Help me understand why

Firm-Assumption-77 · 2025-12-27T14:38:21+00:00

Appreciate the perspectives of everyone. Agree on certain things a lot of you stated. I personally am a little bitter and the wound is fresh as one of you pointed out. Opinions can change and right now the thought of dating seems insane and too much. Probably the best ideal would be to as I stated enjoy my freedom, get a dog(again someone mentioned this), or hobby, and remember that every working girl is someone's daughter and not worth the trouble

Hedonikus_ · 2025-12-27T13:53:23+00:00

I like talking to women tbh. The hunt, the novelty, having a good time. I started dating recently and it feels good having women appreciating you as opposed to my ex wife, who just kinda resents me

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-12-27T05:27:50+00:00

I like the challenge of dating a woman that I think is worthy. I like the flirting, the connection and the intimacy of being in a monogamous relationship. Paying for sex is personally not something I will ever do for various reasons but to each their own.

Also I don't mind being on my own. I already have kids and don't need more. Love my loyal dogs that I know love me more than even themselves so I am happy either way. Try to find that place first if you can.

alexmixer · 2025-12-27T03:37:18+00:00

😆 while my dumb boss is getting married a third time in like bro whyyyyy bro

Corpus1965 · 2025-12-27T02:06:32+00:00

No. You are not in my opinion.

I liked “I enjoy my freedom.”

47omek · 2025-12-26T23:31:11+00:00

Too many men attach their self-image and self-perception of their worth to the opinion of the women that they date/marry. After all, if that cute girl is willing to bone me, I must be a pretty good dude, right /s? I reached the realization some time ago that I do not care whatsoever about the whims of mostly irrational creatures and their opinion of me has no bearing whatsoever on whether I see myself as a good and worthy person. After that, sex is just something that's nice to have when available and if it's not it doesn't change a thing. Not a need in any way and definitely not worth pandering to the whims of selfish, entitled people to get it. I'll sometimes take part in a little pay for play when in a place where it's legal to scratch the itch or if it falls in my lap then sure why not, but I definitely wouldn't describe myself as "dating". My goodness and worth are established by my being a good father every day, and a good friend and person to the people around me as I determine that to be.

xxrealmsxx · 2025-12-26T21:47:49+00:00

A lot of women you are paying are trafficked.

That alone is enough for me, but:

I have a daughter.

We are not entitled to sex.

Picking up women is fun, I do it for the love of the game.

FUMoney · 2025-12-26T21:45:49+00:00

I agree fully. There have been many posts in the past that concur. Some even saying that seeing a professional was their most open and honest relationship; whereas dating and marriage was lies and bullshit.

Coffeecankicker · 2025-12-26T21:23:35+00:00

Get a dog.

thraxx171 · 2025-12-26T19:43:02+00:00

Glad you brought this up. It’s almost never about the money. If you’re trying to win someone over that way, you’ve already lost. That’s not attraction, that’s overcompensation. Women are attracted to power, which involves confidence and stability. You don't owe them anything.

Don’t run the same playbook and expect a different result. Learn what you actually want, stop over-investing, and match the energy you’re getting back.

Not everyone is meant for everyone. Tell them how you're feeling, and if it's not meant to be thank you, nothing personal. Figuring that out sooner saves a lot of time, money, and emotional damage.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-12-26T19:16:52+00:00

I starting dating again after 4 years to find a life partner (next wife). I was married for 22 years. 20 years of that was bliss. I want love, I want to give love, I want companionship, I want an adventure partner, I want to get everything out of life that I can. For me I cannot do that being alone, I am just not wired that way.

That season of singleness was awesome and I will always look back at it fondly. I grew tremendously as a person and I want to share that with an intimate partner. I have friends but you do not share the most intimate parts of yourself with a friend. I want a partner to share that side of myself with, and I want a partner that shares that side of themselves with me. I am fine with putting in the work for that reward.

I considered going the paid route while I was single. While it is a cheaper investement dollarwise and emotionally you do pay for it with your soul. On a human level I knew inately it was not the right thing to do. If it was men would be completely open about engaging with prostitutes with friends and family, and they would be encouraging their daughters to get into the profession. I don't know of any father on this planet that would be happy that their daughter was selling access to their body for money. In fact, I know every single one of them would be heart broken. In turn I will not take advantage of these broken women, they are all some man's daughter and I always look out for my brothers. That is the boundary I set for myself. No expectations and easy is not what us men were created to do.

You are 3 months out of a 2 failed marriages so it is pefectly normal to be afraid of trying again. It will take a few years to heal. This is the time to reflect on where you went wrong so your third attempt will be a success. As the leader of the relationship you have 100% control over the outcome. Once you realize that the fear will go away.

dpi2024 · 2025-12-26T18:42:59+00:00

I dated for two years post divorce, and sex wise it has been a blast. My ultimate conclusion though is that dating market is a swamp. I am no longer dating. I'll never marry again. Single women of my age are all damaged, with such baggage that their granmas would have a stroke if they knew. Besides, I am not interested in raising someone else's children. 'Single' women younger than my age are pretty much all entitled brats with main character syndrome, multiple situationships, fwb, polyamory or a similar bullshit. I do not do affairs and I am not into grandmas.

Good women are out there, they do exist. The problem is they are all married to their good men.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2025-12-26T18:22:43+00:00

I’m only 2 months separated and have no desire. Yes it’s early for me but trusting another one especially after being so vulnerable in marriage therapy and getting mind fucked. What a shame. Good luck out there. If the kids didn’t keep me held back I’d be vacationing someplace where’s it’s legal and variety is abound!

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-12-26T17:37:07+00:00

This is what it has become. The majority of “modern women” are damaged goods.

Gone of the good days when a woman added to the family beyond giving birth. They spend like drunk sailors, and don’t even know how to parent effectively. The majority suffer from “main character syndrome”. Cannot even trust in a woman “from the church” nowadays.

Enjoy your freedom, but especially your peace of mind.

Title	Help me understand why
Author	Firm-Assumption-77
Upvotes	15
Comments	15
Date	December 26, 2025 5:15 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pw9ghz/help_me_understand_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-me-understand-why.1569718 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569718

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