Ruined it

CrazySanta7 · 2025-11-20T15:19:38+00:00

Men wont tell you to your face that the sex was bad.

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2025-11-19T22:31:02+00:00

I had a really good lady friend do that to me but we didn't actually get to sex. She crossed a boundary that I wasn't ready for and now I no longer talk to her. She was a friend for 30 years too. She made it weird and I'll never understand it.

Factastical · 2025-11-19T21:34:06+00:00

Did something "different" happen? Did you ask him something he may not have experienced before? Did you get more freaky than he expected? If he was into it as much as you think he was, he would be coming back for dinner and a movie, every other night. So something is missing here.

callbobloblaw · 2025-11-19T19:42:57+00:00

Putting myself into his shoes, I think he is scared that this is going to become a “real relationship” now that you’ve had sex, and he might not be ready for that. I’m 40 and been going through a separation recently, and if I were to get divorced, I honestly don’t think I’d really want to date again after that. Edit: to follow up, you gotta decide if you’re ok with the possibility of never having a typical relationship together and just being friends with benefits - if so, he would probably want to hear that you’re not trying to jump into a relationship and that he can think of it as just a fun night you shared.

Factastical · 2025-11-19T18:10:34+00:00

I don't know of any straight man that would be confused by good sex. Something is missing here

Coffeecankicker · 2025-11-19T17:31:56+00:00

Why are women infiltrating this sub and why aren’t mods. Doing something about its

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-11-19T17:14:02+00:00

Adult men and women cannot be best friends without sexual attraction. How’s he going to explain this to the woman he’s dating?

hazalo9 · 2025-11-19T16:05:15+00:00

I think you're in the wrong sub. But FYI, every man that is your friend waits for that opportunity to sleep with you. Men can have sex with anyone but not anyone can be a man's partner. Just ignore him now and have him come to you.

notconvinced780 · 2025-11-19T15:54:00+00:00

If he’s your best friend, can you send him a note saying that he’s seemed distant lately and been giving you one word/short answers that end conversation and it makes you sad. You loved the physical intimacy you shared but even without that, you have a full blown friendship that should endure whether future physical intimacy is desired, something you guys are open to or not. Can you guys get together and discuss what you guys each want?

HistoricalRich280 · 2025-11-19T05:52:42+00:00

I think you need to give it some space for a bit.

Often we feel that we are reviewing potential candidates for certain roles in our lives. But their interest vs what we decide to cast them as is likely not identical. Even in the case that you both wanted to date.

Or be married. My spouse and I disagreed entirely as to what that would look like.

Seems he isn’t romantically interested. Or at least I would definitely take it as such unless he clearly, in words and actions, tells you otherwise.

The friendship will need some air and maybe you can reconnect that way. If not, you will slowly move on.

Confident-Slide9165 · 2025-11-19T04:59:34+00:00

Please give him good head everytime you meet without him asking. You'll always have his friendship. This has to be an unconditional deed!

demonic_sensation · 2025-11-19T04:58:12+00:00

r/datingoverforty

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-11-19T04:45:02+00:00

I think, unfortunately, everything is ruined. I’m not sure you ruined it - he’s a grown man with his own agency and ability to say yes or no - but it does sound like he’s not interested in working it out.

Sorry this happened to you but better it happen now then ten years and a marriage down the road.

dober88 · 2025-11-19T04:42:29+00:00

Don’t ask us, ask him

NoRequirement8110 · 2026-01-02T20:29:08+00:00

Update to this. We are a couple now!

Title	Ruined it
Author	NoRequirement8110
Upvotes	9
Comments	27
Date	November 19, 2025 4:29 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1p0y1ya/ruined_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ruined-it.1566851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566851

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