Please give me all the divorce advice you can!!! Trying to search through here is fine, but it would be nice to have a single thread I can just pull up and take notes from. There’s just too much that comes up in any blanket search. I know I’m probably the billionth guy to do this but I’m overwhelmed and exhausted already.

Situation: I (betrayed husband -35) am finally putting down my retainer with the attorney. I’ve received hard proof she recently tried to contact the AP a few times. Cheating wife (34) has no idea I’m doing this; honestly I don’t think she really believes I’m capable of it. But I’m ready to go scorched earth as much as possible as far as finances and custody.

The first thing I’m doing (on the advice of my attorney) is splitting the joint accounts in half - to the penny, and opening a separate account in my name only.

Wife currently has no job, though she been looking really hard for one. I own a business and am already making the move to start doing the majority of my work from home as my responsibilities do allow for that, with only one day a week in my shop.

We have one child that attends school and one that is homeschooled. Our youngest isn’t old enough for school yet. Working from home would allow me to do the homeschooling as well as my work with zero difficulties.

Questions: 1) Wife has “claimed” that if we ever divorced she has no interest in going after my business because she doesn’t want to “mess up the kid’s future inheritance”. - What is the best way to get this in writing so it sticks in court?

2) Obviously, as the dad/man, I’m typically at an automatic disadvantage. What have you fathers/husbands done that has helped you retain the most assets while still making sure the kids are taken care of fairly?

3) I wish there was a way to get full custody just because the feeling that she doesn’t deserve them after all she’s done to wreck our marriage. That being said, what are the best strategies you have found to ensure you have the most access to your children post-divorce. Is there really a difference between “shared parenting” and “shared custody”?

4) What little details do you wish you had known before you went through divorce? Either in general or as a man/father specifically.

I’ll divulge that I am located in Ohio in the US so if anyone has any pertinent advice for my state that would be awesome. I need practical advice on gaining the most out of custody and assets. I don’t want to “destroy her” or even be contentious if I don’t have to. I just want to make sure I get the best outcome for myself and my children without getting anally probed too hard.

Thanks in advance.