Financial Obligations and boundaries

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-11-14T18:55:26+00:00

2/2/3 custody isn't appropriate for a 7 and 9yo. 7/7 is the standard. You want fewer, not more, exchanges. Fewer exchanges = less drama.

You're only going to be responsible for reimbursements for things you agree to in the parenting plan. Typically, both of you will reimburse half for medical, extracurriculars, religion and education. Stuff like clothes? No.

For reimbursements, and communications, use Our Family Wizard. It's worth the cost when it comes to dealing with he-said she-said bullshit.

ZombieJetPilot · 2022-11-14T22:36:39+00:00

Eh. Before I read the part of her buying them things all the time I was about to say "if she's buying school supplies or clothes then obviously get in there and help out" but if it's just crap then no.

If it's a good amicable thing, which it sounds like, then you two should just talk about things before buying whatever it is. I'm in a good relationship with my ex so if I'm at a store I'll text her and say "hey, you need anything from X?". Sometimes the answer is "yeah, can you get some milk/yogurt/TP" and I'll happily buy it to give to her because it's all in support of our kids. I want her to be set up for success as much as possible as well as me. I asked her a week or two back if the kids wanted a Playstation at her place, but she said they haven't brought it up, so let's not.

In the end it kind of boils down to the relationship you two have. That being said, you two should probably sit down and just honestly and openly talk about what you two have for expectations so it doesn't drive a Wedge between you two later and create poison.

Good luck.

BeneficialAbalone578 · 2022-11-14T17:48:08+00:00

OP, is the D completely amicable? Lawyers involved based on what you’re saying so this will all kind of play itself out. You mention the temporary custody arrangements. Child support? Alimony? Are you two going to agree on that stuff?

mehmench · 2022-11-14T22:28:03+00:00

You do what your judgement says and give a little grace to make you look like the good guy if you ever end up in front of a judge.

What does your judgement say?

pk2at · 2022-11-14T16:45:36+00:00

Yes, you will be responsible for everything she spends, i.e. unless you are able to pressure her into signing an agreement where you get full custody

NickRubesSFW · 2022-11-15T04:41:49+00:00

You will be on the hook for child support, even with 50/50. You have to have more than 50% because you make more than she does. She can easily get alimony as well, the more you make the more they’ll take.

I make $80k and ex makes $38k. Because we were married for under 5 years there’s no spousal support in PA. She has primary custody I have every other weekend, and most holidays. I’m paying $1000/mo for one child.

Here’s an easy PA child support calculator

Title	Financial Obligations and boundaries
Author	EntertainmentDull792
Upvotes	9
Comments	29
Date	November 14, 2022 4:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/yv3y5j/financial_obligations_and_boundaries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/financial-obligations-and-boundaries.1139864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139864

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