Anyone else not comfortable with the idea of introducing their bf to their friends?

LevelTurbulent · 2020-12-15T02:43:00+00:00

I think any friend who would flirt with your boyfriend needs to be dropped from your life because she's toxic.

A boyfriend who tries to separate you from your friends has just exposed himself as an abuser. Run from those men.

chasingastarl1ght · 2020-12-15T02:47:01+00:00

You have terrible friends if they start flirting with your man!

Don't you guys do couple nights? In my main group of friends, everyone is in couples and it's a mixed group so significant others are always invited.

Then I've got the besties who are separate. We do girls night among us, but when we're all in relationship, double/triple date nights is fairly common. We play boardgames, go to nice restaurants, wine bars, cook for each others, go to cabins, etc. (Wow I miss pre covid world)

Time_Attention_1182 · 2020-12-15T03:11:19+00:00

Ok.

1- friends part:

If your friends are the type that would even remotely entertain flirting with your boyfriend then you are the equivalent of a “ friendmeisha “ ... why would you accept such liv people in your life ?

2- BF part:

1- Nothing wrong with “ I have my friend and he has his” actually that sounds pretty healthy, but if you are actively trying to keep them apart and spending mental energy keeping them apart something is off.

He should respect, appreciate and approve of your friends just because you do. Nothing more.

Secondly: if your BF will become clingy because you introduce him to your friends then you gotta ask yourself “ what is this guy made out of that he is easily insecure by your life and friends?

With all that ... i invite you to consider why you have so many insecurities about this? Why are you listening to low level opinions about what friendships do to your BF, why are you hanging out with people that believe that BFs become clingy because of their GF s friends?

The “ normal “ hv man would be proud of you and your social life, encourage your independence and be secure in his own relationship with you regardless of your friends .

$0.02

Edited to add : it would be nice if next time you specify that this is a theoretical question. I read the comments and I see that this is theoretical but the way you asked it, it made it sound like this is your current situation.

Hampered-Siren · 2020-12-15T03:49:09+00:00

Perhaps you just need a little more time to pass?

Personally I don't mix friends, family, or work with a guy till a good three to six month's has gone by, and I feel like he "might" be there to stay.

samarsharqi · 2020-12-15T05:51:48+00:00

I no longer have any friends I mistrust. I believe the women in my life are good women who would not flirt with my partner, would not bitch about me, and would not throw me under the bus.

If any of them broke this trust I wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of them.

I would much rather introduce a guy to my friends before he is my boyfriend. I want their perspectives. I want a second set of eyes and ears if I go to the bathroom in a crowded bar. I will stay in that damn bar for fifteen minutes so I can ask my friends what he got up to in that time.

Jinxhourglass · 2020-12-15T04:02:11+00:00

I’m paranoid too tbh. My ex knew my core friend group but never fully integrated into it. I was happy about that because we had a bad breakup and I got to tell everyone about it when I was ready.

This is preferable to a public break up where people may take sides. I only want to introduce a future partner to my friends once things are very serious with them and I’ve vetted them with the knowledge I have now after finding FDS.

Papaverinum · 2020-12-15T12:13:39+00:00

Well, that may sound harsh, but don't do it. Most relationships don't last, even the one we think are perfect... If there are third parties involved in your relationship things gonna be awkward. You may even find out bf cheated on one of your friends. Or end up with her, once you're no longer a couple...

level_up_always · 2020-12-15T08:11:19+00:00

i learned that lesson lol. introduce briefly sure but were not doing any kind of group hang ever (again).

girludontbringhome · 2020-12-16T01:46:12+00:00

You should always introduce your bf to your friends imo and have him hang out with you all of you on a regular basis (doesn’t have to be every single hang out, but at least some of them). Anytime I felt uncomfortable in the past to introduce a guy to my friends, it was because I was trying to hide something about him which is not a good sign! Also if you’re afraid your friend is going to flirt with your bf then she’s not really your friend.

The HVM-HVW couples in my life always hang out with each other’s friends.

fattestdink · 2020-12-17T04:28:46+00:00

All the more reason to do it early and keep an eye out. Why invest time in a dude who’s just going to try to sleep with your friends?

devoushka · 2020-12-18T16:06:48+00:00

If you're not comfortable with it it's probably because you know deep down some of your friends are snakes. I know my friends want the best for me and they've been there for me through heartbreaks and other fucked up relationships with men, so I'd want them to meet whoever I'm seriously dating.

Sometimes when you're in love you're blind to red flags and it can help if trusted friends say something.

I don't think you need to do group hang outs all the time but you don't want to be isolated from your single friends either.

Title	Anyone else not comfortable with the idea of introducing their bf to their friends?
Author	TheTower_14
Upvotes	54
Comments	21
Date	December 14, 2020 10:33 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kd8aga/anyone_else_not_comfortable_with_the_idea_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-not-comfortable-with-the-idea-of.506918 https://theredarchive.com/post/506918

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