in both directions.

Don't worry about the past, or too much about the future. Just focus on the present moment in a way that will build yourself up as you continue forward.

TheStumblingWolf · 2017-05-24T22:11:01+00:00

Anything is possible if you work at it. Just take little steps and soon you'll move mountains.

Docbear64 · 2017-05-24T23:25:06+00:00

I was a depressed, anxious awkward loser at 25, and turned it around you have more than enough time.

alphabachelor · 2017-05-24T23:52:59+00:00

Did it in my late 20s. I'm 38 now. Wish I did it earlier. I'd have far more wealth and success. Go for it, son.

TheRedStoic · 2017-05-25T02:26:23+00:00

Yeah. Definitely. Unless your schizotypal, in which case, maybe you can if you're lucky and have the exact right meds.

You're an agent. You can do this. Small steps first.

read the sidebar
set up your goals (search smart goals)
find your passion by trying many, many things.
put yourself first.
lift. Just start that now, even if it's only calisthenics
start saving to rebuild your wardrobe
consider moving the moment you have the cash. Trust me, you can easily build a new persona by location change.

There's too much more to write, thankfully we have the top of all time you can run through after killing the sidebar.

You've got this.

drqxx · 2017-05-25T03:58:35+00:00

I want to smack the shit out of you with my 36 year old hand.

However: yes yes you can. I lost 110 lbs and completely reinvented myself at 31.

Im sure as fuck you can do it now and better than me.

My advice: Start reading

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2017-05-25T04:52:37+00:00

It's too late dude. Enjoy the next 55 years of being utterly fucked.

Or don't, and go do something about it.

Auvergnat · 2017-05-25T08:04:03+00:00

Step 1: fix sleep, diet and exercise. Sleep a minimum of 7h a night. Eat well and enough for your exercise program. Workout hard.

Step 2: get an income. Anything will do if you have nothing. If you have one, look on how to get to the next level. Only go for studies after you've carefully found what job you want to do (you need to (A) enjoy it, (B) have the natural skills for it and (C) it must be a job in demand) AND established that it requires a specific degree.

Step 3: get a mission. Find the one or two things that really drive you. Can be a sport, a creative endeavour (write, art, music), a business idea. What it is doesn't matter as much as having it. Because men are designed to pursue goals. This is what get our minds straight and our mental healthy.

Step 4: get laid. Study and practice Game, approach approach approach. Figure your target demographics and work towards them.

Don't follow those steps in different order. Follow that order. Once a step is complete, add the next one. If one step gets undone, stop all above steps until it's fixed again.

resavr_bot · 2017-05-26T13:13:40+00:00

A relevant comment in this thread was deleted. You can read it below.

There is no doubt that you can. If you want to be successful you need to start with basic shit first. Its natural that you will be awkward if you sit in your room all day so try figure out things that you can do. A good start would be joining a gym > talk to people at the gym > try talking to girls at the gym and use that skill moving forward. [Continued...]

^The ^username ^of ^the ^original ^author ^has ^been ^hidden ^for ^their ^own ^privacy. ^If ^you ^are ^the ^original ^author ^of ^this ^comment ^and ^want ^it ^removed, ^please ^[Send ^this ^PM]

tfwno2dqtpgf · 2017-05-24T18:15:34+00:00

Just bee urself

[deleted] · 2017-05-24T21:27:23+00:00

Better at 21 than at 30 or 40. ;-)

Title	Can i turn my life around at 21
Author	Bluth12345
Upvotes	21
Comments	42
Date	May 24, 2017 5:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6d3sbe/can_i_turn_my_life_around_at_21/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/can-i-turn-my-life-around-at-21.91595 https://theredarchive.com/post/91595

Comments

I want to smack the shit out of you with my 36 year old hand.

My advice: Start reading