If you listened to any coach over the years you might have gotten the generic confidence advice and I truly believe that only some of them know what it actually is and what's it's not. But it's been used as a buzzword to sell you some magic bullet for click, when they can't even tell what it means themselves and I'll explain why. Firstly I'll get this put of the ways, there's nothing these guys can teach you that is outside of your self and everyone has a different set of circumstances, where they live, what sort of upbringing they had, educational background which is why there's never a cookie cutter solution. There's always an element of luck involved in everything and the best thing you can do is show up and keep trying till you get the results your after or the closet, and that's when progress is made, which is a start and learning point. It's all about trail and error, you can't game your way to feeling a way you don't feel right or believing you are a certain way without having things to prove why and that will reinforce those at to beliefs.

So what is confidence to me? It's about knowing and beliefing, not fakery or bullshing. Confidence comes from competence, it's what drives you, it's the feeling you get when you have something that you take pride it and is your why and your reason for living and waking in the morning. You won't have to force confidence when you doing what you do is living to your best potential. The actions you take brings on these feelings of confidence, that's what it is... if you have a craft, hobbies or some mission be it you love to make music and are entrenched in it, you some althelete or you really love animals and it's why you work at a shelter. You have your why and none of things require others, approval or acknowledgement, it's not only your highest form of expression but it makes you a more confident person. What ever you get a turned down or you're going through hardships, (because it applies to facets of life not just attracting women) you know that you were fine and perfectly confident in yourself before and after.

And what see today is a lot of young men are too focus on targeting a relationship when they haven't even developed a good relationship with themselves, have you ever asked yourself "forget what they want, what is it that I want" and granted you were made to seek out a partner to procreate and build a family. But that you were fundemently designed to find your way at the highest point of the Maslows Hierarchy of needs, the highest concept of self actualization. I wish I had knew this in my mid 30s, plainly put, what comes first in the emotion and then desires outside your self and control, the comes the physical things in the material world. And it all starts with understanding yourself, and getting control. We all have things with curious about and care about, if you do nothing then do something because it's all an inside job. The human brain is still a organ nobody fully understands, it's a super powerful computer that's unfortunately under utilized thanks Coaches using images of women, sex and lies to appeal to your lizard brain to their own gain. When creativity and the thinking outside the box that's required for the things you want to accomplish is how you keep the most important muscle healthy, think of all the other extra tips like going to the gym, dressing better, learning how to communicate better, these things are like accessories or make up, they're fleeting and no where near the deep work thats needed to produce that feeling of everlasting confidence without brute force.

Those are my thoughts and discoveries on the subject. Take what you will and discard what isn't useful to you.