I'm 7 months post-divorce and nearly a year and a half post-moving out.

I've posted about my personal reasons earlier, so won't repeat those other than to say after 32 years of marriage (or whatever it was), it was entirely past time. Your experience may differ from mine. I was lucky in some ways (kids are grown and we have a decent relationship)...not so lucky in others. I will say that I read a lot of posts here for advice and suggestions and it helped. I was on this board every day in the months when I was finally deciding to actually pull the plug. Here are a few thoughts. Keep in mind that this is from the perspective of the guy who moved out and decided that it was simply over and that he needed to do it for himself, his mental health, his financial health, and my physical health. Moving out immediately may not be the best decision for you. There's not necessarily a one-size-fits all piece of advice--other than see a damn lawyer.

I am out of the rental house I had and have purchased a home of my own. No one to argue with during the process except the damn underwriter who didn't like my marital settlement agreement. Not my dream house, but in a nice enough area and it will serve the purpose for at least the short term and hopefully the long term. I rented for a year and hated it. If you are buying a house and there are financial things that could impact your ability to pay a mortgage (or that someone could think could impact it), tell them early in the process. My MSA had to be slightly refined to get loan approval.

At the end of the day, you have to make a decision for yourself and you have to live with yourself. Judgements from random people on Reddit are just that. Random.

Talk to a lawyer. Talk to more than one lawyer. Do this as soon as you think there's a chance you might want to divorce or you smell that your wife may want one. You can do research on the internet, but unless you are a lawyer, you are not a lawyer. I read state code and because of my occupation and life experience I am somewhat familiar with real estate law and property law and familiarized myself with some things, but I used that to ask my lawyer what I thought were better questions. You need as much information as possible to make decisions.

Do not fear what has not yet happened. It will wear you down. It did me. Most of what I feared did not happen. I may have been lucky in some ways, but I wasted time worrying that could have been better spent.

Your lawyer is your lawyer, NOT your therapist. Only communicate them when it's necessary and after you've thought about it. Those billable hours add up.

If you can find a lawyer who gives you the vibe that they don't want to draw things out, seriously consider them. Mine encouraged us to be as amicable as possible and I tried to be as amicable as possible and I kept my mouth shut when I disagreed with some things because my goal was to minimize drama, additional legal process, and money and I knew what my bottom line was financially and where I was willing to stand my ground. There are lawyers who are not out to draw things out as long as possible, but there are plenty of them who will.

Decide what really matters to you and where you still stand your ground. I acted like everything mattered, but knew where my bottom line was. Made it easier to bargain. I made a slightly better than fair offer and, luckily, she took it. Did it cost me a little? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. My goal was to get the judge to declare it over as soon as possible.

All you need is one friend who will listen to you. Fortunately a guy I've known since I was in 2nd grade was great support during all of this.

If you can put a bunch of your personal items in storage (sentimental things, things you bought, and the like...do that). Over the course of a few months before we separated, I moved out a great deal of things that were important to me.

If you've been thinking about this for a long time, consider doing it. Had I done this 5 years ago, the hit on my pension would have been less. But also realize that what's done it done...don't sweat what you cannot change.