Just kind of looking for opinions. Because I feel stuck, and I’m miserable.

Me(39) and wife(33) have been married 11 years. We have 2 kids together. She has 2 (13/15) that aren’t mine.

So, she was diagnosed with terminal lupus 2 years ago. They gave her 10 years to live. She also had part of a lung removed back in June because of the damage done by lupus.

She works, part time as a cna. Her yearly income is roughly 25k.

I work as a paramedic. I make 66k base.

When she got sick, the doctors ordered her off work. She refused to accept disability and instead demanded I work as much as needed to provide for the household. I did just that. I work an average of 100 hours a week, making 110k yearly.

I bought a home 2 months ago. The mortgage is in my name, but the deed is in both names.

We have been discussing divorce. Mainly due to her actions. She’s become a terrible person. We fight daily, she threatens me constantly, is constantly screaming at the kids. Just generally makes the home miserable. We are ALL happiest when she is gone to work.

She refuses to leave. I can’t afford to pay the mortgage AND rent another place. She has her own car, promising to pay the note, but had failed to pay it. Its loan is under my name, forcing me to pay the car note and insurance for her. I pay for groceries, all ultimatums, phone bills, health insurance….literally everything.

It’s gotten to the point she has flat out said she is gonna “get hers” by demanding alimony and child support. She has also threatened to “make sure [i] never see the kids again). And she means it.

2 years ago we separated. Next day I have child protective services and the cops at my door. She showed up at the ER with a black eye and said it was me who did it. Then said I beat the kids. Long story short, the investigation proved I did nothing. She then admitted she lied and was charged with 2 counts of falsifying a police report. She as able to Manipulate herself back into my home. Now here we are.

My question is, is it cheaper to keep her? I feel like staying there, I have a better chance protecting my kids. Staying there, I don’t have to move out. Or sleep in my car while paying a mortgage. Or pay child support or alimony.

Like, I’m trying to figure out which is worse. Staying and being miserable, or leaving, becoming homeless, seeing my kids less, and having little to no say in what my kids are going to go through if I’m not there.

My youngest is 9. So we are talking another 9ish years (if she lives that long).

Also what, if anything, would be impacted by her terminal illness? Custody? Amount of support? More alimony? Would she be more likely to get the home?

I’m stuck.