divorce

James1933-75 · 2022-07-07T21:14:02+00:00

Document for sure. Call a lawyer like yesterday.

tyyyy110 · 2022-07-07T21:24:29+00:00

Are there any kids? She's definitely negligent as it sounds like this was a deliberate wicked act. Document, lawyer up, and have your monies put into another account that she can't get to. Her actions are spiteful and gross. Get ready for the absolute worse from her.

Ok_Article_349 · 2022-07-07T21:28:59+00:00

No kids. I opened another account she can't access but I literally have $30 to my name now until my pay comes in. And have to make it work to pay a mortgage, insurance, bills. I know a lawyer is likely what is needed in this situation - but unfortunately at this time I have to figure out how to afford one. She also hid or got rid of a lot of my person belongings while I was away for work.

WartimeDad · 2022-07-07T22:32:06+00:00

She’s following the divorce playbook. This is brutal and it’s happened to many men. Listen carefully. Do you own a home together? Do you have kids?

There is a high probability that she already has an attorney, given that she has taken money out of accounts. That attorney is probably drafting up divorce papers right now.

The next steps she will take is to provoke you into arguments and try to record you. Flip this script and be sure you record every conversation you have with her. She also wants any excuse to get a temporary restraining order against you. She will likely lie in order to get the temporary restraining order because this keeps you out of the house, ensures she is primary caretaker, and ensures she gets maximum leverage when you’re separated. No joke. It happened to me and happened to many others.

It is in your best interest to get an attorney immediately. Get them to file first, if possible. It might be too late. Yes, you might be able to bring the money she stole into divorce considerations if you file asap.

It’s about to get ugly man. Take care of yourself.

ZombieJetPilot · 2022-07-07T21:32:55+00:00

Not sure where you are but depending on the amount and what the accts show they had before when she asks for spousal support or child support the court would take that cash into consideration.

Also, it's not exactly easy for most folks to hide cash. If she put it in a acct elsewhere a simple run of a credit report will show the accts and a lawyer can then say "show me your statements or I'll go get them from your bank". Her trying to yank the cash out and hide it elsewhere would just make the court look less and less positively at any of her asks or stories. If she gave it to someone else to hide now they're gonna get yanked into it.

I would normally say "work through it" but jeez... in your case you should go get the paperwork together and get her served.

OwnerAndMaster · 2022-07-08T03:23:45+00:00

Dude she's already far into the process of divorce raping you

Get lawyered up and your own accounts, asap. You're in for a hell of a ride

Remember: this person no longer loves you. If you somehow gain leverage enough to possess an advantage over her, expect her to suddenly want reconciliation and to love-bomb / sex-bomb you. Don't play her game, and especially don't get her pregnant

Good luck. And no matter what u do, make sure it's not immature, aggressive, & especially not interpretable as violent or threatening. The restraining order play is coming. That's how she gets the house without having her name on it. I'd keep a body camera with audio on me and running 24/7 just in case she initiates violence out of desperation to make you bruise her. DON'T FALL FOR IT

sicrm · 2022-07-08T00:49:55+00:00

look for lawyers that do free consults ASAP.

like others said she’s ahead of you in the process and it’ll only get worse.

strangerthaaang · 2022-07-08T00:34:21+00:00

Where in Michigan are you? (Michigan myself)

Gattsama · 2022-07-08T11:14:12+00:00

Hey man to add to the above. Even if she isn't planning to divorce you need too. The money is gone. It's a joint account so it's her property. Also understand that the money you make today, until you file is still community property and 1/2 hers. You need to print statements from all joint accounts. You need to lock / close / freeze all joint credit cards and lines of credit. You can do that before filing. After filing is often harder or not legal.

As you already have done get your own account and direct deposit everything there. You will need to turn those statements over too.

Now during discovery is is legally required to turn over all statements from all accounts. So in theory you can see what she's been upto. But in reality people don't so this. They keep their secret account secret and never disclose it. So with a full financial audit (which is pricey) you are SOL.

Most attorney's have a first 30-60 min consult that's free. Check around, they will want $2-5k retailer after that. Ask if they can take partial payments.

You do NOT need a lawyer to file. In most states just Google for the courthius forms. In my state it was pretty easy to download all the forms, fill them out, and went to the court house and paid a small fee.

Filing stops the clock. All community assets and debts are on the table from the day of marriage until the date you file. Things really vary from state to state, so talk to an attorney first if able. Make a list of questions to ask then, document everything, make an excel sheet of all know assets, debts, income, etc AT THE TIME OF FILING.

Glad to hear no kids. Good luck, sorry she started all this so dirty because that means very very low probability of things being civil.

Keep in mind if her goal is divorce this is NOT a snap decision. She has been planning this for months to years. So you are behind the curve and need to prepare & catch up asap.

pegleg_legal · 2022-07-09T03:33:49+00:00

She was advised to do this. Either she has a divorced friend or is already with a lawyer. You need to play catch up now. Beg and borrow for whatever cash you need to get a good lawyer onboard immediately. As for the mortgage and other payments - seek legal advice before you pay them, you need to conserve your cash.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-07-08T11:45:48+00:00

Can't do anything about the money that was withdrawn.

You can prevent it in the future by depositing your paychecks to a new checking account that only you have access to.

Take the time to do the same with joint credit cards. Open your own, then freeze any joint account so she can't continue to rack up debt on it.

recce22 · 2022-07-08T21:11:54+00:00

She’s an idiot! If you can provide proof, looks like she took a fair percentage already.

This is what happens when they don’t have too many brain cells.

Title	divorce
Author	Ok_Article_349
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	July 7, 2022 9:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vtt6kl/divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce.1122670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122670

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