Don't voluntarily Leave the House?

Bumblebee56990 · 2025-02-12T14:50:35+00:00

Contact an attorney. They will guide you.

Don’t leave.

jimsmythee · 2025-02-12T14:16:39+00:00

No, leaving for a "couple of days" will not constitute Abandonment.

And leaving the house will most definitely not affect your equity interest in the house either.

In my divorce, I had to move out and during temporary orders meeting, I stated that the reason I left my house for the sake of "keeping of the peace for the benefit of the kids".

Just make sure that you see your kids as much as possible. Document it.

As for "I'd be fine with 100%". Yeah, family court is most definitely not going to let that happen. Just go for 50/50 custody.

Mangrove43 · 2025-02-12T13:19:23+00:00

Do not leave the house, ever. Tell her if she can’t handle it, she can move out

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2025-02-12T12:48:51+00:00

One of the most misunderstood concepts in divorce is around "abandonment". Despite what you've heard, the issue with you leaving has nothing to do with abandonment. As long as you're still contributing financially, there's no issue there.

The biggest issue is that you give her the upper hand. She's now living comfortably in a home that you pay for, without you. She's got all the leverage......shes in the home, she's bleeding you dry, and she likely has the kids. She can and will drag it on for MONTHS. Oh, and then she'll claim the home as her "safe place", and you'll be barred from entering.

Do. NOT. Leave. Talk to an attorney first, and get a temporary agreement if you must leave.

regertsrus · 2025-02-12T12:46:23+00:00

I was told by lawyere and redditors to stay and not leave. Luckily for me, i had the means and the rational advice from family to get the hell out. I left a pathological liar and cheat. I left my little kids and went to nearby roach motels. For nearly a year i wanted to erase myself. Staying in my house would have been the death knell of me. This is perhaps the worst advice one can give here like a boiler plate. Dont listen to these people. This is a case by case decision. Only you and the closest people to you can decide. It was the best decision to leave. The healing process started right away. The respect i got from everyone for it was monumental. 3 years later my kids understand this as a sacrificial decision. My stbx is still a pathological liar who is malignant and vicious to the core. I restarted my life quickly. Now have a new and large blended family. The decisions to leave is the hardest thing to do. The decision to stay is potentially the dumbest, the most self serving and least respected. Staying can only be done on a path to reconciliation and with an honest woman who will never turn on you. Do not stay if you are not certain about this. If she can move out without the kids then great. But that almost never happens

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-02-12T12:32:20+00:00

I momentarily left my home. Came back after 3 days.

My wife stormed about wanting space to figure it out.

I told her I’d live in the basement. It would take nothing less than a court order to get me out of a home I jointly owned.

I lived in the basement. Used a bathroom that she didn’t. Stayed largely out of the kitchen when she was in it.

She moved out less than 60 days later. She wasn’t working on anything..

AcceptableAccess9385 · 2025-02-12T08:30:18+00:00

Absolutely 💯 percent it will be used against you. While you're giving her the space she asked for to "work on her feelings" she will change the locks, claim abandonment, and threaten to call the cops if you refuse to leave your own home.

Later, after she's denied you access to your own children and home, she will argue for a judge to keep the situation as-is because the kids are now used to it. Effectively, if you leave the home even for a few days to give her the space she asked for, know what you're really giving her, which is for her to keep the house and likely primary custody of the children.

bluephotoshop · 2025-02-12T08:25:54+00:00

Unless a legal separation agreement is in place outlining respective rights and obligations. It could be a temporary agreement. Let’s also recognize that if ‘she needs the space’ then it’s on her to move out, not you.

Title	Don't voluntarily Leave the House?
Author	BEM94510
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	February 12, 2025 7:40 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1inlrrv/dont_voluntarily_leave_the_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dont-voluntarily-leave-the-house.1543637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543637

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