Hi everyone, thanks for all the supportive responses to my Original Post, I really appreciate the time and thought so many people have given. This feels like a very lonely time, and I’m very grateful for the feeling of support so many people have collectively generated.  

There have been some developments since I first posted, and I'd really appreciate if you could please go through the Original Post.  

Firstly while she was still hostile and uncommunicative because I wasn’t agreeable for IVF, my wife out of the blue said she was leaving on a holiday on her own next month, and then would be leaving home in November and bringing her parents to live with her in a separate flat. While I had gone out, she had a 3 hour yelling session at my frail mother (who lives with me since my father passed away) which really left her stunned and dazed.    

Analysing things, I told my wife that the idea of us going for an IVF without the marriage being in a stable place was not something I could agree to, and that if this was a red line, we should separate by mutual consent.  

A few days later, she came around and started saying that we should “Give us one more chance” and that she recognised there were things wrong with her but that I “should not tear us apart”. Her whole demeanour changed, she started behaving very politely, and yesterday, after nearly 2 months of sleeping in another bedroom asked if I wanted her to come back to sleeping with her. I told her I didn’t. That she had left me feeling very disposable and pathetic, and I didn’t think it was a good idea. I told her I didn’t want to be doing something mean to her, but I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to come back. She started with the usual tearful anger, and stormed out.  

I know a lot of us have been through a lot of harsh situations, and it probably would influence our assessments, but do you have any thoughts on what has happened? I’m just feeling very unsure, I recognise this is not a healthy relationship, but I’ve never had a healthy one and have very poor self-esteem. I’m just uneasy about this being as good as it gets for me.