A Self Healing Post - Understand why you may be attracted to certain men - or why the bond feels so strong

shockingupdate · 2021-09-28T03:52:32+00:00

This shit is so hard to unlearn but once you see the shitty patterns you’ve been keeping in your life for so long, you know it’s time to start doing the work.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-09-28T06:13:57+00:00

I often found myself going for guys I knew would treat me poorly because I believed that I deserved it and that I wasn’t good enough to find a partner who would treat me with respect. I was constantly told I wasn’t good enough and there was something wrong with me. You start to believe those words if you hear them often, especially during the crucial years of development. The scars of emotional abuse throughout my childhood cut deep and followed me for years. I’m continuing to heal now and every month it gets better and I feel I am making progress, sometimes the old thoughts come back but I’m proud that I was able to walk away from the last guy when his mask started slipping and he started revealing his misogynistic views

Impossible_Mud_7599 · 2021-09-28T03:16:18+00:00

Damn, this cut deep.

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-09-28T01:29:30+00:00

I have a dear friend who is entwined with a scrote. We talk for hours on the phone ( we live in different cities and my state is in lockdown). We discussed this - found on Instagram from the Holistic Psychologist.

It's important inner work we all need to attend too.

__

"Many of us become highly emotionally activated when our childhood attachment wounding is triggered.Attachment wounding comes from our relationships with parent-figures. When there’s mistrust, betrayal, or a consistent inability for a parent to meet our emotional needs as children— we carry this wounding into adulthood.So does our nervous system.

This looks like being hyper vigilant in romantic relationships, having consistent fear of betrayal or abandonment, avoidance or inability to truly connect.

We can begin to confuse our nervous system responses as sexual attraction.

We can also mistake a lack of nervous system activation with a partner as a lack of sexual attraction.

Especially if we grew up with homes with chaos, instability, or emotional abandonment.

Healing involves the process of becoming consciously aware to how our mind + body are responding.Reflections:

When do I find myself most attracted to this person?
Am I becoming activated by fear of abandonment, or am I feeling true (consistent) connection?
Am I seeking to be seen + heard by this person or am I seeking to be chosen?
Does this relationship means betraying parts of myself in order to be loved?
Is there an emotional addiction involved in the relationship with highs + lows? "

---

Professional-Pea-317 · 2021-09-28T04:51:36+00:00

This is the kind of post that I have to save and come back to digest bit by bit

Horror_Maize_6546 · 2021-09-28T08:47:33+00:00

Don't know if anybody will read my comment, but, this is a post from the Holistic Psychologist: is she considered FDS? I feel like some of her believes wouldn't

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-09-28T16:03:26+00:00

thelonelyempresss · 2021-09-29T01:49:41+00:00

I made this account because I was a long time reader of FDS but I was afraid to post here. I'm in the process of trying to rebuild myself and trying to hire a replacement therapist because my current one isn't effective enough.

I need CBT and deep deep analysis to understand why I am attracting garbage disguised as empathic, sweet men.

I'm successful and strong. Ambitious as fuck. But these losers come and take and take from me till I'm the one always losing sleep and skipping meals.

Title	A Self Healing Post - Understand why you may be attracted to certain men - or why the bond feels so strong
Author	HereForTheFreeFoodOk
Upvotes	516
Comments	16
Date	September 28, 2021 1:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pwvhot/a_self_healing_post_understand_why_you_may_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-self-healing-post-understand-why-you-may-be.1073863 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073863

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