A lesson learned

gursky0 · 2020-05-31T21:56:59+00:00

I am so sorry you've had to go through that alone. Men really show their true colors in your time of need. I know it must be incredibly difficult to find yourself alone when you're so physically vulnerable and were counting on him to be there to help you.

The hidden blessing in this is you know now, at 3 months, that this man is actually a callous, selfish baby that you can't trust or depend on. Imagine discovering this several years into a relationship, after marriage, when you're pregnant with his child.

Good for you for being strong and cutting him off! I wish you a swift, uneventful recovery. <3

divdec · 2020-05-31T23:24:00+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry. At least now you know if he says he’s anxious and depressed it means “emotionally unavailable” and “very easily overwhelmed”.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2020-06-01T02:06:02+00:00

Good lord woman, you aren’t overreacting - I’m horrified and saddened you’d even consider that a possibility (not in a judgmental way, it just makes me wish you hadn’t been treated so poorly that you’d feel that way). Expecting him to pick you up and fully care for you for a few days would be the absolute BARE MINIMUM. Please internalize that.

spreadmywings89 · 2020-05-31T23:43:41+00:00

I’m so sorry that you have been going through a tough time, both physically and emotionally. You are so right- it is best you were able to see this relatively early on. But I understand it doesn’t take away from the current hurt right now. I hope you at least know you have support here.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-06-01T02:21:14+00:00

Gawd. Men are so fucking disappointing.

I hope you feel better. Take care, love.

LunarCannons · 2020-06-01T02:31:03+00:00

I’m sorry to hear your story. You need to truly care about yourself, And know none of this is your fault.

You have been doing free emotional labor for this guy and he’s flighty AF before your surgery...AND ghosts during/after. Please do not worry about him. Block him. Do something to get over him. You deserve better.

I hope you can build/find a good group of friends who you can depend on in times of need. It’s not safe or healthy to depend on an uncommitted spouse for those sort of things. You don’t have to earn attention, empathy, and love from a man.

Miss__Moonlight · 2020-06-01T10:41:51+00:00

If it was the other way around, you would have packed his hospital bag, driven him, waited in the waiting room, and probably sleep the first night in the waiting room Or even his hospital room (if permitted) to ensure he doesn’t feel alone and scared, Brought him flowers, a balloon and a teddy bear.

Fuck this guy. Just be happy he showed his ass on the third month and you no longer have to waste more time on him.

I hope your recovery is smooth & swift!!

🎈🧸🌸💛

Pasdepromesses · 2020-06-01T10:31:35+00:00

Here I'm trying to recover and recuperate, yet I found myself stressing over this jackass wondering if HE'S okay, and what caused him to retreat.

I'm glad you cut him off. Hard times are 100% harder when you are with a NVM/LVM. It might not feel like it now, but it's better to be alone and have no one to care for you than to be in a relationship and have someone who should be taking care of you but isn't.

Invest your time in building your own life and support-system by meeting new people, get a hobby, take up an instrument, actively seek for more girlfriends. In this way, at least you will have joy in your life and you'll have a safety net without depending on any man.

Hope you're doing well and wish you a swift recovery!

43rdaccount · 2020-06-01T03:19:32+00:00

i hope you're doing better overall and having a smooth recovery.. im sorry that happened to you, it's so incredibly childish.

he couldn't even be a friend to you, it's not even about committing to a "Serious Relationship". it's like being a girlfriend is lesser than just being a friend. wouldn't he have checked on his bros after surgery???

Milobear27 · 2020-06-01T10:08:13+00:00

What a weak ass “man”. I hope you blocked him. I’m sure he is going to try to weasel his way back in with some sob story.

Feel better 💐

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-06-01T14:28:00+00:00

You are not over reacting at all. Next time you see him, kick him in the nuts. The jerk.

Howslap · 2020-06-04T02:30:53+00:00

Ick. I'm sorry you had to go through that with this loser. He sounds like a covert narcissit to me. Love bombing, making everything about him, inability to reciprocate the care you give him, abandoning you when you need him. You dodged a bullet sis. Its gonna be hard to realize it because when they are good, they are great and those moments give us amnesia. But by writing it all down and revisiting your words you can make sure not to gaslight yourself and remember everything properly to keep from returning to this abuse. Because it IS abuse. Stay strong sis. I'm here for you if you need to talk ❤

Title	A lesson learned
Author	redgummybears22
Upvotes	72
Comments	19
Date	May 31, 2020 5:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gu3aci/a_lesson_learned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-lesson-learned.674734 https://theredarchive.com/post/674734

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