Healing Post-Divorce

peoplearestrangebrew · 2022-04-04T16:59:33+00:00

Yes, even though it was bad. We grieve what may have been as well as what was and what will never be. At least that's what I was told, and it did make sense to look at it that way.

ndeniably · 2022-04-04T18:03:47+00:00

I didnt think i would, then i did for almost 2 months straight. Therapy, working my body, seeing friends and focusing on the future, its what has helped me get through.

It takes many people different time to heal. I have plenty left to heal, but I also feel WAY better now, than when it was fresh. Ive been able to go on a date, that went really well but I had to be honest with where I am and let her know Im really not ready.

It's good to do for yourself as mucb as you can, and be soft with yourself as you move through this time period

Basic_Advance7627 · 2022-04-04T19:29:10+00:00

I grieved horribly and still grieve today some. 27 years was a long time for her to throw away for a POS.

Amadis10 · 2022-04-04T21:16:26+00:00

I understand. It's weird because in my case I can say I mourn the end of my marriage but in the same time I am kind of in a denial still.. after 6 months ! Man a divorce can mess up you up real good huh

MyLesbianUncle · 2022-04-05T01:58:16+00:00

My divorce is just at the beginning stages. I went on a long hike by myself and came away with 3 conclusions: 1) I can never expect her to know the pain she has caused me; 2) trying to cause her pain just backfires on me and makes me feel worse; 3) I will come out a better man and father from this.

oli_21_ · 2022-04-05T02:52:06+00:00

Yesterday while on my motorcycle trip a song from our wedding came on after 20 years of marriage.

Then when I went to sleep last night it was like the whole night I dreamed out we used to hang out and stuff.

I know that we're never getting back together. She is dead to me in that sense....she cheated on me and dragged me thru hell for a long time till we were finalized.

The best way I can describe this process is that it's like a necessary purge or detox that must take place in order to move forward with my life.

I will say that when this happens it seems to get easier and easier.

I just went thru the acceptance phase recently. How do I know that? Well I did wish any harm or death upon her for the first time in a long time. I knew I must be in the acceptance phase at that point.

We gotta just keep moving forward. One step at a time. Slow but sure.

All the best my friend.

WorkingItOutSomeday · 2022-04-04T23:57:16+00:00

I'm surprised how much I'm morning. People closest to me don't understand, heck I don't even understand. It was a terrible marriage and the first few days I was relieved buy now, months on, I'm so sad. I don't want her back. The mere thought of her causes anxiety but for some reason it feels like I am morning what could've been despite knowing for a few years that it was over. Such a weird feeling to process.

HelpfulasICan1 · 2022-04-05T04:22:06+00:00

When divorce was filed on me, I was happy. Free. And I had all the confidence I would win everything including my kids easily. That was all a delusion. I’ve now riding waves of grief and regret. I’ve always been a happy person so this feels alien. So, my focus is on me and my health, and my two girls who are doing great. But I am fully grieving 15 years of marriage and a divorce I didn’t want.

pegleg_legal · 2022-04-05T08:37:21+00:00

It's worse than grieving a death - the dead don't come back and fuck with you, despite what you may have seen in the movies.

tinkerb3lll · 2022-04-05T13:39:13+00:00

Yes you really do have to. It takes on average about 2 years to heal from personal experience, but everyone's time line is different.

2022-04-05T13:55:23+00:00

Yeah, we all grieve the “art of the possible”. But then reality sets in and you realize how much better it is. Look for the silver linings bro

Dizzy-Ad512 · 2022-04-06T01:22:01+00:00

It takes two to tango. If one doesn’t want to work on marriage it will fall apart . Take time to grieve . I am going through the same thing .

Work on yourself ..

pegleg_legal · 2022-04-05T08:15:09+00:00

I mourned the loss of the relationship and was through it before the proceedings ever started. It took years.

Title	Healing Post-Divorce
Author	banguitar
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	April 4, 2022 3:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tw5c0l/healing_postdivorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/healing-post-divorce.1210287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210287

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