Explain to me why Hypergamy is not a real phenomenon.

ontheavenue123 · 2020-01-29T11:53:23+00:00

Because most people (men and women) look for love, a genuine connection, and a healthy relationship that meets their intellectual, emotional, and physical needs. The overwhelming majority of women aren’t going to sacrifice that just to be with a guy who is materialisticly successful.

bluescrew · 2020-01-29T13:14:42+00:00

All people given the choice will probably be with the person they like the most. For men that often means looks, kindness and youth more than anything. For women that often means confidence, kindness and intelligence more than anything. Note the common denominator. (And yes I am eliminating financial status because now that women outnumber men in the workforce it is hardly relevant to focus on the 5% of women who still expect to be financially supported by their partners especially since at least that same percentage of men are living off their female partners nowadays.)

If you are a good person in a healthy relationship you may be attracted to others but you will not choose to lose what you have in order to pursue something else that might not be as good. If you are a bad person or a passive weak person in a bad relationship, you might cheat. If you are a good person in a bad relationship, you will choose to leave and find something better. This applies equally to men and women but the term "hypergamy" as used by TRP seems to pretend that women are the only ones who can be deceptive, greedy, insecure or cruel.

My dad cheated on my mom with her best friend and even after getting the mistress pregnant he still wasn't willing to initiate the divorce and Mom had to do it. My cousin's husband cheated on her for years and when she died suddenly at 25 he married his side piece within months. My sister's ex constantly accused her of cheating because guess why... He was secretly cheating. After she kicked him out he escalated to stalking and physical assaulting her, while simultaneously moving in with his adultery partner. How is any of that different from hypergamy?

Inareskai · 2020-01-29T13:57:18+00:00

The other answers are all pretty good.

Turns out people (men and women) are capable of caring about more than materialism in relationships, and also that some people (men and women) are assholes who will cheat anyway.

I guess my main question is - explain to my what evidence there is for hypergamy being a real phenomenon? Like proper, actual evidence? because surely if hypergamy were totally real then society would just... uttery crumble. Also many, many women I know would not be in the relationships they're in.

Hellion_shark · 2020-01-29T17:01:18+00:00

It dosen't need to be explained. Look around.All the women I know are with men either equal or lower in social status or have been with such a man at some point. I've only known one gold digger. And even she had dated "lower" but the point is that to the person the one the yare dating is not "lower" they like what they like. Sometimes they have a savior complex, other times the guy is genuenly cool/nice/loyal. It's enough to talk to people to have this bullshit idea disproven.How do ugly guys / poor guys get girlfriends? It's not like they don't. We'd all be a generation of rich kids otherwise.

The problem women have in regards to "Hierarchy" is guys with no skills or interests, cause they sound like an unhealthy person. If anything - it's the higher skill that get's pussy than the higher pay.

bagoonga · 2020-01-29T12:26:53+00:00

Because not everyone is an animal whose sex drive is running constantly and taking up all of their existence. Some people don’t want to fuck everyone in the universe and have other non-sexual things to interest them.

RP people are so obsessed with sex that they can’t understand that.

coffeetablestain · 2020-01-30T00:32:17+00:00

Of course it happens. Just like abusive or unfaithful men in relationships are a thing.

But the majority of people want good relationships and stability and emotional intimacy.

Relationships are hard to do, have you even tried one? It's a lot of work to learn how to connect with another human in a fulfilling and rewarding way that lasts over a long period of time. Most reasonable or halfway intelligent people aren't going to throw this away because someone else tickled them in some way. Love is a real thing that people seek and nurture and maintain because it feels good. People who even have "hypergamy" on their mind are NOT in that kind of relationship or have not had a mutually loving and respectful relationship.

Mutually loving and respectful relationships are what most people pursue and so should you, that way you can stop worrying about your partner and instead have a partner you can talk to about your insecurities and get reassurance and establish boundaries together and plan a future of mutual respect and improvement together.

Straight-Science · 2020-01-30T21:43:09+00:00

It’s not sex-specific. People move from relationship to relationship for many reasons. Sometimes it’s upward, sometimes across, sometimes down, but people tend to do it. Marriages of convenience happen all the time, and many times not out of love or genuine connection.

DDay_woke · 2020-01-30T19:54:04+00:00

Why is the assumption that hypergamy is a bad thing?
How many women actually prefer, or view as neutral, a man shorter than them?
Do people here deny that women generally don't prefer men who are financially superior to them, on average?

Women play the selector in the overwhelmingly vast majority of sexual relationships, and they need to be careful in this regard. Hypergamy is the manifestation of this.

I dont think hypergamy is an objectively bad thing, btw, at all. Not in the slightest. Her biological imperative is to select a mate who will provide quality sperm and protection.

All the people thinking it doesn't exist maybe don't know what it is? It's women marrying at parity, or above their physical / social status. We see this all the time.

Not one response on this sub actually proves it doesn't exist. It just talks about people being in love, which is great and all, but the preferences we see in women for the men they select absolutely demonstrates hypergamy.

DD2398 · 2020-02-12T02:43:27+00:00

I think from a biological perspective the concept doesn't seem to make much sense.

As a generality lets say that many womens' goals are to get married and have kids. It takes relationship stability for that to happen which hypergamy would disrupt.

I think in this era, where many people have tonnes of student debt, can barely afford a car let alone a house, and earn minimum wage, I just think its an outdated concept. The fact is people settle down and have kids with those they are around, whether that be the working classs, the middle classes, or the upper classes. Its true that marrying up was an incentive in the past, but in a time where women can earn their own money, and get maternity leave, as well as an economy in which the middle classes are shrinking, its just a lot less likely or relevant. I think financial stability so that they can have the house and the kids and the car is what most people are looking for (so basically someone with a stable job).

Now in terms of getting a "best match", Id say women do this more whilst dating, before committing to someone. That would make the "best match" is idiosyncratic to each individual, which would upend this idea of men in society placed in some kind of "hierachy" by the 'woman hive mind'.

The only time I really see women shopping whilst they have a partner is when the relationship is rocky, and/or if she's just unfaithful. But that goes across the genders.

2020-01-29T11:10:28+00:00

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dolanmiu · 2020-05-27T11:30:45+00:00

I think hypergamy is real to some degree. I think the red-pill community is exaggerating the extent of hypergamy, but I think it does exist to some level.

There are overwhelming evidence of it in action on YouTube with the "gold-digger" pranks. That's literally hypergamy in action. You can debate that all those videos are fake of course, but thats another discussion.

Explain to me why Hypergamy is not a real phenomenon.

Comments

NotAllMen

Title	Explain to me why Hypergamy is not a real phenomenon.
Author	CarpetBurn12
Upvotes	8
Comments	65
Date	January 29, 2020 10:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/evlcjz/explain_to_me_why_hypergamy_is_not_a_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/explain-to-me-why-hypergamy-is-not-a-real.316439 https://theredarchive.com/post/316439