29M. I know I’m still young and my marriage was only 10 months, but this heartache is excruciating.

I thought I had it figured out. I thought we’d fight through the good and the bad. I thought we had just started the best ride of our lives.

She knew how to plan a wedding and get married. Clearly she wasn’t prepared for marriage itself. Completely blindsided me two months ago. 2 months after we suffered a miscarriage and this was her second one.

She was a heavy drinker and on anti-depressants our entire relationship. Embarrassed me at functions and always had to leave early because of her. Drank daily and it got worse after the loss of the baby. She knew how it made me feel but she didn’t care. She was a shell of herself and I couldn’t connect w/ her while in this state of mind.

I had hoped she’d change for me, for our marriage, and for our future. I finally stood my ground and enough was enough. However, she retaliated and filed for divorce at lightning speed. Now that it’s over I blame myself for everything. There was no cheating or abuse. Of course she claims emotional abuse. Yeah maybe a little bit once I was done repeating and begging for a change in her over the years.

I miss her or who she once was. I miss weekends with her. I miss the life we had and were building. It’s only been two months and will be final soon. Just never thought she’d give up so easy with no fight in her.