I’m so so tired

cherrybar12 · 2025-01-12T19:02:12+00:00

Right there with you brother. I’m 18’months in and the water is fine. Don’t despair, see this as a challenge and be better than she. You too can do it, just like me and many others. You’ve got this!

Spirited_Werewolf295 · 2025-01-11T21:38:29+00:00

I recommend checking out Dr. Maika Steinborn on YouTube. While watching her videos doesn't get rid of my pain, I find some comfort in her explanations of why we feel as we do following divorce; and she provides some ideas for moving forward. Here's one video that I particularly like: https://youtu.be/-3aVTme1dZI?si=D7GQAq4vXf6-abhM

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-01-11T18:14:47+00:00

Congrats mate. You only have one direction to go.....up. Lay out a plan to earn more money (working overtime, working for a promotion, starting a side hustle/gig). You have 50% off from parenting so plenty of time to improve your financial situation.

Join your local gym. Get jacked AF and make friends/grilfriends.

When you do have your child focus 100% on them.

You have the life most married men would kill for. Being a single father is utopia. Once you get over your ex you will realize that. You have to give it another year or so. No shortcuts.

icemountainisnextome · 2025-01-11T15:26:26+00:00

I'm right there with you minus a child luckily. Signed paperwork with the realtor two days ago and listing our house next week. Moving into a shit 1br apartment. Lost my wife, my cars, my home. Starting ALL over at 36. The only upside is the money Im getting from the house but that doesn't replace the love I have for my ex-wife.

warrior_up · 2025-01-11T15:04:06+00:00

She’s got dozens of thirsty simps hitting her up online and have been for months maybe year. That’s why she’s so stoic

She will come back in 8-10 months to see if you’re still a mess and she can have you back.

Sorry bro, you’re in the early stages, I can tell you all a day that soon you’ll be looking back laughing and embarrassed for how emotional and pathetic you were, worries your life would be over and you could never replace this one women

Haaa. Just wait my friend. Not only will you replace but this will end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Just gotta get through the mud so you’re thinking clearly again

Everyone says this, but practice the art of STFU and go to gym. Get your T levels checked get on TRT and keep lifting and lifting and eventually you’ll remember that she’s the one who fucked up and lost the best thing that ever happened to her

Don’t worry. Her fantasy will hit a hard brick wall very very soon. And she’ll be standing there after getting dumped by 6-10 dudes after they used her for sex Stay away from single moms

No-Tree-4267 · 2025-01-11T13:52:12+00:00

I went through a similar situation: completely blindsided by the situation, in denial, and dealt with months of being treated with cold isolation.

It’s been nearly a year now since this all started and I can relate with you about the initial months and how your perception of time feels.

What helped me was realizing that I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does, especially while in a committed marriage. A 10 year relationship, married for 3 - feeling invisible and like a stranger in my own home. Constantly blamed for every small thing and essentially being treated as if every single problem in our relationship was my fault, without her ever willing to have a hard conversation about any of it. It took me even longer to realize that regardless of how I felt about my STBXW, I had to account for how I felt about myself and reflect on how she had treated me leading up to the agreeing to divorce. I had lost weight, I wasn’t sleeping, and had essentially given up on myself because I was overwhelmed and at my limit.

I decided to get help and met with a counselor. Through those meetings I was able to sort out my feelings, I was able to speak my truth to someone and have someone hold me accountable for my thoughts and actions. It helped me find a path out of where I was. I encourage you to find someone, seeing as you’re in a location right now where it doesn’t appear that you do have anyone, but I would stress the importance of meeting with someone in person, as I think it helps more than through a screen to build a connection and find trust.

It’s not an easy road, and it takes time, accountability, and self reflection to recognize that where you are now is not where you will be forever. That you have to advocate for yourself and seek help when you are at your lowest.

I can tell you that where I am now is worlds away from where I was last year. I’ve worked hard on myself, FOR myself, and I absolutely believe that you can find your way out too.

This community has been an incredible place for me to read others stories and realize I’m not alone in this situation. Keep reading the posts here, it helped me immeasurably as it will show you how common our situations are and that many of those like us in this situation have the power to get to a better place. If you ever need someone to speak to, feel free to DM me and I’d be happy to give you support.

Long-Review-1861 · 2025-01-11T12:56:22+00:00

I'll never understand how women can "break up in their heads" months or years before you even know anything is wrong

LowCurrency2512 · 2025-01-11T09:03:35+00:00

Keep trudging, brother. I know I’ve had many dark days like this, but it’s always darkest before the dawn

dnbndnb · 2025-01-11T05:14:16+00:00

You sir need to spend some time binge watching this YouTube channel to better understand what you’re going through. It’s not so much “red pill” content as it’s educated stoicism.

https://youtube.com/@john-griffin?si=G4f65h39Tv3AXf-8

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-01-11T04:48:15+00:00

Mine said she fell out of love. Grey rocked me while I tried to fix things until I gave in. Six months later I’m getting paid, buying a house cause rent sucks here. I gotta make life easy for my kids.

It gets better with time, bro. Sorry this is happening to you.

Faceater25 · 2025-01-11T04:32:16+00:00

My wife said she never loved me. She only cared about me.

This is really common and she hung around for 5 years married but 9 total pretending to be my everything and best friend. I realized to waste my time. Next thing I know she is calling some stranger husband and telling him she loves him. I sacrificed everything for her and he got everything for free.

After we filed a few months later a topic came up and she, a cheater, said that men shouldn’t result to violence when they are cheated on that this is immature. Bro you just ruined someone’s life and a kids life with infidelity. Your sin of Sloth is literally evil worse than your sin of Lust. The inability to leave. I told her i understood why a guy would want revenge. She called me stupid and immature if i ever did that. There is no hope for her. One day she will break the heart of the wrong man and she will be tortured and unalived.

Sorry you are going through this. And your kid. Big hugs. Everything will get better. Let us stay strong.

Title	I’m so so tired
Author	thelongroad94
Upvotes	33
Comments	19
Date	January 11, 2025 4:26 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hynyyz/im_so_so_tired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-so-so-tired.1540896 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540896

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