There is something about the "emotional baggage" argument that I genuinely don't understand.

I often hear people claim that a 40-year-old woman is "damaged" by the traumas, disappointments, and experiences she has accumulated throughout her life. Yet those same people will often argue that a 40-year-old man is wiser, more mature, and more valuable precisely because of his accumulated experiences.

My question is: what is the mechanism that makes life experiences strengthen men while damaging women?

Because if heartbreak, betrayal, rejection, and disappointment create emotional scars, they should be able to affect both men and women. And if those same experiences can produce wisdom, resilience, and maturity, they should be able to do so for both sexes as well.

I'm not arguing that age doesn't change people. Of course it does. What I don't understand is why the exact same experiences are interpreted as growth when they happen to men, but as deterioration when they happen to women.

Is there any serious evidence or reasoning behind this distinction, or is it simply an assumption that gets repeated within certain circles?