Been lurking for a few months. Together 10 years, married for 7. Have a 4yr. Before engagement there were flags, after engagement things really changed, it was noted but ignored. Then came the diagnosis, she is bipolar with heavy OCD and anxiety, likely BPD too. As I've stuck by her side and neglected family, work, etc to see her needs were met, I've never once received a thank you for standing by my side. The constant emotional toll, I am near the end of my rope. I keep thinking about not having the opportunity to be with my daughter all the time. Then thinking about the financial impact of having to liquidate the multiple properties and possible early retirement disappearing.

There is no excitement or laughter, kisses at bed and before one of us leaves is what were down to. Sex is maybe once a month. The constant judging of everything I do, no respect, no appreciation. On tough days, I am yelled at, called names, multiple faces. Often in front of the child. It's abuse, but for some reason its hard for me to walk away. I keep holding on to hope. She judges everyone, the never ending conversations about what's on her mind, my parents did, my sister did, etc. She has no self reflection and I am the problem. I often wonder if I am the problem, what is wrong with me that I cannot fix. I am going to therapy and he's helping me realize its not me, i get a little lost cause all I do is talk about what I experience that week, basically a bitch session. Our daughter is impacted, of course by the lack of love in the house, the yelling, and most concerning is that I know she feels or feeds off my wife emotions. Yesterday and Today were dark days with a lot of words fights, primarily because the child is severely out of control. She's threatened me a few times in arguments about divorce, telling me I will live in an apartment and maybe get 50/50.

She is SAHM, we agreed for her to take care of daughter, but also because 2 years ago she ended up in the psych ward for a night. Since them she's better medicated. She has the ability to work full time, I think it would be a really hard transition for her to do that. We'd have to get child care.

I consulted with an attorney a few weeks back, which is a big step, very emotional. She felt the case was pretty straight forward. She might get 6 months maintenance. Depending on what I wanted there were options we could pursue due to the mental health. If she wants child rights she has to work, if she can't work then she probably shouldn't have rights. We talked about guardian of litem as an option to help assess. Sometimes day to day is overwhelming for my wife, relies on Xanax to help situations. I am concerned about the parenting plan and the ability for her to try and move since no family exists near us. I am traveling a lot for work, the attorney suggested if I am going to do anything I should wait until it dies down.

I think in my wife mind she's seeing this out until the kid is 18. I know this is not healthy. I keep thinking about the impact on my daughter. So much potential for am amazing life for this family to have it thrown away for mental illness. Sorry for the long post, I feel like this is helping get some things of my chest. I just don't know at what point I pull the cord.

Cheers to each of you.