Are u forced to lie to women in the workplace if u are good at what u do and wanna be left alone?

downvote_isnt_disagr · 2017-06-12T22:14:59+00:00

Here's a good way.

Lazy Woman - "How do make my sharepoint site for important project? I'm trying to set such and such and permissions and file versioning and blahblahblah"

Bad way - "sure, let me show you and spend 4 hours training you to use sharepoint, plus an extra 2 hours per week forever because it's now added to my job to manage the site"

Good way - "Sure, I'd love to help you. The instructions on using sharepoint can be difficult for a lot of people to understand. Print them off and go through them. When you get stuck, book a 20 minute meeting with me and I'll walk you through the trouble spot."

It's good because:

you look AMAZING to your superiors, especially if it's in email.
if she doesn't actually read the instructions you can pull this out - "LazyWoman, I'm happy to help you navigate the difficult parts of learning this, but I'm not teaching kindergarden here. You need to put some effort in".
you've only limited yourself to 20 mins. That's a reasonable amount of time to help someone.
If she needs more than 1 meeting, sure book it, but when she comes to you for a 3rd meeting, you have PROOF for her boss that she's not grasping simple things and not putting enough effort in. "Lazywoman's Boss, I'm concerned about Lazywoman. She seems to be having a lot of trouble grasping the basics of sharepoint. Perhaps there's a course she can take to shore up her abilities."

DanAffid · 2017-06-12T22:35:11+00:00

Been there, very easy to solve.

Tell her you'll be there in 5-15 min to see if you can help, as soon as you finish something.

Forget about it.

Apologize!

Promise you will be there in 10-20, as soon as you finish something small.

Disappear for lunch.

Forget about it.

It's not your responsibility, ghost her repeatedly until the deadline is up.

Erica886 · 2017-06-12T21:52:06+00:00

lie.

their jobs/problems aren't yours. unless its in your job description, their work getting done isnt your problem. its very black and white.

only offer the help if it honestly doesn't affect your job. (say you have a few minutes to spare or something). and then when you do offer the help, try to do so in a way that you are making them do it themselves, so they can learn while under supervision.

lastly, let them try and let them fuck up. its their work. they should know how to do it. and they will learn best by fucking up and having their bosses give them shit. rather than you doing the work for them all the time. people take advantage of that shit. put your foot down.

Auvergnat · 2017-06-12T22:38:39+00:00

If your choice is in between lying and telling them to fuck off, knowing that the consequences in the first case is that you "don't like it" and in the second case you can get in hot water, the choice seems pretty clear to me

WhorehouseVet · 2017-06-12T22:04:20+00:00

Can you not pretend that you're busy at your workstation? Say you have lots of programs opened, and copy and past an interesting article into MS word. You could be reading your article during your down time, and from far away you look like you are busy with your things.

I'd say it's number 1 priority to learn to be diplomatic at work, even though you want to tell the bitches to fuck right off.

RPAlternate42 · 2017-06-12T22:22:43+00:00

I'm guessing that typing out full words and sentences instead of typing like you are a teenager isn't one of the things you are good at.

Never DEER. You can just say "no, but if I get some time..."

Bear-With-Bit · 2017-06-12T22:25:32+00:00

Be mean, cold, brutal. Guard your time like a fat kid guards his cupcakes. Say no to anyone who is not your direct superior. If you offer an explanation, you're only continuing the conversation. Don't offer explanations. If they come to your desk, literally turn your back on them. It will seem to them that you are mean, cold and brutal but to your superior and to the execs you're actually a very productive, focused company man who gets the job done and keeps on improving himself in his subject matter for the benefit of the company.

Pluglord · 2017-06-12T22:52:33+00:00

How many times are you gonna post this.

You can't run away from this problem forever. You're gonna have to stop being a pushover and tell them NO

Planner_Hammish · 2017-06-13T03:14:41+00:00

For me, it depends on the questions they ask.

I had one guy come and ask me questions about basic stuff that if they read the instructions or did any modicum of effort, they would have been able to solve. They come to me because they want me to make a decision for them. I will always turn around to my monitor and say, "well, let's see what the rules say", hinting that they should have looked at that before coming to talk to me.

OTOH, I've had different people from the same group come to me for help. They say "hey, the rules say this and this and that, but in this particular case I think it could be this way because of a,b,c or it could be that way because of x,y,z." Then we chat about the merits of each approach, and then they go back to their desk and make their decision.

Andromeda1985 · 2017-06-13T12:35:21+00:00

I wouldn't lie. I also wouldn't do their jobs for them.

Where is your manager in all of this? just as it isn't your job to do their work, it's not your job to tell them to do their goddamn job themselves.

This is something that is appropriate to escalate. talk to your boss about it. if he decides to be a pushover and tell you to help anyway, tell him you view this as a promotion. you're now managing people and expect to be compensated for the extra responsibility.

If they refuse: quit. abundance mentality should hold outside of women. just like you shouldn't be afraid to lose a girl, you shouldn't be afraid to lose your job. If you're as good as you say you are, you should be able to find a new gig within a week or two. If you can't survive without work for a week or two, you have a completely different set of problems.

scaredycatthaw · 2017-06-12T22:16:48+00:00

How important is it for you to be friends with them? Unless you do or you need them for advancement a firm but nice "no" is more than enough.

Terdmuffin · 2017-06-12T23:42:45+00:00

Tell them to email you the problem they are having as well as the specific approaches they've attempted to solve said problem, that way, if/when you have time you can take a look and not waste time rehashing previously failed strategies.

If you never have time then Oh well. This also gives you documentation of the whole thing.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-13T00:36:44+00:00

"I'm very busy right now"

SpinPlates · 2017-06-13T04:31:05+00:00

I feel so fortunate to work in an all male environment. Stepping on eggshells gets old.

username_1_1_1 · 2017-06-13T04:47:27+00:00

If your ultimate goal is to get them to leave you alone just say, "I'd love to help, but I'm a little too busy right now." Repeat until they stop asking. Case closed. Anything else is just a function of your own ego. It's you wanting to put bitches in their place, which might cause you trouble down the line.

So yeah, this is your job, you have to think about the big picture. I think it behooves you to play nice in an office environment.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-06-13T17:09:34+00:00

Don't help them if you don't want to.

Just tell them no, that you are busy and have other stuff to do.

stupid excuses like "I'm too busy to help you out", which isn't true, and makes me feel like a total loser...

You should feel like a total loser for doing their work for them. Seriously.

and you are not lying, you do have other things to do...for you.

[deleted] · 2017-06-15T05:15:14+00:00

Type out "you" faggot

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2017-06-12T22:23:11+00:00

A true master does not teach the secrets of his craft to unworthy learners.

I'd like to say "no" to them. I don't wanna make up stupid excuses like "I'm too busy to help you out", which isn't true, and makes me feel like a total loser...

OK. Continue to be a faggot and continue to provide unpaid training and professional consultation whenever anyone with a vagina asks. Because: your a bitch who can't say no to other bitches. This despite "intern manager" not being your job description.

Otherwise simply say you're too busy right now. Or else say you don't know how to answer their question and suggest they should try doing lesser task XYZ a few times. It's good practice.

If they persist, give them flat out wrong information.

Title	Are u forced to lie to women in the workplace if u are good at what u do and wanna be left alone?
Author	Erica886
Upvotes	27
Comments	26
Date	June 12, 2017 9:43 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6gveqx/are_u_forced_to_lie_to_women_in_the_workplace_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/are-u-forced-to-lie-to-women-in-the-workplace-if-u.92518 https://theredarchive.com/post/92518

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