It’s such a drastic change

smoth123 · 2021-02-05T23:20:24+00:00

Pretty much my story, she has not to my knowledge accused me of an affair, otherwise the same. I am a year and a half out and am coming to realize that she was kind of always shitty to people who she had disagreements with, so it isn't surprising to me anymore what happened to us. For like 6 months all I heard about was how all the shitty things I did were my fault yet all the shitty things she did was also my fault. Like wtf.. I have pretty much moved on, but looking back I can't believe I had my head in the sand about it for so long. All the best man, it will all become clear with time.

menotme20 · 2021-02-06T18:51:23+00:00

This is very similar to my story as well. Seems to be common. The wife changes, the husband tries to support her change but is somehow made out to be the villain. My soon to be ex wife is doing this right now. I’m with you man. How can someone change so fast like that and decide that YOU are the problem and then not even want to work on the marriage? Here is what I know to be true about myself and I’m sure you do too. You are a good person. You are a good husband. You are a great father. She can’t see that but in the long run it doesn’t matter. Your heart knows who you are.

darthvadersgonnahate · 2021-02-05T22:56:34+00:00

It feels like I am reading my own story. I am sorry you are going through this.

jlmsquared · 2021-02-06T00:08:10+00:00

This is almost my story as well. My stbx filed two DV restraining orders against me. Just today the judge dropped them. It was a big relief. After 18 years together she has now completely alienated my daughter (15) from me. Tried the same with my son (17), but he lives with me now of his own choosing Listening to how she has twisted the past and other events to make me look like a monster. It’s been horrible. So I hear you brother just know that the truth will come out and you are not alone.

kg-prime · 2021-02-06T05:51:48+00:00

Therapist and crack lawyer. From your wife behavior, I think you need a smart female lawyer (who can understand and help you plan it out). Usually, women are more intelligent and plan it out for years so you need to catch up fast.

Be careful any lingering hopes and feelings does not stop you from doing what has to be done. Get serious.

Mavik52 · 2021-02-09T02:36:29+00:00

I can't remember the exact citing of this so don't hold my feet to the fire. It's a common occurrence in long term relationships between men and women where the men typically remember a large portion of the positive experiences which contribute to the difficulty of the relationship ending. And women tend to psychologically block out the positive and recall the negative or they reframe or rewrite events in their memory based on feelings and not actual facts. You could have done many things factually correct, but if her feelings at the time where highly charged and negative, those will color the recollection of the events and drastically change the perspective. This is probably why we all see very similar versions of this same thing play out. We can't fathom how our wives can just out of nowhere become someone different and be ready to just walk out. In her mind based on her emotional recollection, we are clearly broken and evil men who have committed horrible acts. Not based on facts, but how they felt at the time.

TastyWheat67 · 2021-02-10T08:13:09+00:00

Sounds like my story. I've been 100% loyal and supportive for 30 years. She betrayed me 6 years ago and would never admit to it.
A teacher put my son in intensive care for 4 days and lied to me about what happened. My wife backed the school and I it broke my brain and my heart. Our marriage never recovered. It's such a nice unbelievable story that it sounds like fiction.

This bitch was once my whole world. I was the most devoted, supportive husband ever. I was prepared to live with someone that I despise, for the good of the family unit. Mostly because we have reversed roles and I stay home with the kids.

Now she's abandoned our family because she makes all the money. She says that it's for the good of the family. I can't wait for her to explain that to the judge. It's going to work out very well for me. Takeaways: Control your anger, she will work to make you look bad. Don't help her destroy you.
If you can't be cordial, don't be around her. Play the long game, she may be so impulsive that she'll shoot herself in the foot if you don't do it first. Remember that you aren't defined by what you think or feel, but by what you do. Maintain your integrity at all times, just imagine that you're being filmed because you might be. At the end of the day, don't allow any woman control over your feelings.
No way. Never again.
I thought for two decades that I had won the marriage lottery, then she lost her fucking mind. Hang in there.

daproest1 · 2021-02-13T00:33:07+00:00

They all do that. Light switch effect. Look into it. They literally rearrange their memories. Nothing good u ever did happened. Only the bad, and they’ll amplify it. And here’a the kicker, they believe it

CHEPO1966 · 2021-03-10T00:52:45+00:00

With all due respect, but you are the culprit, a man always has to be honest, and you had an AE, with your employee, and you told her, you destroyed her emotionally and now you want me to act differently, I'm sorry, but he Damage that you caused, to this woman, it shows that it was great, assume your mistakes with a stoic man.

Title	It’s such a drastic change
Author	mercybull
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	February 5, 2021 8:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ldg029/its_such_a_drastic_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-such-a-drastic-change.1192984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192984

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