7 years

Impossible_Tour411 · 2025-07-21T20:14:55+00:00

Yeah, I went through this. Work on yourself means I want or already have someone else and you’re in the way. Don’t spend any money on her, I did that, and it was a waste. Get a lawyer, get your finances in order, file for divorce, and protect yourself. She is not to be trusted at this point. I know it hurts and you feel lost. But it is critical that you get clarity on what is going on. She is months if not years ahead of you in this game. You can hurt and mourn later. Right now, you need to protect yourself!

RichardCleveland · 2025-07-21T19:42:17+00:00

You need to go file yourself and get this crap over with. Don't let her play around with your heart, this entire thing is BS. Keep in mind also that EVERYONE goes through the same pain, and have to turn to the next chapter of life.

Marriage doesn't come with a "backpacking trip across Europe" token to find yourself.

Call an attorney and tell her to fuck off. It's time for you to start healing.

redditrock56 · 2025-07-21T19:18:58+00:00

"I've just been in the gym and eating right and losing myself in work."

Stay the course as far as that goes.

File before she does, and leave her in the dust.

You can pretty much bet she's getting piped by some loser as you read this. "Live life" my ass.

Move on.

Numerous_Study_1846 · 2025-07-21T17:43:00+00:00

We were together 13 years, I beleved the whole "Finding myself" and "I need time" BS as well.

Theres another man and if you send her any money shes probably spending it with or on the other man.

Cry, Cry alot but the best thing you can do is stay in that gym and stack thst bread.

It wont hurt so much eventually. Also, there are thousands of women out there who will be happy to have you once youre truly ready.

They always win round 1 but we win the game.

Reflog1791 · 2025-07-21T17:30:09+00:00

File for divorce. Have her served at work. She is for the streets now.

Make new dreams and goals and make them come true.

In time you will see marrying her was a youthful mistake. You’ll forgive yourself.

Keep focusing on your health. There are many many fine women out there who haven’t betrayed you.

Checking in from my fat golf course house 5 years later. Not only did it get better but I would not take it back. I’d like to give what’s his face a medal for getting her out of my life. Played golf like 5x this week and just enjoyed every minute of it. So many fine women wanted a shot at the champ once I recovered. Hang in there brother.

Flaky_Guard_8247 · 2025-07-21T16:55:33+00:00

She wants to live life means she wants to be single and date other men. She doesn’t love you, she wants to keep you as a back up option in case her new fun single life blows up and the grass isn’t really greener. You should see a lawyer and start preparing for the divorce. Have her served and then cut her off, no contact. You don’t need updates on her fun single life, you shouldn’t be providing any emotional support. Cut her off and move on with your life. You won’t heal while you are still in contact with her. Updateme

KalKulatednupe · 2025-07-21T16:42:20+00:00

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾praying for you brother. I'm in this journey with you and all I can say is what others have said to me. It will get better. Keep doing what you are doing to protect your mental health. This too shall pass with time.

fives_gw · 2025-07-21T16:41:35+00:00

Small consolation now, but just thank fuck that you have no kids (a 15 to 20 year sentence of dealing with her all the damn time, and lingering for life even after that), that you're still quite young, and that the marriage (if it was going to fail) wasn't even longer.

You're going through all the shit feelings now, but we all promise you those will fade with time. You got out relatively not-destroyed, on the divorce spectrum, and that's a genuine silver lining (keep in mind many face all those same shit feeling plus even more financial/life destruction, and the kid complications etc). You lost a lot too I'm sure, but you (hopefully) gained some invaluable life insight into women, relationships, and the utter scam that is legal marriage. Take your losses as the cost of those lessons, try to take the lessons to heart and be better for yourself in the future, and remember to be thankful that the cost wasn't even higher (because damn can it scale up to life-destroying levels, as you'll read on here).

Just keep doing the nuts and bolts things everyone says (gym, self focus/improvement, keep busy, lean on connections with friends/family, develop your own purpose and build an awesome life in your own image), even while it feels shitty, until just time passing -- plus small wins adding up -- does its thing.

Title	7 years
Author	TopShelfCeli
Upvotes	13
Comments	21
Date	July 21, 2025 1:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1m5iue1/7_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/7-years.1557639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557639

Comments