There one day and gone the next

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-11-17T21:58:23+00:00

When it's out of nowhere it's because there is usually someone else

grimxluna4ever · 2024-11-17T21:08:42+00:00

Be careful living in the same home with her. Go retain an attorney. Now.

pieperson5571 · 2024-11-17T10:45:04+00:00

She's gone. the sooner you accept that and start enjoying your freedom the happier you will be.

Heal away from her and do better.

Updateme.

Gattsama · 2024-11-17T08:09:38+00:00

Sorry for the drama brother. Here's the short answer, you are trying to use logic and reason to understand her. But she is operating of emotions and feelings. You are never going to get a satisfactory answer about why. You need to let why go. It doesn't matter. What matters are her actions and choices.

You are going to be ok. In fact, you most likely will be great. Being in an unhealthy relationship with someone who is unworkable is a horrible way to go through life.

A man needs to be fit: physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and financially fit. Focus ofln that. The pain, depression, grief, etc. It all goes away. And if you focus on being fit, ultimately, you stop even caring about the old relationship. That might sound impossible or crazy currently, but I'm here to tell you millions of men have come before you, and we are on the other side thriving. At the same time, some guys never recover. The biggest thing affecting the outcome is how you choose to release and let go of what is outside your control and instead focus on what is under your control.

It sucks and it's hard. I did 17 years with the eX. She was my first love, I was a virgin when we meant, and I poured my everything into the relationship. However, we were not healthy together, and we were not workable. Try to step back and think about the life you truly want to live, then start to take steps to create that.

Good luck and stay safe...

Confident-Crawdad · 2024-11-16T18:51:14+00:00

It's the duplicity. Lying and lying every day right to your face.

Which apparently is easier than having a mature conversation.

Altruistic_Award7003 · 2024-11-16T17:18:31+00:00

15 years (10 married) for me man, put me through hell. Wild shit man for sure

dadplup · 2024-11-16T16:35:17+00:00

The way my ex did it? was because she had someone waiting in the wind for her already every time, then they would change their mind, we stayed together for 10 years after that but they were the most miserable years I've ever had, it ended finally when I made her leave the house in 21, and 6 months later the divorce I filed was finalized.

She had already checked out the first time she was just bidding her time, and so was i, we wouldn't talk, we wouldn't do anything together really, and had a dead bedroom for the last 6 years before it ended.i really with it by gathering information, I was preparing for things to go bad, while trying to still see what could be done to fix things, I suggested individual therapy which she agreed to until the therapist was about to diagnose her as npd, then she refused to go back.

Our cases might be different but it never hurts to be prepared, just in case, it could be that she's listening to the wrong people or it could be a whole lot of different things, without more info is hard to tell, only you can find out the reason why, maybe she was never happy with the resolution of your issues and hoped she could live with it and became too much. Bottom line? Be prepared

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2024-11-16T14:10:57+00:00

Men are typically direct communicators. Women are typically indirect communicators and good at hiding motive and intent.

Odds are good that this was not a sudden decision for her, but one she had been planning for some time. This gives her time to process the emotion that you are suddenly dealing with.

Try to find 1-2 good male friends to confide in. Men. Not women. You are going to experience all 5 aspects of grief in this process. This will be normal.

You will survive. Surround yourself with people that can give good advice. Lawyers for law. Therapists for emotional. Gym bros for working out. Men for being a man. Etc.

This is going to take time and the only way out is through. Eyes forward. Proverbs 4:25-27 if you are Bible inclined. Good advice anyway if you are not.

Great-Researcher1650 · 2024-11-16T12:32:23+00:00

I'm in the same place. Don't try to understand it. Just focus on living. That's all you can do. Get out of there ASAP. Also, don't do the "please baby, please." It is what it is. Build yourself up, get counseling, find support in your group of people, and do what you can to move forward. If she completely isolated you, build a new group of people to surround you.

warwww · 2024-11-16T11:34:59+00:00

Oblige her. Don’t pine, mourn the relationship asap and move on. She has shown you that she is not wife material.

Please for the love of God do not beg her. I’m sick of men going this route. It makes them feel empowered in the worst way. You are worth something as well. Mines would get livid when I attempted to speed up the process. It was as if she was upset I was not hurt or in pain. I was happy to get a quitter out of my life. My ONLY pain stems from the loss of a family unit my kids will never have. Now they’ll get society’s standard parenting model. Queue blended families, stepdads, flings boyfriends etc. Crazy stuff but you must move on from her at warp speed.

Trip_2 · 2024-11-16T11:30:49+00:00

My wife pretends everything is ok, her motivation is money, she has convinced herself that she will out live me and will just stick around until it happens. (Yes we are an are couple).

VNM0601 · 2024-11-16T07:53:13+00:00

Because women are not as committed as we men are. When we say “til death do us apart” we mean it. What they mean when they say it is “til death do us apart or until I fall out of love.” And they usually quiet quit the marriage before they actually tell you. It’s more convenient for them to continue sucking the resources dry and to have a loving and supportive husband with them while they move on from the relationship. I’ll never commit to another woman again.

Rollercoaster72 · 2024-11-16T07:35:43+00:00

No she doesn’t feel any loss she feels relieve. The feelings of the dumper and the dumped are greatly described in “rebuilding - when your relation ends” from Bruce Fisher … It’s a rollercoaster but eventually you will at the end feel relieved too. You don’t want to live with a person who is able to do that…

Totally sucks for now brother and it will take a lot of time

DaddyNoBux · 2024-11-16T07:29:47+00:00

There’s no point comprehending it.

To do so is to try and understand the female mind.

Here’s a tip.

Go and study nuclear fission. You’ll get a bigger return on your investment and it’s way easier to figure out.

But I’ll tell you this brother.

She’s done you the biggest favour ever. She’s gave you your life back.

DrakaninX · 2024-11-16T06:45:44+00:00

I dont know brother my wife of 18 years just told me she wanted to separate and maybe divorce? I dont know. Its fucking wild

Title	There one day and gone the next
Author	thelongroad94
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	November 16, 2024 6:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gsh84u/there_one_day_and_gone_the_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/there-one-day-and-gone-the-next.1535922 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535922

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