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bungleweed · 2026-06-25T18:45:08+00:00

If you don’t have kids I think you need to go no contact. You ain’t going to move on like this. Accept it’s over. Yes it’s hard, yes it’s sad and difficult but you owe it to yourself now to do this. Be strong and do it! Your future self will thank you.

All this back and forth is pointless. She’s just playing you and deflecting the blame on to you. Don’t fall for it and try and move on now. You don’t need any more answers or closure. You already have it and her actions will always be far more telling than her words.

You need to focus on yourself and self improvement/development. That of course means different things to different people but fitness is a good area. Home improvements. Do stuff that makes you feel better about yourself and your living space. Start there. Just some suggestions. Also get out and meet people, do the things you enjoy for yourself.

Think about what you need to improve and focus on and put your energy and mind into that. It will feel hard and a little pointless at first but you’ll slowly feel some purpose and momentum which builds and builds, then you won’t be looking back but forwards.

mistake-number2 · 2026-06-25T09:18:09+00:00

The blaming is her way to justify her actions. No guarantee if she cheated physically or not, unless there is proof. Cut contact unless it is about the dogs.

Dont let her play games. She will make comments that will seem you should chase her. She is either gonna figure where she screwed up or not. Just make sure you acknowledge any accountability on your end. Fix it and move foward. Its what i had to do.

gammaglobe · 2026-06-25T03:26:27+00:00

Agree with all replies. Many hear been thru this stuff. This type of women have no rational control of their emotional. It's a 🤡 in the driver seat. Whatever comes they go there. She is messed up and you have no control over that. Pay no attention to her words.

Adopt strict no contact rule. Get on with treating your withdrawal symptoms.

Anxious-One-2365 · 2026-06-24T22:28:22+00:00

Classic no accountability taken on her part. Doubt it was just an emotional affair. I hope you had her move out and you kept the dogs!

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-24T20:46:35+00:00

Dude, you have to stop believing her. It was not just emotional, and if you stayed it wouldn't have changed a thing. This is just the playbook move to ease her conscience of cheating and leaving. No kids no contact.

One_Display9423 · 2026-06-24T20:31:41+00:00

Her blaming you saying how you walked out and if you would've stayed this wouldn't have happened is just her taking the accountability off herself. There's nothing you could've done by that point. Just accept that she's gone and be glad you don't have kids and that the divorce is finalized. Save yourself the humiliation from her and stop trying to fix something that doesn't exist anymore.

curiouszm · 2026-06-24T20:10:17+00:00

The person you were with for almost 13 years no longer exists, time to learn being single and enjoying it.

When you aren't in that sad state it might be helpful to sit quietly and ask yourself "what did I really like about her/being with her?"

I realised I was miserable for somebody that mostly gave me a difficult time to be around her, never appreciated anything I did... That got me enjoying my solitude quicker than I thought.

Best of luck bud.

LoveCrispApples · 2026-06-24T19:51:26+00:00

No children? Block her on all fronts. Not to be petty or vindictive but to deny her access to the man you are trying to be.

bluephotoshop · 2026-06-24T19:39:05+00:00

You should have stayed, and instructed her to move out. Too late now.

ConfidentHyena2662 · 2026-06-25T13:23:46+00:00

DARVO= Deny Accusations Reverse Victim & Offender

Title	Posted on other threads
Author	stick_ll
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	June 24, 2026 7:08 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uemsnn/posted_on_other_threads/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/posted-on-other-threads.1583554 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583554

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