Going through the mill, fucked up sooooo badly with an affair during separation. BPD viper (r/bpdlovedones) called my stbx to ‘set her straight’ about me. She said horrible things to my stbx to punish me. Of course stbx has told all our mutual friends ALL the stupid things I told the bpd in a self-immolating haze of pussy and naivety. HORRIBLE, and ALL MY FAULT. Yeah I was thinking with my dick (after years in a r/deadbedroom)…colossal stupidity. My world in ashes. How do I survive? How do I start getting over this? How do I rebuild my life? How do I avoid killing myself over the shame, the guilt, the humiliation? AND this happened less than a month ago. I am so LOST.

And I came here to commiserate and find guidance and support. So numb and empty, so sick, literally ill…