When do younger women actually consider older men? What age difference or circumstances are we talking about?

spankyourkopita · 2022-03-31T07:50:04+00:00

i don't think this is going to be a particularly popular sentiment, but there's a reason you see women online warning each other off older men by saying things like "if he can't date someone his age it's because women his age know he's full of shit and won't buy what he's selling." men who actively pursue younger women radiate big irredeemable loser vibes, even if they're otherwise successful. i really cannot recommend pursuing people who have significantly less overall life experience than you

foxs_shrike · 2022-03-31T03:30:51+00:00

IME with age gap relationships it's not always about the money as much as you'd think. The relationship dynamics tend to be very dysfunctional. Maybe the man is filling some sort of role of protector or even parent, often without providing protection or good parenting, but the hope draws some women in, especially those with insecure attachment styles or bad childhood environments.

Frequently one or both are a sucker for pain and actively sought a critical partner they could never please. Usually at least one partner wants to totally run the show, and it's sometimes the woman. The man is trying to relive his youth and is terrified his wife will decide to leave him for a hot guy her age, so he showers her with money or criticizes her trying to keep her self-esteem low.

Maddzilla2793 · 2022-03-31T11:01:16+00:00

I was 28 and pushed by my friends to go on a date with a 50 year old man (yes I’m stupid.. for listening). My friends were like hey what’s the harm he is smart and rich and maybe it’ll be fun.

It was the worst date ever. It was like Nazi boot camp. He made me rock climb hours and couldn’t use my hands for days. He told me about the money he gave his previous “young catches” and how he got into “hot women” in graduate school when his then girlfriend became a stripper. But then began to tell me how jealous he was.

My phone went off and I grabbed it to stop it. He picked out of my hand slammed it on the table and broke my screen. Telling me how rude and disrespectful I was.

They just want a younger women they can mold and control.

I have a friend AND an aunt who just got out of a long relationships with her former college professor. Both ended very ugly. Same premise. The John hopkins professor also became a drug addict.

So yeah, be hot, young and controllable.

Estelwaterbottles · 2022-04-01T18:53:58+00:00

are you tryna get a younger woman......

thetruthishere_ · 2022-03-31T14:35:54+00:00

Most people date within 5 years over or under.

cruelcherry · 2022-04-06T23:46:09+00:00

Circumstances in which younger women might actually consider dating an older man is in a sugar daddy/baby arrangement. Or if he's like, rich & famous, like Elon Musk or Leonardo DiCaprio (the latter in which strictly dates under 25s--gross). Seriously, I only know one girl who actively pursues much much older men than her (30s and 40s), their financial status was irrelevant to her. She told me the reason being she feels they are more mature to be around, and she always hung around her younger brother's friends which turned her off from young men's immaturity.

I don't know any other woman who unironically pursues and is attracted to older men. I'm in my early 20s, most girls my age won't date anyone that's more than 3 years older than them. 4 is maybe pushing it. It's generally kind of creepy when an older guy is trying to hit on me. I assume he wants someone younger because he perceives younger women to be more naive and malleable, whereas a more experienced woman his own age can sniff out his bullshit easily. Redpill men always push this narrative that women naturally gravitate towards older men but it's just not true. In the past it was because women were more financially dependent on them, so of course we would select an older man who has his shit together. We no longer need men to survive, so if we could choose men who are younger, healthier, and closer to our age to start a family with and grow old with, why would we not?

CFinCanada · 2022-03-31T09:53:43+00:00

I would have to assume when they have daddy issues/no father figure in their life.

Inareskai · 2022-03-31T14:19:30+00:00

A friend of mine has, for the whole time I have known her, exclusively gone for older men. I'm talking 'if there's a less than 5 year gap, I'm not interested' older men. Her last relationship was when she was 27 and he was 43.

I honestly have no idea why she seems to have a preference for older men. She can't really explain it but it's definitely not related to things like money (the times she has been with older men she's often been working the same job as them with similar pay, or she was travelling and it was a fling etc). If I had to guess, in her case, it's that she really wants children so by going for men who are older than her she's increasing the chances that they will want marriage and children earlier/sooner into the relationship. It sort of acts as an increased chance of there being long term commitment.

But, she is very much in the minority. Other than her I don't know anyone in my friendship group who is dating someone with more than a 3 year gap in either direction (we're mostly between 27 and 29, oldest partner has just turned 34, youngest partner has just turned 25).

I also have two sets of friends who are a fair bit older than me. One who is 52 and her husband is 41, but it was a 3rd marriage for both of them and they're at very similar places in their lives. The other was 21 when she married a guy who was 27, but now they're 32 and 39 it seems like less of a big deal. She also had a whole lot of family issues etc, so there are likely other factors that drew her towards his stability. On the basis that I currently know quite a few men who are 27ish, stability is not a guarantee - it was the sturdiness of personality that she was drawn to (and, to be fair, she really does love him ) but his age was irrelevant - a 21 with similar a similar personality probably would have done just as well.

As you rightly notice, there are women who go for older men. But they are outliers and honestly I think a lot of the time it is despite the age gap, not because of it.

carritotaquito · 2022-03-31T17:44:20+00:00

I'm in my 30's, so I'm at the point where I say: I could date you or I could date your dad (even tho I'm currently in a very long term relationship).

So whoever treats me better, but isn't as old as my dad either.

Available_Wafer5870 · 2022-04-01T22:34:58+00:00

......df man

HeartCatchHana · 2022-04-02T06:51:09+00:00

When he has a charming likable personality and good looks.

greyman0425 · 2022-04-21T01:34:59+00:00

It doesn't happen a whole lot but it does happen more than people will admit.

exsoho · 2022-04-24T14:04:50+00:00

Actually I'll do a breakdown comparison for you lol

This is only based on my personal experience and not at all tarring everyone with the same brush. People are people and many are different and individual. But here you go 🙂

When younger men say "I'll do it later" They mean they won't do it all. When an older man says "I'll do it later" it's because he's taking a pragmatic approach.

A younger man is enthusiastic about having sex. An older man is enthusiastic about having sex with YOU.

A younger guy ignores you when around other men, and the other men follow suit. An older guy introduces you and speaks to everyone as if all are present.

A younger man waits an alloted time to text and is so cautious or keen when starting to date that he ends up self sabotaging. An older man has the experience to know that what he knows right now is enough to give it a go and if it doesn't work out, it's not personal on either side, either way.

Theres more but I wont go on. Obviously anyone can do any of these. But my personal experience is my chances of the positive are increased tenfold when he is older than me.

Angieslost · 2022-05-08T20:57:56+00:00

I'm 21 and honestly I am the most attractive to men in their late 30s to late 40s. I have always been like this and it's a curse. Did not have my first kiss until college and last week I was dumped by my FIRST LOVE because his ex wife found me and did not accept it.

I know most older men will date around their own age and I'm just an invisible kid to them, I just wish I was normal.

Angieslost · 2022-05-09T01:16:22+00:00

I am being attacked by an older woman because I was dating her ex husband. She is now trying to post erotica videos of me she stole from her ex phone on porn sites to ruin my life

Angieslost · 2022-05-10T16:27:48+00:00

I think woman mature quicker, and men take longer to mature.

Angieslost · 2022-05-11T03:57:08+00:00

I guess everyone is different. I think some men may slightly become less mature when they hit their 40s or 50s if unmarried and have money..they kinda seem ignored most their life and now they finally getting attention their not used to. Kinda like us in high-school

girl_InTheSwing · 2022-07-26T14:02:20+00:00

As a younger woman I went for older men because guys my age suck.

I have found however the main difference between me and a lot of people who've had 'bad' relationships with older men is that I set the rules of what is and isn't acceptable.

Title	When do younger women actually consider older men? What age difference or circumstances are we talking about?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	7
Comments	41
Date	March 30, 2022 11:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/tsm1xk/when_do_younger_women_actually_consider_older_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/when-do-younger-women-actually-consider-older-men.1109359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109359