Advice regarding mediation

Competitive_Drop_908 · 2023-06-11T04:33:10+00:00

Your wife sounds like a narcassist. So prepare for her to bad mouth you to anyone that will listen. And to draw the process out as long as she can.

I would recommend mediation. Put the pressure on. Most states you need mediation before trial. So get that check as required and allows to have a looming trial date in the back of her mind. Yes it’s money. But it is tens of thousands cheaper than going to court. You can probably find a mediation center with volunteer mediators. Or you can pay some extra money and you will get a really good mediator.

I wish I has gone to mediation sooner. What could have been a 2-3 month process was dragged out for 11 months. All it took was one mediation session to get to yes.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-06-11T13:09:06+00:00

You know try one mediation session and if it doesn’t work just make a settlement proposal and head to trial. There are no minor children involved and Texas has some clear asset division guidelines relative to other States. Attorneys love to have meetings for billable hours. Got burned pretty bad financially in mediation so I personally would send her a settlement offer and if you can’t work it out set a trial date.

out-the_door · 2023-06-11T19:01:57+00:00

Typically, 'discovery' in divorce mostly refers to discovery of financial assets; and has less to do with physical/emotional abuse or the grounds for the divorce. Maybe TX is different, I don't know.

All I can tell you is what I did. I didn't use mediation. I waited for her side to send their proposal. And then reviewed it on my own. There's some legalese in there not worth spending a lot of time on. Pay attention to the split of marital assets and spousal support/alimony demands. Look for any claims on future retirement income, be it Soc Sec, pensions, 401k, IRA, healthcare accounts, etc.

Maybe see what she wants first before opting for mediation from the get-go?

In the end, it's up to you, what you will agree to and what you will reject. If you can reach an agreement i.e. mutual consent, it's probably cheaper to settle.

Good luck.

Ever-learning271 · 2023-06-11T21:55:52+00:00

I’m in MA…went through mediation under my advisement (she’s a Narc) stressed it was best for the benefit of our son (so as not to stress him with Divorce Court) and that focus helped in convincing her (we were married for 21years/11 y/o son). Could have finished it in 3months/3 sessions but she dragged changes and amendments to the agreement many times-I feel it was because she was doubting herself. We each had attorneys for advice only, the mediator (a neutral attorney) helped with reaching agreements, discussing topics needed for completion, official filing and cost was much cheaper than going with full-out Divorce Court.
Not sure you both need to hire lawyers if you Mediate but do consult with a few to get ideas (cost is cheaper than retaining one). Hope this helps! Good Luck❤️‍🩹

captainchippsixx · 2023-06-15T01:01:51+00:00

It’s your call. I’m a firm believer in go fast and get it done. Less time for her to make shit up. Let her be a shit show in court.

There had to be some Texas bros here. I thought Texas was a little better for men than most states.

Title	Advice regarding mediation
Author	69manu
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	June 11, 2023 2:35 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/146ia7r/advice_regarding_mediation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-regarding-mediation.1221862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221862

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