Going to Trial

Dry_FishMan · 2024-07-25T02:52:07+00:00

I 38m stbx 35. Married 10 yrs known each other 18. One 3 yo kid. I’m pushing for trial as she wants more mediation. The first offers were a joke. She earns 2.5 times what I do. She wants the house and is pushing on me for my living situation since split. I haven’t spent much on living but have adequate bed and so forth for son. Shes trying to call my shots and also keep tabs on me when I do get time w my son. Ie where we go who we visit etc. she wouldn’t let me take kid to see grandparents cause she didn’t like flight times I booked on days that were agreed to. That’s just an example of the craziness..there’s a lot more times she pulled crap like this. She has been diagnosed with ‘anxiety’. We have 1.2M on paper. No debt except 200k for home but lots equity. She did the whole ex parte ofp, forced me out. Isn’t letting me get my belongings from the house, and even w police refuses. She has everything except a few duffle bags of clothes I took back in January. Not responding to inquiries to see my son via the lawyers. I can’t wait for trial. Mediation is a waste of our time because we are so far apart. They sent one settlement offer weeks after the actual mediation for both custody and finances. She’s proposing mediation again —I see right thru it. Trying to drag this out and not face the music.

Ps. Lawyers are terrible at math and asset stuff. They had cash and items double listed and over valued in the spreadsheet. She’s stating she’s the primary care taker but worked too much; I was. So now we are waiting on pretrial w hearing for temporary custody and relief as she is hiding a joint high yield savings from me w over 6 figure in it. Started in January. Pretrial dates next Monday w hearing for temporary custody (joint) and 50/50 parenting time til trial. She also claims to be spending 4300 a month in lawyers fees. I’m at maybe 12-15k because we can’t communicate except thru lawyers for anything. I’ve learned a lot about trust and what to keep from someone moving forward but trial isn’t always and as some comments here state. I need it to not have this drag on forever. There’s a lot more to it but anyways—can’t wait to get a trial date and this over with. Fighting like hell for my son.

Atom_____ · 2024-07-25T00:07:36+00:00

Mine has to go to trial for both childcare and finances. She’s unreal.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-07-24T22:48:44+00:00

It’s something like 3% go to trial.

If you go to trial you either: A) Have $100M to fight over and throwing $200k to a lawyer means nothing B) There is real documented criminal activity like fraud or one party is just insane and has no problem destroying themselves with legal fees if it means ruining the other party in the process.

Any_Street_1415 · 2024-07-24T21:15:02+00:00

Going to mediation soon. Hoping to keep it out of trial just to save money. My wife is also painting me as an alcoholic as an excuse for the divorce and I really don't want to deal with trying to prove im not a raging alcoholic in front of people lol

Embarrassed-Steak331 · 2024-07-24T15:39:08+00:00

CA has a built in system to encourage settling called insanely high price. Everyone whispered in my ear "you don't want to go to trial." I was convinced.

The problem was her. She just wasn't into the divorce. Divorce ruined her day. So she developed a nasty habit of not responding and changing lawyers often to kind of get a reboot. And she was successful with this type of delay for two years. We had 0 progress over two years.

I filed for a CA mandatory settlement conference. It did the trick. She was cornered. It was a last stop before trial. And she was hurting for cash just as much as I was. We went from 0 to 100% in four hours.

MSC is a CA thing. But I think other states have similar processes.

pk2at · 2024-07-24T14:19:24+00:00

Approx. 2% of cases in my county went to trail. The best strategy to make your wife (not spouse) settle is to self represent in court and let her waste money on lawyers

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2024-07-24T11:26:20+00:00

I simply told my wife that every dime we spent on attorneys was another dime she couldn’t take. We had a 13 hour mediation that cost us $11,000…..gone in one day. At the end of that, she still wasn’t satisfied and claimed she wanted to go to court anyway. I got on my phone, pulled up my banking app, printed the balance screen…..showing the charges that had recently come out for both attorneys and the mediator. I wrote on there “that’s all that’s left”…..and had the mediator give it to her. Stupid bitch had never considered that we were spending the money she thought she deserved.

Title	Going to Trial
Author	Sensitive-City-1635
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	July 24, 2024 9:21 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1eax0dr/going_to_trial/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/going-to-trial.1525175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525175

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