I knew she was gone in the summer, when she hired a lawyer for a “consult”, to see why divorce would look like financially, for her.

Then I ran the stats…

40-50% divorce rate

70-80% of divorces are wife-initiated

Therefore 28-40% chance she was leaving.

Add to that she has ADD. And stats say a marriage with at least one partner with ADD have 2x the divorce rate.

So 56-80% chance she was leaving.

Felt like a stacked deck.

I couldn’t win

But I stayed. Because of the kids.

Daughter turns 11 in Feb, son turns 13 in March, and Id walk through fire for them

They have been so excited for Christmas and the holidays

We agreed not to tell them until after Christmas. So they can enjoy one last Christmas as a family.

But she kicked me out of the bedroom.

She can’t stay home in the evenings because her “nervous system” reacts poorly to being around me

So our kids are left saying “mom is never around” or not getting the traditions and holiday experience we agreed to provide them.

And I’m always home. Always the emotional support parent. Always the one to listen. And somehow Im not bashing their mom, to them.

And if I try to address any of it with her she tells me I’m controlling and emotionally abusive

So I just turn my focus on trying to love my kids.

Not sure where I’m going with this. Just wanted to get into this community and share my experience and situation. I would have no problem being done with her. That’s how life works. But hurting my kids is crushing my soul.

Pray for our peace please.