Just curious what you would do differently now that you've had time to reflect and talk to more people about what took place.

What would you do if you were in this situation (my current situation)?

  • Married a foreigner who is now a citizen.
  • Been married for 5 years and she never worked (always had an excuse), but she did do all the cooking, cleaning, and pet care. We have no house or kids.
  • I paid for everything (literally), trips, medical, dental, insurance, groceries, rent, bills, even her citizenship.
  • We only have one joint account with less than $100 in it, everything else is in my name or in an account I made for her (holiday gifts).
  • All of my money is spread around different accounts and I'm worried if I divorce her now she will automatically get half of what was accrued during the marriage (let's say $200k). I don't want her to struggle post divorce, but that's a lot of money for mostly spending her days on social media, watching TV, and napping. She refuses to get a job and has severe depression (undiagnosed and I've suggested therapy). We've tried marriage therapists, but no luck.

At this point we both agree we should both go our separate ways. What do you think would be a fair amount to put on the divorce settlement? We are considering an uncontested divorce in Washington State (community property) and our understanding is we can simply note an agreed upon amount. I'm unsure if a judge will question this and I'm also unsure if when the day comes my stbx will still be agreeable on the "fair" amount.