Parenting conflict

HistoricalRich280 · 2026-03-09T06:07:34+00:00

Solidarity. My expectations on the kids are low the first 24 hours and don’t fully think they are acclimated til day 3.

I think that’s just how it is when they are going back and forth.

You can have different expectations than the ex, and ask kids to adhere, but as they are going from one house to another, have to loosen those expectations a bit

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-09T00:29:58+00:00

How old are your children?

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-07T23:17:56+00:00

Get professional child development advice

HotCut100 · 2026-03-07T22:18:00+00:00

It’s still early, you need to work on establishing the norms and boundaries so they know exactly what to expect. I’m not the Disneyland parent, but I’m not overly strict by any means either. That doesn’t change the fact that for the first 24 hours, there is an acclamation phase. In their mom‘s house, the oldest one is pushed towards parent vacation and so that’s the focus for the first 24 hours. For the youngest, we just encouraged them to use their inside voice instead of yelling about everything. It gets better, but you have to be consistent and read their needs.

DarthDad25 · 2026-03-07T21:32:59+00:00

Stop focusing on what your ex is doing wrong and focus on what you can do right! Having structure, routine, responsibilities with you half the time is better than none at all. Try engaging in the responsibilities with your kids. I often help my children clean their rooms, pick up the living room. I set a timer and tell them if we can do it in less than 10 minutes then we get to play a board game or watch a new movie. Make a game of it. Over time I no longer had to help them. They just did it.

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-03-07T21:12:21+00:00

There is only so much you can do. It’s a fine line between making sure you maximize your time with them and reinforcing discipline. I just try and do the right thing and think about how the kids will view this when they are grown up. I want them to look back and recognize that I was always the one trying to be nice and keep things together while their Mom was always playing stupid games and causing drama

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-03-07T20:56:07+00:00

What and how are you teaching them the opposite?

Her ease is in opposition to structure and rigidity; relaxing your own style, perhaps by starting relaxed and titrating up, could help.

SoftSofiHeaven · 2026-03-07T20:55:14+00:00

it’s still very early after the divorce. Idk why but i think kids often test boundaries a lot during that adjustment period, especially when the two homes feel very different. I think it's not always about discipline failing.

Title	Parenting conflict
Author	Dull-Stick2040
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	March 7, 2026 8:42 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rnksk9/parenting_conflict/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/parenting-conflict.1574945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574945

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