I really need help dealing with recent divorce

IcyMycologist4837 · 2025-11-01T20:48:27+00:00

I have good job and health but still went through all those things you are experiencing. It’s just a process and takes time. You are not unique. But you need to accept that you and her are no longer or this will be 10x more difficult. I don’t think antidepressants are your solution. Maybe temporarily. Don’t put her on a pedestal or compare future partners to her. She chose not to be with you. Move on bro. Sry. It may take time to heal but make progress because life is short and use your time wisely. Good luck.

NilesGuy · 2025-10-31T19:11:14+00:00

OP there had to been red flags that you missed . Regardless, why grieve over someone who’s love wasn’t real nor who they are . Anyone willing to abandon a long term relationship with no mercy , no legitimate reason doesn’t deserve your love nor respect. Ask yourself would you have wanted this to happen in your 50s or 60s or now that you’re still young ? You have time to rebuild your life and start over . Take advantage of the situation to remake yourself . Remember your relationship with her doesn’t define who you are . It’s you who defines yourself. Cut her off completely and move forward.

Known_Paramedic_2967 · 2025-10-31T15:38:56+00:00

I know the replies you received are helpful for me. I feel terrible as well. I am almost 56, my ex had at least 1 affair, I feel completely alone and I feel like I will never have any friends again. it’s been a year since the divorce and my ex seems to be stalking me even though i changed my phone number. I need to find others bad and I just don’t know how to go about doing it.

Own_Maybe9468 · 2025-10-31T12:53:47+00:00

You will be happy again
You need to accept being alone temporary, but it doesn't mean you will be.
Well, she cheated on you, so she is not as good as you think. You need some time for the filter to be removed. Focus on the hurtful things she said to move on for now.
You are lovable, that's why you have her in the first place. She just stops loving you, but it says nothing about you. That's something to do with her.
You will find someone if you want to, maybe it will take a long time but you eventually will. There are 8 billion in the world. You will get there. Go to a different place, a different country. You will find one.
We all are. You will just find someone who is older but the same inside.
Well, she already left you. You are on your own and forced to learn. You will learn to be not needy when you have no one to go to.
You had the best year. You were happy with her. The ending doesn't change the process. You are just at different stage of life now.

Noobinpro · 2025-10-31T09:12:57+00:00

I recommend John Griffin on YouTube.

No-Dream512 · 2025-10-31T07:41:28+00:00

Mine left 7 months ago after 31 years together. I'm mid 50's. I associate with virtually every one of those points you list in your post and everyone I've spoken to about this has said much the same so it seems that you are totally normal like the rest of us. You are going through grief and it's going to take time to work through it. Obviously this first year you will have all the firsts like your birthday on your own, Christmas etc which will be tough.

Unfortunately there are no shortcuts to get through this but I will say that hanging out with others will make it easier. It won't be easy to do this but force yourself to do it even if you can only manage an hour at a time.

If you don't have someone to share your innermost thoughts then pay to see a therapist. After being in a long term relationship you need to rediscover yourself . Who were you before your significant other? I know I struggle to remember even simple things like favourite foods, things to do, and even my favourite colour.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-10-31T06:12:52+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are having a tough time. You are not alone.
Life is not fair and we have to accept and deal with it and make the best that we can with what we have.
Have you been to therapy to help you through this?
What can you do to make you feel better today? What do you like to do? Can you start a new hobby?
Be yourself and be happy and proud of who you are and the rest will fall into place.
Like Churchill said, if you are going through hell, keep on going. It will get better with time my guy!

ClippedWinng · 2025-10-31T04:48:57+00:00

You're still under her spell. I used to feel similarly until I went through the stages of grief and now I'm stuck between anger and acceptance.

Keep doing what you're doing with therapy and antidepressants. I do both as well. Exercise and hobbies and good too. I started nightly walks and listening to self help books and now I'm going to hot yoga 2-4 times a week.

One thing I did is sit down and think of the things I disliked in our relationship. I wrote i down in an online journal. I randomly look at that list and update it when I remember something new. I started with small annoyances which to progress to bigger issues. It helped with seeing how much better off I will be when this divorce is finalized.

Title	I really need help dealing with recent divorce
Author	TheMindfulWarrior9
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	October 30, 2025 7:10 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ok8qj2/i_really_need_help_dealing_with_recent_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-really-need-help-dealing-with-recent-divorce.1565443 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565443

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