This thought came to me recently, felt like sharing.

It's this: she might be better off without you.

It sucks, but it's true. For all the hemming and hawing and venting and complaining and blaming we do, our exes may find more happiness with someone, something, somewhere else than we were ever able to give them.

That might sound like bad news, especially if you believe you were the problem, but it isn't... because the inverse also must be true: you can be better off without her.

The bottom line is that your happiness depends only on you from here on out. She's no longer a partner, so don't give her any control over that. You're divorced, divided, split asunder, gone your separate ways, irreconcilably differentiated. This is an ex-marriage, it's pushing up the daisies, pining for the fjords.

One wrinkle is you might find yourself chained to an insufferable co-parent for many long years like I am. But that doesn't mean you're doomed to stay in her shadow. She gets to make her own choices that can affect you, but it's up to you whether you put up with nonsense, and whether her bullshit stays rent-free in your head.

Not gonna lie, it would be very satisfying to me if my ex's life were to implode spectacularly. But I'm absolutely not hinging my happiness on it happening. In fact, I wouldn't get worked up if she lives happily ever after. After all, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And my indifference game is elite with all the reps I've been putting in lately.

Let's be real though, this road is scary. It's depressing. It's intimidating. It's really fucking lonely sometimes. But it's also liberating once you find peace and self worth.

Right now you're the only one in the driver's seat, my dude. Buckle up, leave her squarely in the rear view mirror, and head towards destiny.