Holidays alone

Character_Pop_6628 · 2025-11-29T02:11:57+00:00

Support to you my man. My parents just got a Grey divorce and I am going through one too. My Dad and I both spent Thanksgiving alone. It is hard. I wasn't expecting it to be, because court last week went really well for me. I expected to be happy, but, holidays are still hard.
I moved out last year and last Thanksgiving I stayed in bed for 1 week. Called out sick from work... I'm in a much better mindset this year but, still it's hard. I wasn't expecting it but, I should have been. Custody battle and all, I should expect that my feelings are normal and when grieving it is important to experience your feelings to work through them. Social rejection reads as physical pain in the brain. My brain expects me to be under attack and I feel anxious and sad. I try to let myself feel the pain while keeping gratitude in focus. There's no way around it, you have to go through it. It gets better with time. The difference between last year and this year is pretty big. I'm going to continue improving and not seeing this as a bad sign but part of the proscess.

WitchDoctor431 · 2025-11-29T00:58:31+00:00

There is a bad ass looking sequal out this weekend i may check out sisu 2

WitchDoctor431 · 2025-11-29T00:54:01+00:00

Man i wish the oldest got arrested the day i left my house his mom made him think i was going to do something and he pulled a firearm and shit the celling . So i cant see him even if he wanted to see me and she made the youngest one think i got his best friend kicked out of the house when the judge asked me why i spent so much on food i said well there are 5 people im feeding judge thought it was only 2 of us she asked who i said my wife me my 2 kids and his friend she said well friends got to go we are saleing the house ayway and mom told him i got him kicked out .so yeah

WitchDoctor431 · 2025-11-29T00:48:25+00:00

Hey everyone .. well made it thru yesterday. I made it out if the apt . For about an hour i hate shopping .. dont really have the $ for it but it seems the only way to break up the monotony and some what people againim trying real hard to not drink that will never turn out well .and went out today for some earbuds. Now im home again and does anyone find it extremely difficult to even watch TV havnt been able to watch tv in months . Maybe ill go try to find a pool hall somewhere.

funzys · 2025-11-27T01:48:46+00:00

Be strong brother. My situation isn’t as dire (will see at least one of my kids) but the solitude during holidays is hard.

frogmicky · 2025-11-26T12:27:39+00:00

You can still go out and enjoy dinner alone. Go see a movie or take up a new hobby.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-11-25T21:23:09+00:00

I am sorry you have to spend holidays alone. We have all been there in some manner.
What are some healthy things you like to do when you don't have the kids?
Suggestions: Go for a walk, a bit of gaming, volunteering, reading, learning to play an instrument, studying, binge watching something, journaling, running, gym, make a gratitude list.
I hope you can find happiness/peace in solitude.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-11-25T16:28:18+00:00

both are kids are 18-19

I gotta assume they have phones. Do you have the kind of relationship where you could text (both same time) and say "Hey I know you're at your moms but I would love to see you both - Can we go grab a quick lunch?"

You'll have made the effort and even if you get a no or no reply they will see you've tried.

i wish i was working so i didnt have to sit through anotner one by mu self .

Cliche but volunteer at a mission/church kitchen for the holidays

WitchDoctor431 · 2025-11-25T15:58:55+00:00

Hey all thanks for the words of encouragement sometimes a kind word can help get over a hump or out if a rut that has potential to be bad. I don't get down on my self often but when it happens its a fight and yeah this time of year is extremely more difficult i dont have alot of friends as im not from here my ex was fairly controlling (as in when they could see thru her they point out that she wasnt a nice person and she would already be driving a wedge so eventually i really didn't try to make any as I felt my family was all i really needed or so i told my self. Any way again thank you

Empress1978 · 2025-11-25T14:28:15+00:00

Feel for you. I don’t have kids but can’t imagine the toll it takes, especially with an ex badmouthing you. I’ve been doing a lot more holidays with friends and found it to be amazing. I will still see my mom and sisters at times but they live 4 hours away, and spent most holidays over the last 15 years before divorce with my ex family (of course, she insisted as always). Leaning on friends who are open to having you keeps the loneliness at bay…even for a bit. Hang in there. It gets better.

DoctorQuit · 2025-11-25T14:25:13+00:00

Man, I’m really sorry. Holidays hit different when you’re on your own, and the quiet in the house makes everything louder. What you’re feeling is normal for anyone, it’s not weakness, it’s just the reality of losing the routine and the people you expected to spend those days with.

And don’t take the kids’ behavior as the final word on who you are. When a separation first happens, it’s easy for them to get pulled into a one-sided story, especially when they’re living under her roof. Time has a way of sorting that stuff out once emotions settle.

For now, make a plan for the day so you’re not just sitting there replaying everything in your head. Even something simple like taking a drive, going to the gym, grabbing good food, or going see a movie... really anything that gets you out of the empty house.

You’re not actually alone in this, even if it feels like it. A lot of us have had that first holiday where it feels like the whole world moved on without us. It gets easier, I promise. Just get through this one day at a time. If you have any buddies you haven't reached out to in awhile now would be a good time to just pick up the phone and chat.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-11-25T11:42:47+00:00

Parental alienation is absolutely disgusting. Hopefully the kids will snap out of it.

Don't let the ex take advantage of these holiday times. Even though the kids are adults, push for time to see them. Lunch, movies, whatever. Just get time with them.

Ok-Trainer-4100 · 2025-11-25T09:25:08+00:00

It's rough isn't it .building up to my first since break up .. why is life this fucking hard . Shit upon shit with one thing and another .

Title	Holidays alone
Author	WitchDoctor431
Upvotes	14
Comments	15
Date	November 25, 2025 8:23 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1p675ju/holidays_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/holidays-alone.1567372 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567372

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