Ok, wife was aggressively pressing ahead with silver bullet divorce, lawyers letters every other week, false accusations of agression. I was kicking the can down the road. They wrote to me at the at the very start of October to say I was delaying and I could expect a filing any day. From what I have read and heard from this point it’s about 10 days but never two months.

I then met by chance a pretty cool & decent divorced guy through friends who used to work with my wife. We were talking about our divorces and he said she had a significant & lengthy affair (with a guy she spoke about to me and I had concerns about) around the time my son was born.

My son regrettably looks nothing like me and is the image of this man (I was able to access his wife’s instagram and download lots of photos). ChatGPT gave a familial resemblance to my adult son and I of 61% and this man and my son of 92%. The resemblance is startling.

Shortly after the lawyers letter I refer to above saying they were filing I casually threw into a conversation with my wife that I had heard this man (AP but she doesn’t know I know) had had a child with a woman at her job out of wedlock and that it was a big secret that everyone knew about. Wife was visibly shaken & stressed by this, passing it off with some bizarre comment about how he loves his wife. She hasn’t been the same since. Shes now spending a lot of time in her room and staring blankly at her phone.

The odd thing however is the divorce filing hasn’t happened nearly two months later despite their initial eagerness.

My lawyer is convinced there’s something significant going down here and she feels I pressed on a nerve. Apparently my wife’s lawyer will be reluctant to name the children of the marriage in her filing if there’s any doubts over paternity.

She’s also suggesting lying in the long grass to see their next move.

Do you think I could be onto something? I’m uncertain how I would react if he’s not mine and I’m really not happy doing a DNA test this side of Christmas.

It really is a right can of worms for everyone involved, not least my son. I really feel very sorry for him and my other children who will no doubt be affected terribly by all this.

From my point of view I will have raised another man’s son for two decades due to my wife’s lies & deciet, for any self respecting man this is a significant blow and will have lifelong repercussions on me.

As to the AP, his wife and his four adult children this could also present a challenge.